Lessons for the Children
- Thread starter TeeDee
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To be honest, I'm not sure it was deliberate act (to teach them value vs cost) more over we gave them awareness that stuff costs you in some way. For example, my kids get pocket money, but not for free. They have to do chores. At the start chores where 'make your bed, put your washing in the basket'. As time went on, and they learnt that effort=money=icecream, we would ask them to consider if that £2 icecream was worth the money and how many more chores would they have to do to have that money again.
Over time, my kids happily do chores to save money so they can have freedom with their money. We don't tell our kids what to spend their hard earned on, they earn it, they burn it. If my eldest burnt all her pocket money in McDonald's, that's her issue. If she asks for more money because she then wants something else, unlucky. Earn some more! She has now got herself a part time job in a little cafe in town to earn her own. She's 14. Thats was an easy progression for her because she the value in the extra effort of getting up early on a weekend.
My youngest (he's 10) is a right little saver and barely spends his hard earned unless its on second hand PS4 games or football tops on holiday. He has learnt that he gets the same from a second hand game or a fake Galatasary top that he would from the original. What he values more than money is time. Time to go out and play. If I stopped his pocket money it wouldn't really bother him. But if I take away his time, he's really aware of that. So I relate his effort on chores or school work to his free time. He got it really quick.
We have also brought our kids up to value experiences over the cash spent on the experience. Family time is a highly important activity for us. We don't need hardly if ever any cash to do things together. From walking the dog to holidays abroad, we do it all together. Mucking in, chatting, laughing and talking all the way. We share food, funny stories, you know, family stuff. Most of it costs nothing in money but is very rewarding in the experience.
Dunno if that answers your question, I'm rambling and I've not had coffee yet!
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Parenting is an interesting topic I think. We aren't taught it but we kind of learn it like most things as a kid by watching others.
We experience our upbringing and what we recall of our learn parent's parenting style. We see the faults through child's eyes and remember them onto adulthood and parenthood if that happens. You then parent in a way that "corrects" your parents' work on that. However your kids see your mistakes and maybe much later "corrects" your mistakes. However they just don't, you don't and your parents didn't neither. We all just do our best with what parenting abilities we've got.
Or on other ways, each generations mess their kids up in new ways! I would use stronger words but there's filters on here I think.
Seriously, there's no right way only good and bad ways in the extreme. Most are just doing our best.
One last point, if you're a parent now you are doing it with a generation that are truly the first of the new, modern age. Communication is futuristic to times I was a kid or my parents were. We're nowhere near learning how to manage this era we're in. We are not the only source of life learning or skills. We might not be the biggest influence. That to me is a scary thought. It's not self reliance or the old skills that's the most important. We need modern skills and my generation aren't well placed for that as we have no experience of growing up in this modern world. Possibly the first generation where the kids no more than their parents in this respect.
We experience our upbringing and what we recall of our learn parent's parenting style. We see the faults through child's eyes and remember them onto adulthood and parenthood if that happens. You then parent in a way that "corrects" your parents' work on that. However your kids see your mistakes and maybe much later "corrects" your mistakes. However they just don't, you don't and your parents didn't neither. We all just do our best with what parenting abilities we've got.
Or on other ways, each generations mess their kids up in new ways! I would use stronger words but there's filters on here I think.
Seriously, there's no right way only good and bad ways in the extreme. Most are just doing our best.
One last point, if you're a parent now you are doing it with a generation that are truly the first of the new, modern age. Communication is futuristic to times I was a kid or my parents were. We're nowhere near learning how to manage this era we're in. We are not the only source of life learning or skills. We might not be the biggest influence. That to me is a scary thought. It's not self reliance or the old skills that's the most important. We need modern skills and my generation aren't well placed for that as we have no experience of growing up in this modern world. Possibly the first generation where the kids no more than their parents in this respect.
