Forward Planning

[No Idea]

Biggest...

Sleepover London, hammocks in wood+biig adventure, see a celeb? (er?), Fix tramplen, bike skating (er...), See mate in France, Bikes + hammocks, See girlfriend, Mate stayover, Dog sleeepover ( I sometimes babysit a lurcher I call stupid), Look after TANK (TANK - always in capitals, is the name of the yacht he is sort of building), See a waterfall, Go up a river, find a yacht trailer(he hasnt got one yet), go to car boot sale ( wasnt expecting this, but both have mentioned it), See another girl(teenager!), Learn how yacht works(sailing lessons?), Reminder - when bored, deal with TANK.

 

[No Idea]

Lol eel...

I was bored.

Cant finish it, so wont show it until I can.

And not in the middle of this either. lol

 

[No Idea]

The reason why the kids will help with this is they know there is a lot here they can gain.

This is where they tell me what they want to do, and where I start setting up what I need for it.

It took us nearly 4 hours to sort out our wish lists, to this point.

That was it for the day. We put it down and went visiting friends.

 

[dave53]

hi no idea all i can say is what a great dad you are regards dave

 

[No Idea]

My list was a bit more comprehensive.

Lessons in trapeezing ( a boat thing), fishing ( excuse for hammocking), biking, gym, home cooking more, bbqs, camping - bushcraft - possible moot?, swimming (need mroe practice to avoid drowning), betterboatshed, gazebo ( last one fell down a year ago), Sail around IOW (not cowes race lol), Stupid Idea, canoes (will cover that in the other thread, but planning happens here), Tank + trailer, Sailing lessons - kids, new boat build, Mountain?, Build something new, Sage accounting (Ive passed the accounting exams and half the payroll, just need to finish it), Social life, Scotland?, build land rover, fix house, Dinghy show London....

Having done them, we swapped lists and either initialled or put a cross beside what was on each others lists.

They crossed out windsurfing and dinghy sailing lessons.

Astonishing as I really thought they loved them.

Thats just saved me best part of £200, and stopped me inflicting something they really dont want.

 

[georann]

Great thread, great idea (just thought Id post so I get the updates to keep on reading!)

 

[Stew]

A nice read. Thanks.

I see a lot of worth in what you're doing.

 

[No Idea]

Hi Dave

Thank you.

Er.... Good?

Im happy to go play with all these things. I get bored easy, but this is as much for me as them.

This is the heart of it.

I will do my best to make sure my kids get to do all the things that are on their lists that suit me.

As they are getting most of what they want, and have proof at the end of the year as to what a lovely time they have, they will do whatever I need them to do in order to have that lovely time.

Now....

There is no way I could possibly manage to run this place, spend my time organising activities, and making sure it all works, if I have to do it all.

Not possible.

Therefore....

I arrange for the kit they need when they need it.

They take responsibility for their stuff, their space, and their mess.

They also take control of a large part of the housework and general building etc, that we need to do to meet their wishes.

 

[Tengu]

Why do you puit up with your wife?

Anyone drink in my house and they get kicked out

 

[No Idea]

I took several months about 6 years ago and taught the kids how to tidy their rooms.

You start in one corner.

You put away each thing as you reach it, or push it along in front of you.

When you reach the door, you have a pile of dirty clothes, rubbish and bits to go elsewhere. This is a life skill we all need.

They can both clear their rooms from looking bombed in under 15 minutes. They clear each others rooms as otherwise their toys suck them in. Littlests toys dont engross the biggests, so he can clear it without distraction, if that makes more sense.

Little one clears the lounge and halls, and mows grass. Biggest hoovers and empties the rubbish out of the car.

I need the kitchen clean - believe it or not lol, and I also do the bathroom.

This means that we can clean the whole house in under 2 hours and do so once a week.

We have a major purge at the begining of each holiday as well.

Here we go outside, and walk through the house and work out if its how we would like ti to be when our friends visit. Then we get it to match our requirements. The kids are in this. They decide how they think it should be and then go make it happen.

Housework is done without loading me, leaving me with more time for what they want me to do.

 

[No Idea]

Cooking.....

I used to get the kids to help with the cooking, until they reached the stage (when they were each about 5), wherer they could cook a roast dinner for the whole family, as well as snacks, and a variety of food.

Now, sometimes I cook, or somethimes, if Im busy, I nominate one of them to cook. They tell me what they want me to buy for them to cook, I choke down steak pie and curried custard, or whatever other culinary masterpiece they come up with.

Again, if im busy, they will care for me/us and leave my time free.

 

[No Idea]

Kit.

We have aspare bedroom. Sort of.

You wouldnt actually be able to sleep in it.

Its where we keep our kit.

We have place for our swimming, boating, hammocking, windsurfing, biking, gym stuff in there, and all our spare stuff, inc extra bags, trunks, towels, boots, shovels, anchors, in fact, I stock it with whatever I think we may need when its on special offer.

