Disability and behavior of members
- Thread starter firecrest
- Start date
This is a immensely complex subject and one with which society - let alone BCUK - has got their heads round yet. The message is really one of tolerance from both sides - we can but try. I have sympathies with both ends of the argument and wonder how I would react if in the same position.
Red, you're not the only one. Having read through all of the above, it has confirmed my decision to keep my bushcraft a more personal thing that I would share only with a small group of trusted individuals. In this way, anyone with a 'problem' (sorry, not sure how else to write it...) will be part of a closer community who would be more understanding as they would get to spend a lot more time with that individual/s, and learn to expect/tolerate any unusual behaviour. However, I would also see it as the duty of that very small group to help the individual in learning what is acceptable behaviour so that they can live a better life without having to explain about ADD, ADHD, AS, whatever.
For the above reasons, I will continue to avoid the Bushmoot and other such large gatherings of people I don't know, especially where alcohol may be involved. I should strongly point out that this is no criticism of the wonderful job that Tony and the other volunteers do for all of us. Kudos, Tony, as it is clear that you have the wishes and respect of at least 99% of the people on this website.
I strongly suspect that the vast majority of the people at the Moot knew nothing of what has been discussed above and had a thoroughly good time; this discussion has probably come as a bit of a surprise to them.
Long may the Moot continue and good luck to all who attend in future.
Red, you're not the only one. Having read through all of the above, it has confirmed my decision to keep my bushcraft a more personal thing that I would share only with a small group of trusted individuals. In this way, anyone with a 'problem' (sorry, not sure how else to write it...) will be part of a closer community who would be more understanding as they would get to spend a lot more time with that individual/s, and learn to expect/tolerate any unusual behaviour. However, I would also see it as the duty of that very small group to help the individual in learning what is acceptable behaviour so that they can live a better life without having to explain about ADD, ADHD, AS, whatever.
For the above reasons, I will continue to avoid the Bushmoot and other such large gatherings of people I don't know, especially where alcohol may be involved. I should strongly point out that this is no criticism of the wonderful job that Tony and the other volunteers do for all of us. Kudos, Tony, as it is clear that you have the wishes and respect of at least 99% of the people on this website.
I strongly suspect that the vast majority of the people at the Moot knew nothing of what has been discussed above and had a thoroughly good time; this discussion has probably come as a bit of a surprise to them.
Long may the Moot continue and good luck to all who attend in future.
Drew I'm so relieved you said that
Thank you, 'cos after BR's post I really started to wonder if I'd been a real horror to you atb,
Mary
Toddy, you are a good reader of body language and if the hug was unwelcome, you would've picked up on it, stop stressing!
Mikey P, the Scots generally meet up in ones and twos and then every so often someone organises a bigger get together.
There's *always* space for folks to slope off and get out of the hubbub.
It's the same at the Moot, there's an entire estate as well as the biggest sand dunes in Europe to wander / camp / chill out. You're only as close to folks as you chose to be.
Lindsey herself said that she noticed the issues she mentioned at the Moot and at the other Meet. Not one of the Mods or any other person noticed a problem, because I can assure you had we done so it would have been dealt with at the time.
I'm glad Lindsey did bring it up though, it gives us all a chance to have a long think about our actions.
cheers,
Toddy
There's *always* space for folks to slope off and get out of the hubbub.
It's the same at the Moot, there's an entire estate as well as the biggest sand dunes in Europe to wander / camp / chill out. You're only as close to folks as you chose to be.
Lindsey herself said that she noticed the issues she mentioned at the Moot and at the other Meet. Not one of the Mods or any other person noticed a problem, because I can assure you had we done so it would have been dealt with at the time.
I'm glad Lindsey did bring it up though, it gives us all a chance to have a long think about our actions.
cheers,
Toddy
I wasn't trying to freak anyone out Mary. I once had a very long chat with a lass who had been groped at work. I realised that her reaction to being groped was exactly the same as mine to being hugged. Unwanted intimacy from a person that the recipient has absolutely no desire to be intimate with. Its deeply unpleasant.
I guess whatever the motivation - sexual or otherwise, its always worth remembering that because you want to be intimate with someone, that does not mean they have any desire to be intimate with you.
This is true of male humour , female touchiness.
To me unwarranted physical contact is far more disturbing and unwarranted than any amount of verbal interaction - its a violation of my body. However its clear from this thread that others feel the same about words.
Interesting and illuminating
Red
I guess whatever the motivation - sexual or otherwise, its always worth remembering that because you want to be intimate with someone, that does not mean they have any desire to be intimate with you.
This is true of male humour , female touchiness.
