Mid Life Crisis question.

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Goatboy

Full Member
Jan 31, 2005
14,956
18
Scotland
No kids here either Dave. For me it was a conscious choice in line with my own little twisted belief system on if folks should have kids or not. I wouldn't push it on others but I do think more folk should think of not doing it. I have a bunch of ethical problems with the whole thing. Hasn't made me popular with some partners I'll admit, causing the break up of the most important one of my life. Must admit I've had the odd pang of guilt as when doing some family history I realised that I may have let them down. Biological imperative and all. That my little line of family dies with me after struggling and getting lucky through the ages. But you have to stick to what you believe.
Strangely few of my peers have bred either.
Like you I'll take my solace in dogs and friendship.
As to a meaning for everything I think be good to people and try not to have a negative impact on the planet and others. All I want to leave behind are good memories.

Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.
 

Toddy

Mod
Mod
Jan 21, 2005
39,133
4,810
S. Lanarkshire
I was twenty when I married, twenty one (and two days) when I had Son1, twenty two when I had Son2…..and my sons are both now much older than I was when I had them, and neither of them has children.
I'm a good Granny going to waste :D but I'll never tell them that, it's their life, their choice, not mine and not my place to nag or whine at them.

I think it's best to think of life as a journey. You hope you find good company along the way and a quiet, quick ending a long time in the future :D

The genetic imperative to breed is so much not a question for humanity now. We are overpopulated and so far have found no way to effectively colonise off world.

It is fairly estimated that our genetics are so well represented among our society that the choice to breed or not is moot.
Each to their own on that one.

Regrets; I loathe this damned disease that limits my life. I detest with every fibre of my being the constraints that I have to live with. It sounds so bloody innocuous; "The testing is pretty definitive. You have rheumatoid arthritis".
I can't change it, I can't stop it, I can't destroy it, I must just live with it. The worst bit is that my family and my friends have to live with me living with it too though. It's a bit of a b*gger.

On t'other hand. I live now. Now in the 21st century. I can talk to my brother, my son when he's travelling, on the other side of the world, as though they were just up the road. I can sit and converse with other people with an ease no other society has ever had. I can find information, resources, necessities, just at the click of a few buttons. We are incredibly fortunate really.

I reckon life's what you make of it, and contentment is a much under-rated great wealth.

atb,
M
 

Shewie

Mod
Dec 15, 2005
24,259
26
49
Yorkshire
No kids here either, it's just never interested us. We'll possibly regret it later in life but at least we'll have had a good time while we were young enough to enjoy it :)
 

Robbi

Banned
Mar 1, 2009
10,253
1,046
northern ireland
How many of you have figured out what it is you were put on this earth to do, or is it still as much of a mystery to you, as it is to me?

Dave, do not go down this road, my closest friend did and now he has to have weekly sessions on the couch, don't go there matey.
 

John Fenna

Lifetime Member & Maker
Oct 7, 2006
23,306
3,089
67
Pembrokeshire
My philosophy on life says that I am here to develop as a human/Spiritual being.
For me that now means finding my "inner peace" and trying to help others on their life's path.
We all have a path to tread, some harder than others.
We all have "free will" and "choice" and no right to judge others (on a deep level - I still shout at idiot drivers!) who are finding their way along their path...
 
Mar 26, 2015
99
0
Birmingham, UK
Yeh, I reckon that must be it. Im 42 and I dont have kids. I probably feel like Ive left it too late.

I fell guilty even saying that. Which is ridiculous.

Am I the only one without kids on here or what?! :(

Not at all. I'm 32, and I don't want kids. Never have (although I still get the annual Christmas speech from drunken relatives about how I 'just haven't made my mind up yet').

Kids are awesome, but life is not just about having them and raising them. Life is what you make of it, mate! You want to spend your nights reading about bushcraft, or camping, or watching Netflix? Do it. If it makes you happy, then it IS what you're meant to be doing :D
 

British Red

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Dec 30, 2005
26,888
2,141
Mercia
One child here and no more. A careful decision that sounds much like the thoughts that others have had. We think its socially responsible
 

Dave

Hill Dweller
Sep 17, 2003
6,019
11
Brigantia
Not at all. I'm 32, and I don't want kids. Never have (although I still get the annual Christmas speech from drunken relatives about how I 'just haven't made my mind up yet').

