Forward Planning

[No Idea]

I hate planning anything as it means its something else that can go wrong and bite me.
I would also prefer to be sleeping in my hammock somewhere

However, even though I hate it, each year I do it, simply because it makes my life a lot more interesting.

Over the years this planning has made a massive impact on my life and that of my family.

Its probably the most beneficial habit Ive ever acquired .

Several of you have asked how I manage to do so much with my kids, etc… Forward Planning is the foundation that makes it possible. While many of you probably already do this, for those that don’t….Let me share.

This will need adjusting for your own circumstances and needs…..you might not be quite as mad as us.

 

[No Idea]

Why do I need it?
Er…..

Because of our basic nature.
I decided that I needed to forward plan as soon as it occurred to me how very different we really are.,,,,

I like hammocks. I want to go hammocking, I want to sit in it with some nice alcoholic coffee and maybe listen to a little quiet music and look around and or read a book – when Im not boating. Or reading my book in my hammock tied between some nice trees in a quiet bay dappled in sunshine, while my boat waits patiently – not sinkingly, on its anchor, nearby. If left to my own devices, I wouldnt actually do very much.

The wife wants me to look after the kids, unblock the toilet.... again, and clean the lounge, while she goes partying with her mates and gets hammered on Archers and Malibu. Not sure if that’s one after the other or both at the same time. Then I should keep the kids quiet and sit with her while she watches all those soaps, night after night on the box. Why should she put up with all the childcare and cleaning while I sleep somewhere?

The kids want more toys. They want bigger toys. They want to go to the pictures, swimming, bowling, out in the woods breaking things, boating… Anything other than sit quietly watching me sleep and the wife get leery and hammered.

I think they are all unreasonable.
She thinks that if I loved her, I would do what she wants.
Not sure the kids actually think at all.

If we actually did what we wanted, we wouldn’t have the money to do anything, or the sobriety, or time, come to that, and all pulling in different directions means you achieve virtually nothing. I know. Ive tried that too.

That’s not how we came to end up living in separate houses. That was a really complicated stupid mess, but that is just about how our thinking went prior to that.

 

[No Idea]

Wim Woms.

I have a wimwom. I think you aught to buy it. I want £1,000 for it.

I would hazard a guess that you have No Idea what a Wim Wom is, and you wouldn’t be too keen on giving me £1,000 for one.

Need.
In order to get you to buy this wimwom from me, you would have to feel you needed it for some reason. Buying it simply to make me happy is a reason, but not one we will use here. You would need to buy it for your own needs.

Supposing you found out that this wimwom was a brand new mansion, or something equally or more valuable, and you happened to know someone who would pay you £1 million or more for it in cash immediately that you bought it from me….

Now you might be willing to put the effort in to sorting out that £1,000.

You would perceive a need.

Perceive a need. It is something I believe is extremely important to understand and my forward planning is based on it.

 

[No Idea]

How do you measure a good time?

I woke up one day with a splitting headache after walking into a wall while plastered. I was really pleased as I had made it home…

Er….. probably not a good time…

Standing outside the school, this teacher asked one girl how her summer holiday had been…The girl just looked blank. The teacher asked what she had done during the holiday….The girl blinked several times and said”….er….not a lot”, and wandered into school.

The teacher asked my kid, who blinked and said, he had been trampolining, fishing, climbed a mountain to fly a kite, went to a party and then another, played on a play station and went adventuring with a tent and his bike, and went swimming and canoeing and kayaking, and been to Wales, and, and, and…..

When my kid ran off, the teacher said to me, “Some kids really do have good imaginations…..”

I just said “He missed the trip to Brighton, the trip to Monkey World, the trip to the adventure park…oh….and skateboarding. He has his diary in his bag, so if you ask him, no doubt he will show you all his pics..”

Her mouth fell open.

I have No Idea quite what “Not a lot” did during her holiday, but I would guess that having some sort of a record would help her remember the good bits.

I want my kids to have good memories of their childhoods and I want to make sure they have the records to help them remember. In fact, with my memory, I need this more at the mo than the kids do!

 

[No Idea]

I don’t usually start my Forward Planning until the 27th December, as I find that I have nothing to look forward to as the year ends. Sorting my planning fixes this, and starts the year off with feelings bordering on optimism, if not quite sober.

