Stoopid jokes

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Goatboy

Full Member
Jan 31, 2005
14,956
10
Scotland
Don't know if you've seen this? Made me laugh.

[video=youtube;EuiPmrOYkKM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuiPmrOYkKM[/video]
 

Goatboy

Full Member
Jan 31, 2005
14,956
10
Scotland
My precocious 14 year old nephew went into the local off-licence and asked for a bottle of gin and 20 Marlboro.

"Are you wanting to get me into trouble?" asked the girl behind the counter.

He replied, "No, no - just the booze and ciggies will do for now, but maybe later."
 
I did laugh at this one!



The Sensuous (and Smart A$$) Wife


"Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"...the woman
asked her husband.


"No"...said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her

blouse...and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft,
silky push-up bra...and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her ...and smiled approvingly.

"Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"... she then asked her
husband?


"Uh...no, I haven't" ...he said (with an anxious tone in his voice).

She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively

reached into her panties... and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill... and started breathing a little

quicker with anticipation.

"Now" ...she said. "Have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way" ...he said (while obviously becoming even more aroused... and
excited).



"Well go look in the garage!"...she said.
 

santaman2000

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Jan 15, 2011
16,410
883
63
Florida
There were three brothers from New York who had a triple wedding:

The first married a Valley girl from California. After their honeymoon he told her, "When I get home from work I expect the house to be cleaned, supper on the table, and for you to be dressed seductively." That night whenHe got home he didn't see any of the things he'd instructed her to do so he sat her down and had a long talk with her about her duties. The next day when he got home supper was ready and by the second day she'd also been able to clean the house. By the end of the week he came home and she had been able to completely accomplish all of his instructions.

The second brother married a spoiled, rich girl from New Jersey and gave his wife similar instructions; but she was more stubborn. It took him over a week just to get her to clean the house and a month to learn how to even scramble eggs. But at the end of six months she'd also been able to accomplish all the instructions.

The last brother married a Cajun girl from Louisiana. After the honeymoon he sat her down and told her, "When I get home from work I expect to see the house cleaned, supper on the table, and you dressed seductively." The first day he didn't see anything. The second day he still didn't see anything. But by the third day, the swelling in his left eye had gone down some and he could see just a little. Doctors say he should be out of the body cast in a few weeks.