Yorkshire Day

[HillBill]

Well as its Yorkshire day today.......

Proud to be a Yorkshireman.

God was bored and went missing for six days. The Archangel Gabriel found him resting on the seventh day.

"What have You been up to?" he said.

"I've created the planet Earth and it will be a place of great balance."

"Balance?" said Gabriel.

God explained.

North America would be wealthy and South America would be poor.

"Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there a continent of black people."

God talked of different countries.

"That one will be hot and that one will be covered with ice."
Gabriel was impressed and pointed to an area in England and said:

"What's that?"

"Ah," said God.

"That is Yorkshire, the most glorious place on Earth. There will be beautiful lakes, streams, rivers and hills, great music, architecture, and sporting giants. The people from Yorkshire will be modest, intelligent and witty. They will be sociable, hard working and high achievers. They will be known throughout the world as diplomats and peace-makers."

Gabriel gasped in admiration, thought for a moment, and said: "But what about balance, God? You said there will be balance."

"Ah," said God, nodding sagely, "let me tell you about Lancashire..."

 

[dave53]

excellent hillbill regards dave

 

[petrochemicals]

from "Vicars Telling Jokes" on channel 4.

An insurance broker starting the check all of the Churches buildings walks into a church in Glascow. He's looking around and see's a golden telephone on the wall with a sign saying " £50,000 a call". He looks round and catches the Vicar's attention.

"£50,000 a call ?!" exclaims the insurance broker

"yes" says the vicar whilst bowing and giving a blessing "It's a direct line to god."

"You mean it's directly to god, and for £50,000 even I could talk to him ?" cries our insurance man

"Yes" says the vicar "now please keep your voice down"

'right' Thinks the insurance man and carries on. As he travels from church to church all over Scotland, he see the same golden telephone, offering direct contact with the devine in every church he visits. Eventually he has completed Scotland and finds himself in York minster, a huge grand Cathedral. On the wall he spies the same golden telephone, and a sign saying '£4.50 a call'. 'Strange' he thinks 'can't be right' and harangs the next vicar he see's.

"£4.50 for a call to god ?!" says the insurer

the vicar "'ay lad, your in Yorkshire now, so it's a local call see "

 

[Albus Culter]

Happy Yorkshire day to all

Love both those jokes

Made me smile

 

[Lou]

Ahh, my dad, god bless his soul was a Yorkshireman through and through, he even played cricket for the county 'once' a long long time ago. Nice to remember him today.

 

[tartanferret]

Happy Yorkshire Day !!

From Tarn (I live in Barnsley)

 

[resnikov]

Well as its Yorkshire day today.......

Proud to be a Yorkshireman.

God was bored and went missing for six days. The Archangel Gabriel found him resting on the seventh day.

"What have You been up to?" he said.

"I've created the planet Earth and it will be a place of great balance."

"Balance?" said Gabriel.

God explained.

North America would be wealthy and South America would be poor.

"Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there a continent of black people."

God talked of different countries.

"That one will be hot and that one will be covered with ice."
Gabriel was impressed and pointed to an area in England and said:

"What's that?"

"Ah," said God.

"That is Yorkshire, the most glorious place on Earth. There will be beautiful lakes, streams, rivers and hills, great music, architecture, and sporting giants. The people from Yorkshire will be modest, intelligent and witty. They will be sociable, hard working and high achievers. They will be known throughout the world as diplomats and peace-makers."

Gabriel gasped in admiration, thought for a moment, and said: "But what about balance, God? You said there will be balance."

"Ah," said God, nodding sagely, "let me tell you about Lancashire..."

As a Lancastrian evangelist living in Yorkshire I could be offend by that

Funny, I have not been able to turn one Yorkshire man in to a Lancastrian, think it's because of the cover charge.