I cant do the families forward planning on my own.
This isn’t because I am lazy, its because each member of the family must Perceive a Need to help make it work. In other words, there must be a pay off for each of them that’s worth it to them to work together for. This is critically important. Ignore this and it simply wont work. Believe me. Ive tried doing that.

 

[No Idea]

Preparations for forward planning….
I need a BIG sheet of paper. I usually use a roll of wallpaper backing paper from B&Q.

I need a couple of packs of memo stickers

I need a whole pack of bic pens and usually some pencils and a couple of highlighters.

I have an A3 printer, so I usually steal some paper off it. Usually about 50 or so sheets.

I also print out a set of monthly planners on A3 paper, for the year.

I buy each member of my family – who will be involved closely with the family throughout the year a one page per day business diary. I usually cheat and give them out as stocking fillers. This includes the wife and her boyfriend who live in their own home, as having them helping instead of hindering makes my life a hell of a lot easier.

I need a table big enough for all of us to sit round, with our diaries from the last few years – or photo albums or whatever is available from previous years, and still have enough space for all to scribble on the paper, and have cups of drink, etc on there too.
My table is about 8 ft long and 4 ft wide and is about the right size for us.

Our planning meeting is more important to me than Christmas dinner as it will affect us for the whole year. This is one family get together I make sure I get right.

 

[No Idea]

I make sure the kettle is boiled and there is tea and coffee and lemonade for the kids, and the diaries are all on the table, as are the pens, pencils and stacks of memo stickers and paper.
.

We then look in the diaries and note in the box anything we did last year that we would like to repeat this year. My list this year included going boating, getting drunk, having the kids cook more bbqs, go to more parties, spend more time hammocking,…

The kids wanted to go sailing, windsurfing, canoeing, swimming, camping, mcdonalds, pizza hut, burger king, splashdown, trampolining…..

Our diaries include last years lists too. We also have a look at each others diaries to see if we missed anything, and previous years. Found I hadn’t been ice skating last year… Got to fix it this year…Oooh and a trip to a panto at Xmas…

We also make a list of anything we really don’t want to do again in another box each. With me, this is usually things like not falling off the boat, the bike, the skateboard, not ending up in hospital from crashing, drowning or jumping off anything…

And then what else we would really like to do….
Sleep more, build a 4 x 4 ferrari to tow the boat….

The kids added Australia, France, the moon, mars, and the Oceanarium with mum….

Er… Might struggle a bit with some of them.

 

[No Idea]

Usually, having got here, we walk away for an hour or so. Otherwise the kids get too itchy….not admitting I do too.

Once back, we start setting each idea out into mind maps. We pick one on our list and write it on the middle of a sheet of A3 paper. We then start to map out what we need to achieve to make this happen on memo stickers and stick them to the A3 sheets.

A sheet might have “Bike camping” written in the middle.
Little one adds a sticker with “Brake cable” written on it.
I didn't know his brake was broken, but he does as its his bike and he thinks he wants it fixed before he could enjoy this.
Biggest adds a memo with “Map, puncture kit, spare chain link (I ruined a trip when I snapped a chain and didn't have the kit to fix it and he hasn’t forgotten),
Wife adds, destination somewhere interesting on a bus route so I can meet you there (she doesn’t ride bikes, but if she can engage, she is less likely to try to mess it up).
My sheets inc new tent – hammocks, check bags, money, waterproofs, food? Water bottles?.....

Eventually, between rests, we end up with a serious set of wish list with all the bases listed that we need to cover to make them a success.

Over the next few days I will then make up a list of what we need to acquire and achieve for the various endeavours, what is feasible and exactly what each member of the family believes is important for them to have a truly fantastic year.

 

[No Idea]

Its then possible to work out some of the things that each of us needs to do in preparation for these things, like learn how to survive a capsize, learn how to control a skid, learn how to clear the whole house in two hours on a Thursday night, so come Friday after work/school, the house is completely prepared for Monday morning and we are ready to go!

 

[No Idea]

Of course....

Thats the theory lol

 

[No Idea]

This year, the wife and her boyfriend came for xmas.

He drank too much and had a hell of a headache, she got ill and nearly ended up in hospital

Step kid did the cooking. Wasnt due to me!

 

[No Idea]

Anyhow, the house ended up smelling er.....

Baaad.

So...

27th Dec....

Asdas Cafe.

Not exactly ideal, as it was noisy, but most of that happened after we arrived.

It was just the kids and I as the wife had to go home, she was so ill.

I had already talked through some plans with the boyfriend and the stepkid, and I include her where I can, so....

