What makes one a gentleman?

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Osprey

Forager
Nov 21, 2006
211
3
64
Aberdeenshire
My uncle used to tell me that a gentleman should always carry:
a pocket knife,
a clean ironed handkerchief,
a spare £10 note
and a condom !!

Bit like a boy scout really !
 

Biker

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
A gentleman is someone who doesn't fart under the duvet, then hold his wife's head under it.

Seriously though, it's a fine line really - Act like a gentleman and risk being taken advantage of you 24/7 for your good nature and polite "no, you first please." attitude.

Or

Act the total ar$e and be thought of as a go getter and someone filled with confidence who gets the promotion.

Bit of a fluid subject, but I agree with what Tadpole said above. You don't act the gentleman, you just are

I like tothink of myself as a gentleman, pretty much all the people here I think are gentlemen (Ladies included) it shows in the way you have respect for each other.

Biker
 

Melonfish

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 8, 2009
2,460
1
Warrington, UK
Simple courtesy to people is never out of fashion. Folk like other folk to be nice to them.

The simple act of holding open a door for someone goes a long way regardless of gender or PC I find...

Don't get me wrong, i'm on about the definition of a gentlemen, what you describe here is simply manners and i'm sure we all had that drilled into us as children because as we all know manners cost nothing :)
i simply mean that we have to look for a new definition of ourselves, granted the idea of being a "Gentleman" is inherently a British ideal on how civilised and refined we are/were i'm simply stating that now we rightly recognise all people as equal (or at least should) perhaps we should be changing definitions of ourselves and perhaps that may go some way to curing the issues of ageism, racism and sexism.
although i must say there are some female friends i have that if i held a door open for them they'd have a go at me for being sexist and use the term "Gentleman" like a curse word on women's rights ;)
 

bojit

Native
Aug 7, 2010
1,173
0
56
Edinburgh
This being a bushcraft site ,how about the gentleman of the woods.

Do we not strive to do the best for ourselves and the enviroment , not poluting or destroying your surroundings
tidy up after yourself and even after others (the mucky pups).
How often have you been to a meet and the people are so nice and helpfull , feeding others and lending kit to those without.

Craig...............
 

Tadpole

Full Member
Nov 12, 2005
2,842
21
59
Bristol
i simply mean that we have to look for a new definition of ourselves, granted the idea of being a "Gentleman" is inherently a British ideal on how civilised and refined we are/were i'm simply stating that now we rightly recognise all people as equal (or at least should) perhaps we should be changing definitions of ourselves and perhaps that may go some way to curing the issues of ageism, racism and sexism.
although i must say there are some female friends i have that if i held a door open for them they'd have a go at me for being sexist and use the term "Gentleman" like a curse word on women's rights ;)
I don’t think all people are equal, some are better than others, some much worse, and should be treated as such. However, I treat everyone the same until I know better, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong, then I treat them accordingly, good or bad.
To post a quote from another board “I am not holding the door open for you because you are a woman. I am holding it open because I am a gentleman.”
 

korvin karbon

Native
Jul 12, 2008
1,022
0
Fife
what makes a gentleman should never change, but it does and is. The term benevolent sexism is now replacing chivalry. I was on a date a few days ago and got complained at because I walked on outside, opened doors. Funnily enough there was not really much effort in paying for some of the meal!!!
 

ex-member Raikey

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Sep 4, 2010
2,971
3
i was once called a gentleman, and told, ,....

A gentleman is a man who instictivley makes the people in his enviroment feel at ease.
 
In my view a Gentleman is Someone who is polite,

Humble,

Does things because they need doing and doesnt expect praise for doing them( something most people i know dont do),

Does the Right thing even if that isn't the easiest or most popular thing to do,

Doesnt loose their temper at the slightest cause,

Doesn't habour a grudge.

Has respect for themselves and others,

Is aware of personal faults and attempts to remove the faults

Doesn't participate in bickering, snide gossip or malicious rumour spreading,

Can express themselves without resorting to foul language, i am not anti swearing per se but i worked for a brickie and every other word was a swear word eg pass me the f****** hammer i need to f******** take this ******* brick down now you ***** not exactly a wide vocabulary is it?

Isn't afraid of offending people by doing the above or other peoples opinions of them,

the last one is strange one i know but i have personally had a few occassions in my life where doing the right thing has upset or offended people,
for example i once saw bad practice in a home i was working in followed the whistleblowing policy and life suddenly became very awkward for me at work as the confidentiality of the policy was er shall we say ignored however knowing that i had done the right thing when many others had either looked the other way or not questioned what was happening i just ignored it carried on and got a new job.

Nowadays yob culture seems to be the acceptable way of young men to behave(and young women) but in my humble opinion being a gentleman is needed much more now than before when financial strength automatically made someone a 'Gent'
 
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Graham_S

Squirrely!
Feb 27, 2005
4,041
65
50
Saudi Arabia
The mark of a Gentleman?
Getting up before your wife when camping in Feb to light the stove in the lavvu so it's warm before she has to get out of her sleeping bag, and making her a cup of tea for while she waits..
 

Andy T

Settler
Sep 8, 2010
899
27
Stoke on Trent.
A gentleman is the one who doesn't come home drunk at 3 in the morning, covered in love bites, and saying to his wife as he smacks her backside, ok fatty you're next .......:p
 

Paul_B

Bushcrafter through and through
Jul 14, 2008
6,186
1,557
Cumbria
Some would say if you have to ask you are not one!

I don't know what a gentleman really is but I just try to treat people with respect and hope that is enough.

BTW I always put the toilet seat down and the lid as well at home. I do have my own place and for now live alone so why do I do it?

I do have two or more sides to me though. Depending on who I am with I will be a gentleman or a scoundral or a foul mouthed wastrel! Sorry using old fashioned words. Perhaps gentleman is one of them too!! I have been described as a gentleman and charming and other similar positive descriptions. I am not like that all the time though. If the lass I'm with is a lady I will more than likely be a gentleman around her, a few exceptions being two close female friends who I like to wind up as they are a little prim and proper. One of them is now starting ot swear like a trooper (is that a success?) and the other is still at the stage of telling me off. Not gone to the hitting me stage yet.

I do think in these modern times men are likely to be gentlemanly and ungentlemanly depending on circumstances.

Being a gentleman in my book is not about door opening, cape on the puddle sort of thing but more about respecting people. If you are polite, helpful and pleasant in your demeanour then perhaps you are halfway there. The other half is probably in you instinctively or not. That is probably the part the original poster had difficulty working out. I guess that is all in the perception of the person judging you too. I might think you a gentleman but your best mate might not or your partner thinks you are but yoursister doesn't. Part of that is how you act differently to some people and not to others.

BTW don't listen to me as I talk nonesense.
 
Oct 5, 2009
422
0
Sheffield
This is actually quite an insightful thread but I can't help throwing in this little gem:

"A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but chooses not to"

Knowing a few myself and having sat through early practice seasons it always raises a smile.
 

No Idea

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Sep 18, 2010
2,420
0
Dorset
Gentleman....Hmmm.....

That word always reminds me of James Bond.

Not sure he fits many of the atributes listed above though lol.
 

dave53

On a new journey
Jan 30, 2010
2,993
11
70
wales
i tend to agree with most of what has been said on this subject i was taught by my parents how to behave in public and private and to consider other people when doing anything when i was younger an older gentleman came up to the group i was with and was very rude my reply to him was this (please dont let your age be an excuse for ignorance)i try to liv e by that philosophy regards dave
 

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