To me unwarranted physical contact is far more disturbing and unwarranted than any amount of verbal interaction - its a violation of my body. However its clear from this thread that others feel the same about words.
Interesting and illuminating
Red
Lol! It (wrestling) tends to happen in very relaxed circumstances and only when it's an all male group of intimate friends... Not going to speculate on what that means
Lol! It (wrestling) tends to happen in very relaxed circumstances and only when it's an all male group of intimate friends... Not going to speculate on what that means
Well, I've never wrestled intimately with male friends...
I used to arm wrestle in bars. Does that count?
Well, I've never wrestled intimately with male friends...
I used to arm wrestle in bars. Does that count?
Ever watch a rugby game? ( Adult version of american football )
Lots of good points from both sides. Everyone has to learn and everyone has to give and take.
Linz has a valid point. I myself suffer from ADHD and Drew and I have had a long chat about his disability. On the upside when Drew first came to "The naughty corner" he was a little over enthusiastic both with his volume and his beer But over the last three years this young man has developed a humour and style all of his own and has brought his own "essence" to the group. He has taken a ribbing in good sport and indeed given as well as he got. His humour has had me crying laughing on more than one occasion and he has made his mark on so many lives. He can be loud and gregarious and when this is pointed out he is the 1st to hold his hands up and apologise. I for one consider him a friend and an integral part of the moot.... If only to wake sleeping bears in the night. I'm sure there are many people who use this forum with some form of "difference", some like to keep it private, others like Drew think if people know they will be more understanding. Please be aware though that what may seem like a personal attack to a passing eye may be the result of a day or two of banter and tomfoolery. Somehow my bivvy got covered from head to to in loo roll during the night at the moot...Was this an attack on me?? If it was...it was bloody funny
I'll get me coat
But over the last three years this young man has developed a humour and style all of his own and has brought his own "essence" to the group. He has taken a ribbing in good sport and indeed given as well as he got. His humour has had me crying laughing on more than one occasion and he has made his mark on so many lives. He can be loud and gregarious and when this is pointed out he is the 1st to hold his hands up and apologise. I for one consider him a friend and an integral part of the moot.... If only to wake sleeping bears in the night. I'm sure there are many people who use this forum with some form of "difference", some like to keep it private, others like Drew think if people know they will be more understanding. Please be aware though that what may seem like a personal attack to a passing eye may be the result of a day or two of banter and tomfoolery. Somehow my bivvy got covered from head to to in loo roll during the night at the moot...Was this an attack on me?? If it was...it was bloody funny I'll get me coat
But over the last three years this young man has developed a humour and style all of his own and has brought his own "essence" to the group. He has taken a ribbing in good sport and indeed given as well as he got. His humour has had me crying laughing on more than one occasion and he has made his mark on so many lives. He can be loud and gregarious and when this is pointed out he is the 1st to hold his hands up and apologise. I for one consider him a friend and an integral part of the moot.... If only to wake sleeping bears in the night. I'm sure there are many people who use this forum with some form of "difference", some like to keep it private, others like Drew think if people know they will be more understanding. Please be aware though that what may seem like a personal attack to a passing eye may be the result of a day or two of banter and tomfoolery. Somehow my bivvy got covered from head to to in loo roll during the night at the moot...Was this an attack on me?? If it was...it was bloody funny
I'll get me coat
Well Said Dave,
Somehow my bivvy got covered from head to to in loo roll during the night at the moot...Was this an attack on me?? If it was...it was bloody funny
I'll get me coat
No that was those sneaky Ninja's:yikes:
Somehow my bivvy got covered from head to to in loo roll during the night at the moot...Was this an attack on me?? If it was...it was bloody funny
Sounds more like an 'attack of the mummy' ....
(or is that next years moot??
)
Triple Velvet Ninja's...How do they walk??? "Soft Soft Soft!"
I just sprayed the 'board
lmao
Well said Mad Dave though its not like you needed to announce you had ADHD, all your subtle hints at it paid off!!
I know loads of people like fireside antics, it just wouldnt be fun without them. At on point me and Woodstock were joking about making arrows made of glow sticks round the moot side leading to ..er `somebody`s` hammock which we put a red light one and see who turned up.
But we figured either you or drew would turn up first and the bloke wouldnt see the funny side. heheheh!
I know loads of people like fireside antics, it just wouldnt be fun without them. At on point me and Woodstock were joking about making arrows made of glow sticks round the moot side leading to ..er `somebody`s` hammock which we put a red light one and see who turned up.
But we figured either you or drew would turn up first and the bloke wouldnt see the funny side. heheheh!
I am never sure which side of the counter it is that Woodstock stands at his place of work......
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