Sold Original Bushcraft UK Ventile Jacket
- Thread starter Longstrider
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If you send poo to my address you all better hunker down and prepare for repercussions. Dont you think I’ve suffered enough for almost two decades with the room next to ours being filled with dead stuff, ungodly smells, live wasps nests being transplanted from people’s houses into her room. Dealing with dead seal heads being smuggled into her hotel room when we are on holiday and the cleaners being horrified at the smell and discovering them. My pockets being filled with poo wrapped in kitchen towels to be found months later, green wood pecker skulls being left in shower gel containers in the shower to break down, ant farms being created that take over the whole house. Pet cuttlefish being killed by the other half by feeding them smoked salmon and then having to replace them before she found out. Only to having her find out because she realises cuttle fish certainly grow, but they don’t shrink. No end of baby animals being rescued and smuggled into the house for me to wake up every three hours to feed. Tadpoles being kept in toilet cisterns when she’s just five and being fed on fish food. Carpets being charred in spots because seven year olds without any teaching can actually make bow drills themselves if they watch “uncle Ray doing things and saying things”. Complaints from other parents that “our daughter is teaching our kids how to sharpen the kitchen knives better”. Complaints from neighbours wondering why their satellite dish has an arrow in it. Why their fences have hedgehog shaped holes in them. Why their cats seem to want to live with us. The list is endless. But the ventile smock arrived today and I’m over the moon with it. It’s too big for little sh#ts to rob it as well.
I blame the parents.......
Sounds like a fantastic childhood though!
Sounds like a fantastic childhood though!
This is a really nice jacket. But it can’t be borrowed as it’s too big. If anyone has a small for sale, please DM me 
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You can’t be blamed, he should’ve checkedThis is a really nice jacket. But it can’t be borrowed as it’s too small. If anyone has a small for sale, please DM me
I’m
Has dad been telling tales about me? They are probably exaggerated. I’m always getting bullied. And I am too old to ring childline now
I meant too big not small. Oopsie.You can’t be blamed, he should’ve checked
Has dad been telling tales about me? They are probably exaggerated. I’m always getting bullied. And I am too old to ring childline now
Oh no doubts, i bleevs ya , all entirely fabricated, no question about itI’m
I meant too big not small. Oopsie.
Has dad been telling tales about me? They are probably exaggerated. I’m always getting bullied. And I am too old to ring childline now
So…why was there a green woodpecker skull in a shower gel bottle? Some of those stories seemed suspiciously specific!I’m
I meant too big not small. Oopsie.
Has dad been telling tales about me? They are probably exaggerated. I’m always getting bullied. And I am too old to ring childline now
I found a dead one over the common when I was 11. It was a bit wet and ant eaten, so I cut the head off to get the skull and hopefully the mega long tongue. I put it in the soap container with some water and a bit of bleach so the remaining feathers would drop off. It was in the downstairs shower that doesn’t get used much and was going really well. If a bit long. Then mom knocked it off the shower thing and it broke open. She threw it away and it never got rescued in time. She wasn’t happy and I was banned from bringing dead stuff into the house soon after that.
And I am too old to ring childline now
I think if you tell them you were fed on fish food when you were five they might intervene.
Well, I have to say that tops my experiments with dead crows in the freezer (found by dad), maggots in margarine tubs in the fridge (found by my grandfather, and severed squirrel tails drying in the oven, found by the gas inspector!
Respect!
This is how we learn stuff. I put stuff in the oven to dry it as well. But it cooks it and smells rather than dries. I spent hours and hours opening up all the windows and wafting a kitchen tray about towards the windows trying to get rid of the smells before mom and dad got back. Dad has has a particular side eye look and does squinty things with his eyebrows that told me I was busted. But mom never caught on unless I’d left things about. Then I found out about rice and re using it by drying it in the microwave. That made bad smells too after a while of using it over and over.Well, I have to say that tops my experiments with dead crows in the freezer (found by dad), maggots in margarine tubs in the fridge (found by my grandfather, and severed squirrel tails drying in the oven, found by the gas inspector!
Respect!
Fish food was better than mom’s food. Mom’s cooking was proper child abuse. Human rights lawyers would come for her now. Dad spent most time on the toilet when they first met. He thought he’d got IBS. But it was mom in the kitchen. Bless her.I think if you tell them you were fed on fish food when you were five they might intervene.
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