Disability and behavior of members

[w00dsmoke]

I guess this means I treat others as I would hope they will treat me, normally, without prejudice or any kind of discrimination. Positive or negative.
What I want is to be allowed to get on with life/work/fun/stuff.
SO why shouldn't we all get that option?

Anyone with any permanent or temporary health issues, mental or physical has the ability to choose how disabling or enabling those issues are.


J

I'm going to bring this back a bit J. I understand what you are saying but you contradict yourself here. I think it helps to speak about this as it puts what I said in a real life context. I said it is "society that disables people". You said "why shouldn't we all get that option?" and that "Anyone...has the ability to choose how disabling or enabling those issues are." TBH that's cxonfusing. I'll tell you why. Some folk do not have the ability to communicate/travel or be independent. They in most cases do not have the opportunities that many of us take for granted (from buses to trains to buildings etc)as you correctly identified by recognising this however, this is not down to an individuals perception on whether they have an "impairment", or whatever "label" you use to describe it (because societies need labels, they need descriptions for example in the DDAct). It is society that is you, me and everyone else in it that disables people. Why? Because we do not make an effort to make it INCLUSIVE enough for everyone, regardless of their ability. That's the problem. Regardless of anyones ability they should have equality of opportunity and frankly that does not happen. Debates like this I find are invaluable to see various views and persepctives. I recently finished working for one of the uk's leading charities working on breaking down the barriers to inclusion within society and that's the view they and many other leading think tanks take on it.

 

[drewdunnrespect]

this thread as you will know has alot about me and my disabilities and well can i just say that even tho yes society does exclude alot a people who have disabilitys and in school and what not that does include me. yet this community has excepted me openly and never been bothered by it so if it can be done here the question has to be asked why cant the rest of society do the same

 

[Tengu]

yep, ditto

 

[Miyagi]

this thread as you will know has alot about me and my disabilities and well can i just say that even tho yes society does exclude alot a people who have disabilitys and in school and what not that does include me. yet this community has excepted me openly and never been bothered by it so if it can be done here the question has to be asked why cant the rest of society do the same

Drew,

like the friends I've met here online (and in real life! ) I treated them all as I found them. (no rohypnol jokes).

I'll need to read this thread from the start, not that it'd make any difference, I take folk as they are.

The only common disability I was aware of on here was you all seem to suffer from Magpie Syndrome...

"Ooh!!! Ooh!!! Another sharp shiney thing!!!" or whatever it is that floats folks boats bergans, tipis etc.

More power to your elbow Drew.

Liam

 

[Toddy]

Maybe it's because both of you, and by the sounds of it Jellytot too, make the effort to be part of society
It's very hard to include someone when they kind of exclude themselves.

If folks don't know that there's a problem, and don't personally know someone with whatever issues/ disabilities/ restrictions whether physical or mental or social, then they won't make the effort to be inclusive.

There are also problems that we're all reluctant to discuss. Personal space, negative reactions to the 'different', how does one help someone who is physically or mentally at the edges of the bell curve ?

I think the only way to deal with it, by all of us, is to accept people as individuals........don't ask the person pushing the wheelchair, ask the person sitting in it, kind of thing. But the person sitting in the chair has to at least acknowledge that the chair needs a ramp not stairs.

cheers,
Toddy

 

[drewdunnrespect]

cheers guys and yes toddy your not wrong about what you said ask the person in the wheel chair not the pusher and yes we as in those who have a disability are to accept we can do everything with out help your not wrong

cheers drew

 

[J4C3]

Im appalled to hear of a Physical assault and that wont ever happen if im present,MOOT sounds a great affair and from what ive seen on here,im new but have been lurking and reading for a short while,the people seem warm,welcome and adult about most topics.

Upon meeting someone you dont know if they have a disability or a good or bad person,not everything is noted in a glance or a short conversation,but im sure any misfortune events are down to mis-communication and id hope if one person struggles to bridge the gap with someone who has difficulty in communicating some one else may help until things reach a point where all is settled and everyones at ease

If i can online or in person at a MOOT( which id like to join down the line)anyone needs help of any sort id like extended a hand,lifes hard enough and modern life puts strains upon us all,so if in my spare time i find people who like myself share some common ground(bushcraft) then its worth an effort to make a friend and help someone out,community spirit has been all but wiped out in the UK,so when you find a knitted community like this ,its a great suprise.

As you may tell from my grammar at times im dyslexic and im sure there are members unmentioned that have some disability or even some that have other issues which may effect there mood and interaction.we all have good and bad days but friends afford each other some space and time and allow error.

