Disability and behavior of members
- Thread starter firecrest
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Bang on joejoe. In an insane world then insane is normal.
Look at it this way, a couple of hundred years ago, people married their daughters off at 10 or 12 for example. A young woman who reached 16 would be considered too old to marry.
Today, Its the total opposite, Its a crime under 16 and 18 is considered as too young to marry.
Funny old world innit.
Oh bugger, though I got confused in the online AQ test, assed it up and had to go back and consider the questions again just to make sure I had answered positive or negative in the right order, pressed the button and got 42, I was clueless as to what it meant, then, ah, I noticed, above 32 means, yeah, a possibility of Asperger's syndrome.
Well, firstly tests, even simple tests stress me out and I usually stuff them up, the story of my life, but then following a session with an educational psychologist because I was stuffing up my degree college course a few months back, I got told although I was in the top 3 % of the population for intelligence and a mensa type score in the top 30 %, I clearly had Aspergic tendancies. Not that this was a surprise really, because it had been mentioned before, my ex got it into her head I had it, and that was the final crack that broke the camel's back in the relationship, it also stuffed up my employment and any last vestiges of why bother working, the constrant striving for what we are told we need, really is so false.
But this week, following the report by the Ed. Psychologist, I relented and saw a Psychiatrist, ( I long held a distrust for them, in fact I tend to trust and distrust the wrong people), the result of which, due to my History, social interaction and god knows what I said, the Psych concluded, yeah, defo Aspergers, and something new, mild Autism is in there, whatever that means. Anyways, am 42 now, and my past history has an explanation, my misunderstanding and depression has a reason, and I were just thinking prior to diagnosis, I were just an oddball, a bit of a social outcast, a loner riding the wave of previously described bi polar disorder. It's not bi polar, but the constant highs and lows of failing where others I observe seem to thrive. But yeah, depression I understand is common with autistic spectrum disorders, as is self medication, the only time I can be an inapropriate, brash myself when the beer is in, I can relax and be myself. My pals, very close pals know me, and do make apologies on my behalf.
But, with a life time of learning to compensate to at least exist in society, I understand there are some issues I still need to look at, social interaction of the verbal and non verbal variety, and there plain old communication, I see asperger's as a gift, for it turns out through my college course, I have what has been called a 'gift' for teaching people with learning difficulties, I succeed in teaching where the tutors fail, and I just cannot sit there and ignore a mechanical problem, I just have to fix it. But then, that was my profession, a general repairman, I could 'see' faults, where they were and what to do, all in my mind.
But, I think I digressed from what I was going to say, perhaps too much detail, to which I don't know, I apologise for, but I would like to say to the OP, well done for bringing up this subject, for it is good to know those with developmental disorders are recognised here.
But to me, the diagnosis means only one thing, license to be an eccentric oddball, I am happy with myself in that, and I don't care what other people think of what I wear and do to make me happy, I feel free in my disability, a freedom I have never felt before.
But, as an aside, the Psychologist ; Simon Baron - Cohen, who developed the AQ test linked on here, is he Ali G's brother ?
If it is, that explains Sacha Baron - Cohen's intellect.
Well, firstly tests, even simple tests stress me out and I usually stuff them up, the story of my life, but then following a session with an educational psychologist because I was stuffing up my degree college course a few months back, I got told although I was in the top 3 % of the population for intelligence and a mensa type score in the top 30 %, I clearly had Aspergic tendancies. Not that this was a surprise really, because it had been mentioned before, my ex got it into her head I had it, and that was the final crack that broke the camel's back in the relationship, it also stuffed up my employment and any last vestiges of why bother working, the constrant striving for what we are told we need, really is so false.
But this week, following the report by the Ed. Psychologist, I relented and saw a Psychiatrist, ( I long held a distrust for them, in fact I tend to trust and distrust the wrong people), the result of which, due to my History, social interaction and god knows what I said, the Psych concluded, yeah, defo Aspergers, and something new, mild Autism is in there, whatever that means. Anyways, am 42 now, and my past history has an explanation, my misunderstanding and depression has a reason, and I were just thinking prior to diagnosis, I were just an oddball, a bit of a social outcast, a loner riding the wave of previously described bi polar disorder. It's not bi polar, but the constant highs and lows of failing where others I observe seem to thrive. But yeah, depression I understand is common with autistic spectrum disorders, as is self medication, the only time I can be an inapropriate, brash myself when the beer is in, I can relax and be myself. My pals, very close pals know me, and do make apologies on my behalf.