For example, having read their lists, I will now be increasing my stocks of nails, stainless screws and fibreglass, in anticipation of canoe and TANK building during the spring.

I will pick up any kit that I think I might need for a possible Moot, expedition down that river, up the mountain, whatever turns out to be possible.

 

[No Idea]

This forward planning is why I broke a drill on a chocolate pot a few hours ago. Having a pretty hobo each at a moot would be sensible. If I havent built one, I cant teach the kids how.

My stock will now include more drill bits.

I am already looking for what I will need for these lists.

 

[No Idea]

One of the trips that I would like to see happen this year is the pigging canoe trip on the other thread.

I jumped the gun a bit on that.

I was pretty sure they would have canoes on both their lists and I really am not interested.

So....

I am not going canoeing.

Ive only got one canoe, but there is two of them.

However, there is the stepkid, who is an adult, and the wifes boyfriend....

So.....I made the pair of them a proposition....

I needed to get them an xmas present each...

So I offered them half the wood each for christmas, if they would practise their swimming, and go with the kids down the river and across the harbour.

They jumped at it.

Last week I picked them up and took them to buy the wood for the boats.

We brought it home and cut it all up.

They have half the timber each, and the kids have all the wood they need.

I will supply the tools and knowhow to build these canoes.

In the meantime, I will finish off Stupid Idea, so I have a back up so I can go with them if the boyfriend and Stepkid fall through...

Then on a day of my choosing - after carefully checking the tide charts, weather forecasts, ect...

I will yell "Are you ready?"

They will arrive like hungry dogs...

You need your wetsuits, canoes, the trailer, your hobo stoves, your hammocks, yourlifejackets, your water pouches, your walkie talkies, your cameras, paddles, ....

I will give them a written list lol

"Are you ready?"

It really wont take them long.

If I end up going, I will grit my teeth and load Stupid Idea and an outboard as well as my kit and prepare for a noisy day out on the water, oh and arrange for someone else to pick us up at the other end.

If the other two do, I will drop them off and swan off for lunch in the halfway pub, before hanging my hammock in the shade at studland and enjoy waiting for them to arrive.

Either way, they will have a lovely time, I will either have an adventure too or a peaceful day.

I will not tell them when the trip will take place until its time to start loading.

That way if theres any problems, I can pull out without them getting upset that they have missed out. They dont miss what they dont know about and dont beat me up over it either.

We all win.

 

[No Idea]

I will over the next few days sort out a set of mind maps of what I need in place for each of the things they want to do.

I will, wherever possible, end each adventure with another, so, the river trip, if I cna combine it with a hammock session or hobo session or trip to a pub for hot chocolate and marshmallows, or maybe a bbq...

 

[No Idea]

Money....

The canoe trip..

Im using that as we have just been discussing it.

I would have spent probably the same amount of money on bits of tat for the kids to play with at christmas as I paid for the timber for the boats. It came to less than a ton and a half for the timber for the 3, so under half a ton each. Not sure if they will ever read this lol. The resin comes in at about £27 for enough for all 3 boats, and the paint...£3 a tin from a cheap shop. They will need a tenners worth of fittings, inc a chain to stop the canoes being nicked.

For that I get my kids a skill in building one of these, the confidence that comes with Ive done that!, and a toy that they can play with for months - which they will cherish as they built them. Probably in the region of £80 each.

The trip will cost me a gallon of fuel for the car thats costs are already covered in my weekly costs. Luch would happen anyhow, so would theirs, so that cost is already covered. I think it will cost me a fiver to take the car and trailer across on the chain ferry to get home afterwards.

The boats costs are in my xmas budget, and the whole trip will cost me £10 more than I would normally pay out.

Again, the trip to marshmallow land isnt really that much more than Mcdonalds. A home barbeque while they show me their pics and tell me all about it would actually save me money.

This is how I finance these things.

 

[No Idea]

Working bikes are £5 in the tip.

Windsurf kits are £15 whole in Ebay.

Hammocks are bought as and when the money is there, then stored until we need them, same with hobo stoves, wetsuits, whatever we need.

 

[No Idea]

I hope that makes some sense.

If there is anything else there that would be useful, say and I will try to oblige.

I will put up the mind maps when they are done.

 

[drewdunnrespect]

what an ausome thread

 

[Neumo]

Threre is quite a bit of wisdom in there, even though I normally avoid (or loose interest) in these occaisional long rambling multipost threads by the same person.

I like the idea of getting a book for each year & writing down what you are going to do that year, then tick them off as you do them. Like most people my New Year's resolutions usually start around now, in that gap between Xmass & New Years, only to be forgotton or dropped by the end of Jan.

I am finishing an IT contract tommorow so will be sitting down after New Year to plan out what I am going to do next year. This approach I like, so may well give it a go.