Isn't *daft* great

[Toddy]

Unsure of the pronunciation of quiche, my neighbour's terribly polite 80ish year old mother happily announced that she and her gentleman friend had visited Marks and Spencer's and just had a little quickie for lunch



I'm probably going to have to Mod this one out, aren't I ? Would it pass the eight year old's test ???.......Hmmmm

cheers,
Toddy

 

[decorum]

..... quickie .....
I'm probably going to have to Mod this one out, aren't I ? Would it pass the eight year old's test ???.......Hmmmm

cheers,
Toddy

That seems to a common mistake locally to me - most usually said at the most inopportunate time and place. And as for asking for a Grangers foot wear product and forgetting the 'r' ...... Well, it tends to stop people in their tracks

 

[Chopper]

At a public re-enactment a Viking blacksmith known as Boj was belting away at an iron bar. A father with two young sons walked past and knowledgeably announced in a loud voice,
"That's no' right, they didnae have iron back then!"

Boj promptly replied, with every nuance of dry Scots sarcasm he could,

"Aye, they jist gaffa taped Christ tae the cross......."





cheers,
Toddy

They could have used No Nails !!

 

[Chris G]

On "Come Dine With Me" the other day the only vegitarian in the group said when discussing red meat "You can't digest it; it just stays in your intestines and purifies."

Cool!
Chris

 

[Matt.S]

During an archaeological dig:
"I found metal!"
"It's a stone, Grace."
"No it must be metal, it sounds like metal when I hit it with my trowel."

Same person:
"I could never eat a whole gazebo."

 

[MartiniDave]

By a software engineer in a project meeting a while back:-
"I knew it was a fixable problem... so I didn't bother."

Dave

 

[Christy]

Back in the days before every USA company had a franchise overhere:
DS and me walking in New York, looking for a bookstore called Forbidden Planet. Asking directions from a local policeman who told me:"It's just behind the footlocker." Me in all innocence: "But that's too small to have a complete building behind it innit?" Locker = one of those safe-storages for books like they have in schools (to me anyway).
DS rolling on the ground, gasping for breath and pointing out a flipping big store with a huge sign over the door saying Footlocker.
Why on earth I could think there'd be a little shoe-safe in the middle of the street... Must have been jetlag.

 

[rik_uk3]

One Welsh Valleys expression that always raises a smile for me is when I hear

"I'll be with you now in a minute later after"