**LONG POST**
But if you get confused in social situations and the interactions between male and female please read
I might be stirring the pot here but I'd like to clarify some of the intentions that may be perceived as rude or otherwise.
I have had (and still do ) trouble knowing what is acceptable and what is not, so I'd like to give a little clarification on the rules that govern male interactions and female interactions which vary quite significantly.
Males tend to be a bit more physical in their interactions. For example, ribbing or generally 'extracting the urine' is a friendly and welcome overture, and, depending
on who is in a group, swearing and telling someone to f*** off is considered appropriate, in good humour and fun depending on what has been said before and if the phrase is memorable as
being a joke (Fiery Tw*t for example), Although saying that, sometimes it can be seen as mean, it does depend on body language and facial expression a great deal.
Innuendo is a big part of male bonding and wrestling features quite heavily as well. It's not considered violent or aggressive, just a rite of passage, including other males into the group.
Females tend to be more restrained. Banter is generally in the realms of 'gossip'. Females generally are a lot less physical and display none of the signs of ribbing or generally 'extracting the urine',
we also tend to be a lot less physical in our dealings with other females, hugging is one thing that differs, females tend to hug a lot more.
Our topics of converstation tend towards other people, sometimes known as gossip and wrestling is considered a great no-no. Apart from a hug or light touches such as picking lint from
clothing or hairdressing between female acquaintances or friends, physical contact simply doesn't happen, if there is physical contact such as wrestling, it's called a fight and is considered violence.
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When males and females are in a group together, misunderstandings can arise from each others behaviour...
If a female hugs a new male acquaintance (some one they have known for 8 hours or less) then it will be considered a sexual overture. Similarly if a male tries to initiate a wrestling match with a female
at any point in the friendship, the female will see this as an attack and the friendship will end, even if the male feels that they were just trying to be friendly.
Male banter tends to dominate any conversation where there are two or more males in a conversation, trying to have a female conversation will result in the males generally going along with it for a while
and then relapsing into their main type of group conversation - banter and innuendo.
If there are significantly more (3:1) females than males in a conversation then the female type of behaviour and conversation will be prevalent.
Although the above does depend on how confident either the males or females are, for example if there are three males and two females in a conversation and the males are very confident, the conversation
will be male based and vice versa, with the females taking the lead in the conversation if the males are less confident.
This is when it starts to get confusing...
Social situations change the dynamics of any group...
In everyday life, such as the office or the local pub:
Males will tend towards posturing instead of wrestling. Standing up straight, head high ect... If they do this with other males, it's perfectly acceptable, although if they do this with females
it's considered an aggressive posture and will likely be met with coldness and sharp or short words from the female and an instant dislike that can last forever! (men, here's a tip, when you meet a female in any
situation, assume the humble position or if you don't know how to do that, then dip your head
)
Females will often vie for power via dress and body language, Tall, and confident Usually gained with high heels) will win the day.
For both male and female, the conversational topics tend towards the office, family and the business rather than anything else, female's will possible talk about celebrities or family and home, but the conversations tend
to be bland and very vanilla.
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Bushcraft allows both sexes the freedom to break free from the societal norms and express themselves as they would in an intimate situation. The problem of finding something to talk about is taken away as every
single person there is interested in bushcraft so the major stepping stone to making friendships (finding a topic that you both can talk about equally) is readily available.
Males and female interactions still have their boundaries but after a few drinks the barriers are dropped and it can come as a shock to both sexes to see each others interactional norms.
Males will behave in front of females like they do in an all male group in safe and familiar surroundings (ragging, ribbing, 'extracting the urine' and wrestling) which they don't normally do in a social situation (at the pub or office)
Females will tend to join in more with the male form of behaviour, although wrestling is strictly off the menu, most females feel as if they can 'let their hair down' and join in the banter and ribbing.
The problem arises when the females that have only ever had a female interaction come into this relaxed atmosphere and it can be confusing and sometimes even frightening. There is nothing to be frightened of, the males
will not hurt the female, far from it, but the fear can still be there are might lead to misunderstanding.
So rounding up:
Males in a group where they feel relaxed and comfortable with themselves and each other will wrestle, call each other names and 'extract the urine'. This is a normal behaviour between males and creates friendship bonds and affection.
Females in a relaxed and comfortable group will talk about feelings, emotions and sex (yes men
sex ) Females don't tend to talk about sex in front of males, but it has been known to happen.
Mixed groups will generally take on the male aspects of conversation, although that does depend on the ratio...
(3:1) If there are three females to every one male, the conversation will tend towards the female style.
(1:1) One to one ratio, the conversation will spilt into groups, more so if the people don't know each other very well, males on one side and females on the other (you can see this happening anywhere).If it's just a male and female talking then the conversation can go either way, depending on the more confident speaker.
(1:3) Three males to one female, the conversation will definitely be male based.
Alcohol will make these numbers smaller as it releases inhibitions.
Another interesting note, males will refrain from wrestling in front of females unless they have had a drink or two,,,
I hope this had helped clarify some of the more esoteric points of conversation and male/female relationshops.... Let the flames begin!
