Chuck Norris Jokes

[Mojoracinguk]

the grim reaper's scythe is made from Chuck Norris finger nails

 

[Mojoracinguk]

Chuck Norris does not need touch, smell, taste, or to hear...he'll kill you with sight

 

[Mojoracinguk]

you can't see Chuck Norris....light just isn't quick enough...

 

[Mojoracinguk]

Chuck Norris has no shadow....he fought it and won

 

[wanderingblade]

Chuck Norris does not need a gun - he pushes the bullets in by hand.

 

[ex-member Raikey]

Chuck Norris likes Wagner,....

this is why despite millions of votes against him every week, he remains in the line up....

(the wife did this one...lol)

 

[spiritwalker]

have you tried typing "find chuck norris" into google then click i feel lucky button ;-)

 

[DaveBromley]

THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!

Dave

 

[Bushwhacker]

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

 

[Mojoracinguk]

have you tried typing "find chuck norris" into google then click i feel lucky button ;-)

Only Chuck Norris has the power to do that....'what a guy'

 

[SimonM]

have you tried typing "find chuck norris" into google then click i feel lucky button ;-)

As Ray would say "Fantastic"

Simon

 

[Shambling Shaman]

have you tried typing "find chuck norris" into google then click i feel lucky button ;-)

Have now, nearly spat my coffee over my laptop.....

 

[CaptainBeaky]

Yes, I had to try it...

PMSL!

 

[dwardo]

God wanted 10 days to create the earth, chuck gave him 7

 

[Indoorsout]

Only Unicorn steaks are rare enough for Chuck Norris

 

[milius2]

Chuck Norris has two legs... law & order!

Chuck Norris struck down a lightning.

 

[Biker]

 

[huffhuff]

My favourite (can't remember it exactly so adlibbing);

In great respect, awe and appriciation for Chuck Norris, the New York Mayor decided to name a street after the legend. But it had to be closed and renamed only hours after opening. Anybody walking across the street just seemed to drop down dead. There was an amazing death count of 67 in the first hour.

The moral of the story - nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives...!

 

[Shambling Shaman]

My favourite (can't remember it exactly so adlibbing);

In great respect, awe and appriciation for Chuck Norris, the New York Mayor decided to name a street after the legend. But it had to be closed and renamed only hours after opening. Anybody walking across the street just seemed to drop down dead. There was an amazing death count of 67 in the first hour.

The moral of the story - nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives...!

rofl, not heard that on before..

 

[Bushwhacker]

Before they met Chuck Norris, The Black Eyed Peas were simply known as 'The Peas'.