My wife doesn't understand me...

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Sniper

Native
Aug 3, 2008
1,431
0
Saltcoats, Ayrshire
My mate said to me one night "You know mate.....my wife's an angel"
"your lucky I replied"........."Mine is still alive"

Looks over shoulder to check where she is oooouuuccchhhh close enough to read this.
 

red devil

Forager
Dec 1, 2010
114
0
South of Glasgow
There is a simple rebuttal series of questions that worked well on my ex wife

1) How many pairs of shoes do you actually need?

2) Why do you buy all that expensive goop to smear on your face when it clearly doesn't work?

3) When you dye your hair, do you actually think you are fooling anyone?

and my favourite

4) ...shouldn't it be up to the person who earned the money?


I don't miss her at all ;)

Oh I like those.. they'll work a treat.
Anyone know the number of a decent divorce lawyer? I'm gonna need one :eek:
 

lannyman8

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 18, 2009
4,005
3
Dark side of the Moon
my wife says she understands me exactly, and she knows why i do what i do, and its because im Chris, and if i did not do these thing i would not be me, and it would be "weird".........

i dont tend to buy much kit but make what i can with bits and bobs, also i tend to, "store" thing i may "need" at some point, and as my wife has just said it really does get on her t***.......

...........lol.............

just get on with it lifes to short.........

chris............................................
 

British Red

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Dec 30, 2005
26,718
1,964
Mercia
Oh be fair Toddy - stupid shoes that provide no protection or insulation, endless gunk wrapped in pseudo science at exorbitant prices that doesn't work and other "vanity products"! Hardly a basis for a criticism of profligacy is it?

Anyway I think the one that did it was "no matter how much money you spend, you will never look as good as your daughter does- and she doesn't have to smear all that stuff on" :lmao:
 

tobes01

Full Member
May 4, 2009
1,902
45
Hampshire
Oddly my lovely, beautiful and understanding wife is all for the bushcraft thing, even if I am a complete kit queen. She seems to recognise that if my mid-life crisis comprises a hankering to hang around in the woods then that's got to be better than the porsche/mistress/resignation/move that has characterised this time for some other 40-somethings we know...
 

Ogri the trog

Mod
Mod
Apr 29, 2005
7,182
71
60
Mid Wales UK
My mate said to me one night "You know mate.....my wife's an angel"
"your lucky I replied"........."Mine is still alive"

Looks over shoulder to check where she is oooouuuccchhhh close enough to read this.

Now that is worthy of repeating!

Nice one Sniper

Ogri the trog
 

bojit

Native
Aug 7, 2010
1,173
0
56
Edinburgh
I said to mine , that women wear makeup and perfume because they
are ugly and they smell !

Still happily married after 15 years , she took it as the joke it was ment to be .

she asked for an eternity ring for our 10th anniversary, so i said when it felt like an eternity
she would get a ring .

Craig..............
 
Brilliant! Chuckled alot at all the parallel conversations we all share!

"what's that youve been making for the past two months hun?".."An Underquilt for my Hammock sweaty!".. "ow..that's nice hun! I remember you saying you was going to by one for £75 a while back.. so that's good I soppose, bet you saved a few pounds there aye?!".. .. "er.. Well not quite!.. You see it started off cheaper.. Until I realised I didn't have enough goose down!.. and the only place I could get some was Germany and it's expensive.. and I needed some more bits and.." .. "So how much has it all cost then?" .. "er.. about £126 .. 47p!!" .. "So two months work and almost twice the price?!!" .. "er ye but.. You see.. It's the making of it, the craft.. er the enjoyment of creating something beautiful!!" .. "It's a green bit of material!" .. "but it's better, thicker, warmer!" .. "have you ever used the ready made cheaper one?" .. "no".......!!
 

lannyman8

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 18, 2009
4,005
3
Dark side of the Moon
she asked for an eternity ring for our 10th anniversary, so i said when it felt like an eternity
she would get a ring .

Craig..............[/QUOTE]

awesome......... priceless........

lmfao.............

chris..............
 

British Red

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Dec 30, 2005
26,718
1,964
Mercia
Yeah but those shotgun cartridges really eat into the pot pourri and knick knack budget you know :)
 

red devil

Forager
Dec 1, 2010
114
0
South of Glasgow
Brilliant! Chuckled alot at all the parallel conversations we all share!

"what's that youve been making for the past two months hun?".."An Underquilt for my Hammock sweaty!".. "ow..that's nice hun! I remember you saying you was going to by one for £75 a while back.. so that's good I soppose, bet you saved a few pounds there aye?!".. .. "er.. Well not quite!.. You see it started off cheaper.. Until I realised I didn't have enough goose down!.. and the only place I could get some was Germany and it's expensive.. and I needed some more bits and.." .. "So how much has it all cost then?" .. "er.. about £126 .. 47p!!" .. "So two months work and almost twice the price?!!" .. "er ye but.. You see.. It's the making of it, the craft.. er the enjoyment of creating something beautiful!!" .. "It's a green bit of material!" .. "but it's better, thicker, warmer!" .. "have you ever used the ready made cheaper one?" .. "no".......!!

Magic, we could be long-lost brothers. Laughed my @ss off at that!

PS Really nice blog, Wolfcrafter - gonna enjoy reading your stuff.
 
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Bushcraftsman

Native
Apr 12, 2008
1,368
5
Derbyshire
There is a simple rebuttal series of questions that worked well on my ex wife

1) How many pairs of shoes do you actually need?

2) Why do you buy all that expensive goop to smear on your face when it clearly doesn't work?

3) When you dye your hair, do you actually think you are fooling anyone?

and my favourite

4) ...shouldn't it be up to the person who earned the money?


I don't miss her at all ;)


that is brilliant!! brought a tear to my eye with laughter...bet she loved you to pieces after saying those ;) especially No 2
 

filcon

"Neo-eisimeileachd ALBA"
Dec 1, 2005
846
0
63
Strathclyde
Mid life crisis I,d recommend it.
She who must be obeyed, Mrs Neverwrong, the oracle with the last word. You are just a person with wallet bearing thighs, a verbal punchbag with an opinion when allowed. Own up you could never be right put your hand up plead guilty your a man for god,s sake. Say sorry, before they start go for a lenient sentence.
We,ve all been there, then one day , it was my 50th you see the light.

Retired after 32 years from the fire service, a 50 year old . Now going to stay at home doing the housework, cardigan, slippers, gardening and making the wifes dinner.
Aye right, reality is campervan zooming aboot Scotland,7 tattoos since june, mohawk haircut, aye and a bloody big chopper bike to top it off. My daughter a lawyer soon and wife worried sick about my mid life crisis.Thoroughly recommend it because now they now whisper and are terrified I might get a chip pan and electric blanket.
 
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