I will just run stuff past her before I finish.

 

[Toddy]

While Prior Planning and Preperation Prevent a P(retty?) Poor Performance.........I personally find that organisation stiffles my creativity

Have a very good year No Idea

cheers,
Toddy

 

[Xunil]

Wow !

I read and re-read the whole lot and I think I'm going to save it all for future reference. It's not often you see the harsh realities and bitter-sweetness mixed so readily with humour.

I like it - a lot

 

[No Idea]

Lol I never seem to have a problem with stifled creativity.

Ive started writing this because Ive just snapped off my last 3mm drill hacking holes in the side of a chocolate powder tin and havent any more spares.

 

[No Idea]

Thank you Xunil

I will run through how we do it, and try to highlight some of the pitfalls we have already managed to fall in lol

 

[No Idea]

Page a day diaries....

I know keeping diaries seems a bit wacko, but it actually works.

We use them pretty much as glorified scrap books.

The current ones are stored at hand in a draw in the kitchen, thats mine and the kids, with the paper cutter, a couple of how to draw books and the pritt sticks and pencils, etc...

We store our old ones on the bookshelves in our lounge, and the older ones in my office, out of the way.

During the year, I take pics of what we get up to.

Believe it or not, you have only seen a fraction of them.

Each couple of weeks, when its raining, or we have nothing better to do for a couple of hours, I print out our photos to date, the kids mainly get pics of themselves and what they ahve been doing, I take whatever appeals to me to keep. I print them as thumbnail images, usually 3 across and 5 down each A4 sheet.

I expect the kids to write at least a line a day in their diaries during each holiday - and I do the same.
This stops their writing getting worse during the hols, and also gives them a record of all the good stuff.
This is what they look at to remember, so the not so nice things seem to disapear.

 

[No Idea]

Ive just been trawling my pics.

This is one I found at random of my Little one sitting in Tescos Cafe - I think, doing his diary.

This was some time this summer.

The image software prints them with date and time, along the bottom edge.

He is sorting his shots into order having cut them out, ready to stick in.

On days where we dont have pics, we draw something, a cowboy, a house, a piece of pipe, a cow a tractor. Not worried what, just so long as they practice drawing.

The last evening of the summer holiday, we usually sit in a pub garden and watch the sun setting, with plates of chips and chocolate drinks, complete with marshmallows...

They take their diaries to school at the begining of each term and usually astonish their teachers with what they have been up to. If they have to see a specialist or a doctor, they usually take their diaries. Talking to them is very easy if you actually listen to them talking and then lead them where you need them to go.

 

[No Idea]

Anyhow....

Asdas.

I took my diaries, simply because I can read them and I have more pics.

2007, 2008, 2009.

And all our diries for 2010.

So... In the chaos of the resturant/ cafe, we each went through all 6 diaries, over dinner and lots of orangeade stuff.

Little one looking at 2007?

steak pie, chips and gravy, with 2009 on the side...

The piece of paper he has in his hand is his list that he is writing...

....And me...

I need a thinner camera.

As we wade through our diaries, we make notes of what we did before that we would like to do again.

You can tell that this kid is working for himself here.

He wrote 3 A4 sheets with no help, coaxing, or bullying.

He is determined to make sure he gets his stuff into the mix for next year.

I can even read most of it.

Bowling, Mate sleepover, Easter Eggs ( a couple of years ago they made their own and they were solid!), ToysRus (not if I can help it), Dates with Girlfriend, Tree swing, biking, football match, Sleeping in his hut (thats the one he had my hobo stove in), Kanoeing (er...), Big Balon (turns out he wants to go on the balloon ride in the middle of Bournemouth. Didnt think of that), Hamicing (hammock lol), Ice skating (I thought he hated it. Just learned something else I didnt know), use fireplace ( he wants to light fires in the lounge again - didnt know he liked this either), gocarts ( looks like he needs to fix them then lol), Trapeeze boating, sand yacht ( think that means he wants to build one), chicin veg pies (he likes making and eating them), dig holes in sand, sand casels, car boot sale, fix trarpel (trampoline), dancing club.....

 

[eel28]

Lol I never seem to have a problem with stifled creativity.

Ive started writing this because Ive just snapped off my last 3mm drill hacking holes in the side of a chocolate powder tin and havent any more spares.

Must resist the urge to ask about the chocolate powder tin - well at least till after we have heard more about the potato tin