But, with a life time of learning to compensate to at least exist in society, I understand there are some issues I still need to look at, social interaction of the verbal and non verbal variety, and there plain old communication, I see asperger's as a gift, for it turns out through my college course, I have what has been called a 'gift' for teaching people with learning difficulties, I succeed in teaching where the tutors fail, and I just cannot sit there and ignore a mechanical problem, I just have to fix it. But then, that was my profession, a general repairman, I could 'see' faults, where they were and what to do, all in my mind.
But, I think I digressed from what I was going to say, perhaps too much detail, to which I don't know, I apologise for, but I would like to say to the OP, well done for bringing up this subject, for it is good to know those with developmental disorders are recognised here.
But to me, the diagnosis means only one thing, license to be an eccentric oddball, I am happy with myself in that, and I don't care what other people think of what I wear and do to make me happy, I feel free in my disability, a freedom I have never felt before.
But, as an aside, the Psychologist ; Simon Baron - Cohen, who developed the AQ test linked on here, is he Ali G's brother ?
If it is, that explains Sacha Baron - Cohen's intellect.
Problem with simple tests like these is that you can make them what you want, they are easy to fiddle, guess what they want to hear or guess what you 'want' them to hear.
i`ve read most of the posts on this topic and have a serious question for you all.
regardless of impairment/mental health problems, `(not counting myself)` but for those who consider yourselves as normal, what is your tolerance level for those that you consider abnormal & what do you base this judgement on? physical/mental/drugs,alcohol related or just because they do not fit in to what you see as the norm` for your every day way of life? be honest.
regardless of impairment/mental health problems, `(not counting myself)` but for those who consider yourselves as normal, what is your tolerance level for those that you consider abnormal & what do you base this judgement on? physical/mental/drugs,alcohol related or just because they do not fit in to what you see as the norm` for your every day way of life? be honest.
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I have a wee thing to ask folks. I have in the past been guilty of using learned terminology which is fairly loaded and demeaning to a huge percentage of the population. I have since learned that we should be mindful of what our language says. For example Did-abled shouldn't be used, we should use impairment instead. Because I have a broken back does that mean I am less able than anyone else? NO. I have an impairment, that's all. I am NOT disabled. I am more than able to do what I choose to do within my own set limits.
Please remember this when talking about those with IMPAIRMENTS, they are NOT DISABLING, it is society that disables people not our bodies or minds.
Please remember this when talking about those with IMPAIRMENTS, they are NOT DISABLING, it is society that disables people not our bodies or minds.
I have a wee thing to ask folks. I have in the past been guilty of using learned terminology which is fairly loaded and demeaning to a huge percentage of the population. I have since learned that we should be mindful of what our language says. For example Did-abled shouldn't be used, we should use impairment instead. Because I have a broken back does that mean I am less able than anyone else? NO. I have an impairment, that's all. I am NOT disabled. I am more than able to do what I choose to do within my own set limits.
Please remember this when talking about those with IMPAIRMENTS, they are NOT DISABLING, it is society that disables people not our bodies or minds.
edited to my original question then and a good point
My Right arm is, well, fairly trashed to be honest.
I've had two operations, one to release the posterial nerve.
2nd to repair the damage the first op did, remove internal scar tissue, release median nerve and relocate ligament. All Right forearm, still not sorted.
Am I disabled? Well I think I was when I was on Morphine Patches for pain.
(Because I was stoned and had constant migraines)
I now use no narcotic strength painkillers and will not bore you with a description of my latest options for painkilling.
I'm sick of "You mind that arm!"
The only person NEVER to say this to me (Except when I was climbing down a cliff whilst still wearing a pressure bandage from operation number one,) is Maddave.
Its been said to me almost every day since I was 13 and I've had, well, lots of birthdays since.
I've been told lots of folks would use my condition as an excuse to claim lots of benefit and sit on their bum all day taking said narcotic strength painkillers and the fact that I don't is a "breath of fresh air"
I work part time 30 hours a week on horrendous split shifts.
I lead a very full and happy life.
Yes there are times I push myself too far but that's MY choice.
I know my limits and am very good at ignoring them if I'm busy.
Work is being a bit of a pain because I want to go back to full time normal shifts they've panicked a bit.
It's taken 6 months to get HR to agree they couln't agree and send the paperwork on to Occupational Health.
I know a lot of this is down to them losing their "Token Disabled Person"
I guess this means I treat others as I would hope they will treat me, normally, without prejudice or any kind of discrimination. Positive or negative.
What I want is to be allowed to get on with life/work/fun/stuff.
SO why shouldn't we all get that option?
Anyone with any permanent or temporary health issues, mental or physical has the ability to choose how disabling or enabling those issues are.
I lost three years of my life to my disability, thats no ones fault but my own, and I'm certainly going to make up for it now!
J
I've had two operations, one to release the posterial nerve.