If i were to meet a stranger who was a friend of a friend id extend the same manners to the stranger as my i do my friend,hope this doesnt sound rude but you cant expect people to go off and read up about disability and too understand it,even if they did then im not so sure it will make that much difference as something in print wont equal meeting a person in the flesh,but they do have a responsibility to treat everyone with respect and dignity,even if you dont see eye to eye or take to a person at all you can still be decent toward them

If you feel someone is being or acting different then so what?,they are human and the same as you and i,give everyone a fair go in life

Someone making a physical act is never in anyway warranted in a meeting like this,im sorry to hear that you were upset and hurt.
i hope to meet you all eventually at a MOOT or otherwise and make some new friends,always better to make a mate than an enemy,id like to meet anyone if they arent like me ,great more to learn

Sorry for diggin' an old thread but im new and trying to read around to get up too speed,it hasnt put me off going to a future MOOT and id hope no others

some great posts thanks for the eye opener,i just hope you can all extened the same welcome to an ugly new member

 

[Tricia]

I have Meniere`s disease, which affects my balance and hearing. On bad days I can`t get out of bed, and travelling anywhere is now a challenge..had it for about ten years now.
When the balance is bad, I walk unsteadily and of course many folks assume I`m drunk and have often treated me accordingly. Wouldn`t be so bad but I can`t drink anymore because of it...who wants to add dizziness on top of dizziness?
Having said that, if I do get any kinda negative reaction, it usually vanishes when I explain the Menieres but privately, have to say my respect for that person is hard to find since I now believe they judge solely on appearances...*shrugs*
I guess that maybe there are always going to be `bad uns` in any gathering who will pick on weaker folks, make fun of the disadvantaged or simply be snide because it`s how they get their jollies.
Am also guessing there are many other disabled folks who, like me, avoid gatherings they`d love to attend because of such reactions.
Yup, I`m a wimp, and would rather not go than walk unsteadily past a group who openly snigger and point at the `drunk woman`.
Most other folks are far braver than me, happily.

Can I also mention something (possibly touchy) from the `other side`..that is, upon meeting a disabled woman and her also disabled daughter, I offered simple help to her when she was dealing with one of her dogs once, the same help I`d have offered to anyone, disabled or not, and she automatically took umbrage at my offer, and gave me a right dressing down by saying I was being condescending and insulting.
I genuinely hadn`t given her disability a thought and was simply being polite, and, I thought, helpful.
So sometimes, disabled folks can be very touchy and it can seem to others that no matter what you say or do it`ll be taken the wrong way.
Two sides to every story, and I genuinely hope I haven`t offended anyone.

 

[drewdunnrespect]

tricia you make a valid point about disbaled poeple refuseing help and being annoyed and upset when more capable people do offer help.

the thing is tho you have got to remember that disabled people normally are quite driven especially if the live independently because they have had to over come these issues before they can have a normal life (if there is such a thing as normal) so i no it can get annoying when the take the huff but what to do is not get a annoyed just turn around and say fine no worries but if you do need a hand shout and i will help.
the reason i say this is you cant physically see i have a disability at all yet its there and can be quite frustrating at times especially with hand and eye quardination tasks that require fidely use of the fingers. or ask me to stay carm and sit still for long periods it is torture for me but it will eventually get easier i suspect and thats why i allways off er help and will all ways take help if nessecary.

drew

 

[Toddy]

Tricia, hand on heart, I can truthfully tell you that if there's a Scottish Meet up you can get to, come along and be welcome

Sometimes it must help surely that friends, or small gatherings like Meet ups, know that you have a problem that causes your balance to be ropey ?
It's then that people see past the body language and actually see the person

In an ideal world everyone would recognise the symptoms and act accordingly, but in reality few will ever have interacted with someone suffering Meniere's disease but will have seen drunk folks staggering a bit.

Drew, I hadn't realised that you had problems with hand/eye stuff too
Double whammy

cheers,
M

 

[Tricia]

Good points from you both, many thanks for responding I think the woman in question who took it bad when I offered help, Drew, went overboard a bit and that`s what has stuck in my mind most.
Toddy, would love to attend a meeting but doubt there will be any this far out in the sticks, it can be expensive for folks to get here which is a shame given the scenery and all.

 

[poddle]

Like I posted earlier Drew, if you keep the people that are around you informed (especially the team leader) of your condition, then it need not be a problem, as long as the set up you are with is able to cope with your condition

If you shut up about it and put yourself in potentially dangerous, hazardous, or confrontational positions then expect the worse.

The bottom line is that it's your responsibility inform others. The onus is on YOU


This applies throughout all schools and colleges, and workplaces.


If an informed person then goes on to bully,or tease you, then action can be taken.
If he is not informed, he may think you are being "off" with him, and treat you accordingly.

Just to draw a line under the subject, its gone on for ages.

 

[drewdunnrespect]

tricia if you look in meet ups and social chatter under scotland you will see there is a lot of meets in your area

also toddy yes i do have both but only slightly in both cases (ie hyperactive and dyspraxic) but yes it can get quite annoying and its partialy why me and firecast get on so well cos she seams to understand cos she seems to have the same sort of stuff which is why this thread came about.

 

[Tricia]

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tricia if you look in meet ups and social chatter under scotland you will see there is a lot of meets in your area

Thanks Drew, will check that out.

 

[drewdunnrespect]

neee worries babe