Kids are awesome, but life is not just about having them and raising them. Life is what you make of it, mate! You want to spend your nights reading about bushcraft, or camping, or watching Netflix? Do it. If it makes you happy, then it IS what you're meant to be doing :D

32?! Blimey from your photo you look about 18. No offence intended.
 
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Nov 29, 2004
7,808
26
Scotland
How many of you have figured out what it is you were put on this earth to do, or is it still as much of a mystery to you, as it is to me?

I had my mid-life crisis in my early forties (42ish) whereas others men my age were buying convertible cars and fast motorbikes I purchased a huge and very expensive computer. :)

I ended up giving it to a charity two years later.

My purpose here in this place and time is less of a mystery than it was when I was younger. ;)
 
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XRV John

Nomad
Jan 23, 2015
256
26
Scunthorpe
I started my family aged 40 and they have been the making of me. My longest relationship (third) is with my (now) wife and I have a 24 yr old stepson and our girls of 6 and 10. They are now asking to come bushcrafting and want a dirt bike so I will get to share my hobbies with them (and give mum a break from us all)

Now my life us focused on being a good husband and father and role model for my kids. Holding down a job to pay for us is next and then I have my hobbies

:D
 
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dewi

Full Member
May 26, 2015
2,647
13
Cheshire
I reckon we are here to have as many experiences and as much fun as possible. :D

Kids or not, both has its advantages/disadvantages... I have mates who I've known for years who haven't got kids and we wind each other up about it all the time. I do the whole "I've got 3 brewer uppers in the making" and my mates just generally laugh as they go off to the pub for the day :p

I sat on a couch for 6 months in my mid twenties, convinced my head would explode like something out of 'Scanners' (80's film reference again lol) and due to my medical complaint, it was a fair fear. I'd lost the use of my legs at that point, had little or no memory to mull over (can't remember its so long ago lol) and the lack of movement led to a small amount of weight gain (read I ballooned). I couldn't regret anything because I couldn't remember anything to regret, I didn't know I was sad because I didn't really know the difference between sad and happy (sounds weird I know) and being told I would need to either move house or alter my house for a wheel chair made me look around and wonder what life was supposed to be about.

I remember sitting there thinking that life was a little strange. I'd been told I was going to die that many times it had lost all meaning to me... what was the difference between life and death really?

Don't really remember fully how I discovered about people getting injured whilst skiing, but I did and I found their recovery tool... an electronic device that rehabilitated muscles. So I bought it, used it and got my legs moving... something the doctors said wasn't possible. Some exercise and a bit of grunting, my legs worked properly, I was physically okay so I decided... whatever was going to come was going to come. My memory eventually came back... few gaps, but what 40 year old remembers everything from their lives anyway? Doctors said my memory was unlikely to return... wrong again Doc! :D

Its turned out to be a bumpy decade and a half... wasn't quite ready for the roller coaster if I'm honest, but I have 3 great kids, a wife I adore and a home in a pretty village. Rebooted my career, although I'd like to try something else now, I want a new challenge... but its all a far cry from sitting on that couch and picking out which wheel chair would be the easiest to handle.

Sounds corny this, but I know what sadness feels like now... just refuse to feel it :D One life, live it like it matters... and from what I've read on here and the people I've met from here, there is so much more to experience.

Oooh... Forest Gump was right... life is just like a box of chocolates... you never know when you'll get one with alcohol in it :p

Now... where did I put that gin bottle? :lmao:
 

John Fenna

Lifetime Member & Maker
Oct 7, 2006
23,306
3,089
67
Pembrokeshire
I have not dared pass on my genes ... more like me:yikes:
D not get me wrong - I like kids ... but I like handing them back to their parents when they get too smelly/noisy/stroppy (and that is ALL up to age 18) or I get bored with their antics...
No kids for me= more time and share of my earnings for myself :)
 
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