2nd to repair the damage the first op did, remove internal scar tissue, release median nerve and relocate ligament. All Right forearm, still not sorted.
Am I disabled? Well I think I was when I was on Morphine Patches for pain.
(Because I was stoned and had constant migraines)
I now use no narcotic strength painkillers and will not bore you with a description of my latest options for painkilling.
I'm sick of "You mind that arm!"
The only person NEVER to say this to me (Except when I was climbing down a cliff whilst still wearing a pressure bandage from operation number one,) is Maddave.
Its been said to me almost every day since I was 13 and I've had, well, lots of birthdays since.
I've been told lots of folks would use my condition as an excuse to claim lots of benefit and sit on their bum all day taking said narcotic strength painkillers and the fact that I don't is a "breath of fresh air"
I work part time 30 hours a week on horrendous split shifts.
I lead a very full and happy life.
Yes there are times I push myself too far but that's MY choice.
I know my limits and am very good at ignoring them if I'm busy.
Work is being a bit of a pain because I want to go back to full time normal shifts they've panicked a bit.
It's taken 6 months to get HR to agree they couln't agree and send the paperwork on to Occupational Health.
I know a lot of this is down to them losing their "Token Disabled Person"
I guess this means I treat others as I would hope they will treat me, normally, without prejudice or any kind of discrimination. Positive or negative.
What I want is to be allowed to get on with life/work/fun/stuff.
SO why shouldn't we all get that option?
Anyone with any permanent or temporary health issues, mental or physical has the ability to choose how disabling or enabling those issues are.
I lost three years of my life to my disability, thats no ones fault but my own, and I'm certainly going to make up for it now!
J
Like many others here I have Asperger's and am new to the forum. Having read though this topic, I am very encouraged that not only am I not alone here but I have found no post that I find offensive or intolerant towards those with difficulties. Not something I have come to expect with so many people involved. I thank you all.
w00dsmoke, it would appear to me that in your effort to make you personal preferences known, you would seem to have made the same mistake in including all condition related difficulties in the same category. I realise that you do not consider yourself disabled (and I'm not saying you are, because only you can determine that and have obviously determined that you are not), nor would you assume that anyone with an impairment is disabled. This is a good thing and I applaud this outlook. I also agree that many apparent disabilities are socially connected.
There are many impairments that are so, well impairing, that they completely disable someone from doing something (through no choice or their own) that another person without the impairment would be able to do, society notwithstanding. Some disabilities can be overcome, some can not.
My point is that we should not try and correct the mistake of putting all disabilities or impairments into the same box by simply putting them all into another box. This is counterproductive to say the least.
While you find the term "disabled" insulting or troubling, others (including myself) find terms such as "impaired" or "differently abled", insulting or troubling. But, because there are so many people with these problems and conditions, there is no way to reasonably describe such a group of people in once sentence. Therefore I consider these terms to be merely shorthand used by everyone regardless of ability to mean those who have particular difficulties in everyday life and not to be taken personally. If we are so concerned, then we must ask everyone with a condition or serious injury, how they wish their difficulties referred to on a case by case basis. While this is fine on a personal level, it is simply not viable in a large group or discussion.
This is however such a complicated and diverse topic that I will keep it relativity simple and leave it at that. Or I will go on forever.
w00dsmoke, it would appear to me that in your effort to make you personal preferences known, you would seem to have made the same mistake in including all condition related difficulties in the same category. I realise that you do not consider yourself disabled (and I'm not saying you are, because only you can determine that and have obviously determined that you are not), nor would you assume that anyone with an impairment is disabled. This is a good thing and I applaud this outlook. I also agree that many apparent disabilities are socially connected.
There are many impairments that are so, well impairing, that they completely disable someone from doing something (through no choice or their own) that another person without the impairment would be able to do, society notwithstanding. Some disabilities can be overcome, some can not.
My point is that we should not try and correct the mistake of putting all disabilities or impairments into the same box by simply putting them all into another box. This is counterproductive to say the least.
While you find the term "disabled" insulting or troubling, others (including myself) find terms such as "impaired" or "differently abled", insulting or troubling. But, because there are so many people with these problems and conditions, there is no way to reasonably describe such a group of people in once sentence. Therefore I consider these terms to be merely shorthand used by everyone regardless of ability to mean those who have particular difficulties in everyday life and not to be taken personally. If we are so concerned, then we must ask everyone with a condition or serious injury, how they wish their difficulties referred to on a case by case basis. While this is fine on a personal level, it is simply not viable in a large group or discussion.
This is however such a complicated and diverse topic that I will keep it relativity simple and leave it at that. Or I will go on forever.
Great question, BigBeast.
I've learnt a huge amount on this topic from a couple of members on here and have been fortunate enough to be able to question how I see the world. Having said that, over the last few years I have become very open to new thoughts and ways of approaching life.
