Gents...why ?

[santaman2000]

When a woman says, "Go ahead." It's not permission; it's a dare.
If you ask, "What's wrong" and she says, "Nothing." Something is wrong.
If she says, "Fine." Expect trouble.
If she says, "That's alright." Sleep sonewhere else for a few weeks.

And lastly, NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! agravate a creature that can bleed for a week without dying. It's EVIL I tell you!

 

[Llwyd]

"Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female."
Desmond Morris

 

[Goatboy]

I don't know what you're all talking about.
When my partner gets argumentative all I have to do is say in a calm measured voice: "Come on luv, calm down."
And the argument ends - Mainly because I can't hear into the phonic range that her voice takes on mind...

 

[santaman2000]

LOL. And remember; telling a drunk woman to calm down works about as well as baptising a cat.

 

[British Red]

And the argument ends - Mainly because I can't hear into the phonic range that her voice takes on mind...

I have in the past use the phrase "only dogs can hear you now"

The effect is hilarious

 

[Goatboy]

Son: "Dad I'm afraid I don't understand girls."

Dad: "Son do you understand how the television works?"

Son: "No, not really bar the basics."

Dad: "Well there you go, just enjoy them both son, the basics are all you need."

 

[mousey]

Hmmm I'm slightly worried as I have more than three pairs of shoes:-

1 pair I got married in and only come out at funerals and other weddings.
1 pair welly boots for snow and really mucky stuff
1 old pair walking boots for dossing & up the allotment
1 new[ish] pair walking boots for ..... walking
1 pair smart[ish] work/ office shoes.

Unfortunatley at anyone time at least one pair has dog poo on them

 

[John Fenna]

What is it that you guys are doing wrong?
I have been married to the same woman for 33 trouble free years.
She does my cooking, cleaning, decorating, typing, accounts, gardening, wood-sawing, shopping, proof-reading etc
She is the primary wage earner, does the driving when we go out and is always cheerful!
I have unlimitted passes-out for all my bushy and canoeing needs, she watches the rugby with me (and understands most of the rules!) and even fetches the beer from the kitchen!
She wears and is interested in NO jewelery, has no interest in Fashion or shoes or even little nick-nacks to clutter the house and take up knife display space.

She likes it when I carve her gifts for Valentines prezzies.
The only difficult bit is buying her Xmas and Birthday prezzies as she says she does not need anything!

Did I get the only one of these paragons in existance?
Lucky me!

 

[mousey]

I have all that as well John


but then I wake up......

 

[BJJJ]

I have in the past use the phrase "only dogs can hear you now"

The effect is hilarious

Iv'e just choked on my coffee

 

[wicca]

A bit of forward planning helps too. My wife was a Geordie ( a proper one born in the shadow of Vickers, Scotswood Road. . ) When she got in a temper the language barrier completely broke down and I never knew what she was saying anyway..So I just shut up.

 

[Swallow]

"Men are at a complete disadvantage in an argument. Because for a man the argument has to make sense", Chris Rock.

 

[dwardo]

Women seem to use emotion and feeling when they communicate, men simply dont understand.
My missus uses riddles and expects me to decipher them rather than just telling me what's wrong or what she wants.

I think the similarities in our species end at biology.

 

[santaman2000]

Women seem to use emotion and feeling when they communicate, men simply dont understand.......

That's because we only have two emotions:
1. Hungry---in which case she gives me a sandwich
2. randy----in wich case she gives me a XXXXXX

 

[leon-1]

Well they do say that

"Men are from Mars and Women from Venus"

Which I suppose is similar to

"Dogs are from Pluto and Cats are from Uranus"

 

[Nic 1084]

I am al;so lucky in that the current wife understands me and puts up with me......
(posted as my wife reads this and is a member)






hopefully she will have given up reading this now, cos the truth is......

 

[Llwyd]

See I just bought my wife from a Russian Submarine captain that came up the Bay of Fundy so I don't have these problems. A good deal too... I got her, a low yield nuclear war head, a Kalashnikov rifle, and two cases of Vodka for a fashionable pair of sun glasses, a dozen Tim Horton's Boston creme donuts, 15 gallons of hydraulic fluid and $9.86 worth of Canadian Tire money.

I miss the Cold War.

 

[Harvestman]

Once after a trip away, I brought my wife back a present - a handful of brightly coloured pebbles that I had collected for her from a shingle beach. She liked them very much, and put them with her small collection of semi-precious stones.

"But you only get away with that one once" was her only comment.

 

[British Red]

I got her, a low yield nuclear war head, a Kalashnikov rifle, and two cases of Vodka .

Now thats what I call wife swapping!

Do you have a picture?









(of the rifle)

 

[Swallow]

I've heard women explore width and men explore depth (no euphemism intended) another way of putting that I guess women explore the relationship between things (what needs to be done) and men the detail of how to get them done.