I'm the complete opposite
Mine are fully capable and independent adults, 28 and 30, but I miss them. The youngest still stays at home, he was terrrbily ill with cancer and cancelled his plans to move into his own flat, now he's back on his feet I think he's just comfortable. He reckons he's saving a fortune
I don't rattle around the house feeling it empty, I know he'll move out sooner rather than later though, but I'm not throwing him out the door. I did see him looking at the *for sale* signs recently
I think family means different things to different people. To me, it's not just loving them and wanting them to thrive, it's being involved in their lives, whether it's my nearly 90 year old uncle or my cousins or my sons. I genuinely like them as people
I enjoy spending time with them, sharing their company
When my sons went to secondary school and were no longer able to come home for lunch, the silence drove me out of the house and I went to Uni. Now, HWMBLT is retired and it suits for me to be at home as much as possible.
No one is dependant or unable to pursue personal goals, we just get along very well.
Different folks, different ways of looking at the world.
I can't imagine making the kids do twenty minutes work to make up for me driving them someplace, mine would rather they made the effort to be on time so that I didn't have to drive them.
It's not putting a 'value' on things or time, but a regard for others. Similarly if they were late because life just got on top of them I'd go out of my way to help out, drive them, pick them up. Just a different outlook I reckon.
Emotional blackmail is as infra dig as is "because" as an answer.
I coiuldn't ever imagine myself as one of those grans who charge childminding fees so that their children *appreciate* the good turn they're doing for them.
My 2p worth,
cheers,
Toddy