I don't see people as disabled, impaired or handicapped; I just see people. Sometimes I see others and feel lucky I have what I have yet I never see others and wish I had what they have. In all cases, I try and understand how I can help others. That sounds really twee but it is a lifestyle choice that has made me much happier.
There is a darker side though that this brings forth; people can be difficult, unsociable or just downright nasty regardless of whether they are "impaired" or not and there is no excuse. You may be in a wheelchair for life but because I see through that, I also see that it doesn't give you any right to be angry with life or angry with others because of it. I am as intolerant of this as I am of people who drop litter, don't clean up after their dog or otherwise act in an anti-social manner.
I see you as a person regardless of your physical or mental status which means there are no excuses because of it. I'll help everyone if I feel I can but if you are impaired and angry at the world, don't take it out on me because I hold the door open for you; accept that I would do it for anyone and you aren't any more deserving than they are.
I've learnt a huge amount on this topic from a couple of members on here and have been fortunate enough to be able to question how I see the world. Having said that, over the last few years I have become very open to new thoughts and ways of approaching life.
I don't see people as disabled, impaired or handicapped; I just see people. Sometimes I see others and feel lucky I have what I have yet I never see others and wish I had what they have. In all cases, I try and understand how I can help others. That sounds really twee but it is a lifestyle choice that has made me much happier.
There is a darker side though that this brings forth; people can be difficult, unsociable or just downright nasty regardless of whether they are "impaired" or not and there is no excuse. You may be in a wheelchair for life but because I see through that, I also see that it doesn't give you any right to be angry with life or angry with others because of it. I am as intolerant of this as I am of people who drop litter, don't clean up after their dog or otherwise act in an anti-social manner.
I see you as a person regardless of your physical or mental status which means there are no excuses because of it. I'll help everyone if I feel I can but if you are impaired and angry at the world, don't take it out on me because I hold the door open for you; accept that I would do it for anyone and you aren't any more deserving than they are.
A very good reply and one I agree with 100%. I've seen too often people with difficulties try and use them as a badge of immunity and that really pees me off.
Well put Tripi!
I try to treat everyone the same - but there are people with "attitude" from all parts of the comunity.
The guys I work with have notable physical and other disabilities and the person from whom they have the biggest hassle is also (but not as severely) disabled!
Nearly all the "norms" they meet treat the guys with respect and friendliness
Wierd World.
I try to treat everyone the same - but there are people with "attitude" from all parts of the comunity.
The guys I work with have notable physical and other disabilities and the person from whom they have the biggest hassle is also (but not as severely) disabled!
Nearly all the "norms" they meet treat the guys with respect and friendliness
Wierd World.
Having had experience family wise of disablement/impairment (whatever you'd like to call it), i've got this to say.
I don't care if you have 3 legs or no legs, one arm, 2 heads, shout random words, one arm or no arms, a limp, braces, brackets, pins, plates, or suffer anything.
You are you, i will speak to you as i would anyone, you won't get treated differently or preferential treatment or ignored.
If you want to be treated in a certain way then i will if you want to climb that tree or insist on getting into a hammock when it's difficult then i'll help and then laugh if you fall out - because i would anyone else.
I suffer arthritis in both knees, right side of my hip, left shoulder and right hand and i've twisted my sciatica twice i suffer OCD and i'm bipolar (took me a while to figure that one out). Not the bone swelling gnarly kind, but the kind that lets you know when it's cold and lets you know with white pain. I'm in the TA and ask for nothing and give everything (hell i even beat folk half my age during pre basic without whinging and in major pain)
I take my hat off to any of you that get off your bum and do things and not wallow, you're all heroes and i'd be glad to sit around a campfire with any of you.
I don't care if you have 3 legs or no legs, one arm, 2 heads, shout random words, one arm or no arms, a limp, braces, brackets, pins, plates, or suffer anything.
You are you, i will speak to you as i would anyone, you won't get treated differently or preferential treatment or ignored.
If you want to be treated in a certain way then i will if you want to climb that tree or insist on getting into a hammock when it's difficult then i'll help and then laugh if you fall out - because i would anyone else.
I suffer arthritis in both knees, right side of my hip, left shoulder and right hand and i've twisted my sciatica twice i suffer OCD and i'm bipolar (took me a while to figure that one out). Not the bone swelling gnarly kind, but the kind that lets you know when it's cold and lets you know with white pain. I'm in the TA and ask for nothing and give everything (hell i even beat folk half my age during pre basic without whinging and in major pain)
I take my hat off to any of you that get off your bum and do things and not wallow, you're all heroes and i'd be glad to sit around a campfire with any of you.
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