Sheath or Sheaf?

[Laurentius]

(An Aberdonian comes back from his holiday in Paris.
His mate asks "Sandy did you hay a guid time loon?"
"I did that, think the waitress fancied me though like."
"Fi's that Sandy?"
"Weel at breakfast every day she asked me how mony eggs I'd like, like. I aye said "twa",... and ye ken fit? She aye gave me "three"!")







Badoom Tish! - I'll get my coat.

Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.

It's just taken me three hours to figure that one out. us Midlanders are perhaps not that bright when it comes to languages

 

[Goatboy]

It's just taken me three hours to figure that one out. us Midlanders are perhaps not that bright when it comes to languages

Sorry, didn't mean to frustrate you. I love that joke, just a nice gentle play on two different languages. It's easier to get if you read it aloud. A bit like the old Two Ronnies Swedish Eggs sketch, written down is good, but delivered is even better.
("F. U. N. E. X?"
"S. V. F. X.") Has me howling with laughter overtime, just as funny as their more famous "Four Candles/Fork Handles" sketch.
Sorry I wasted a chunk of your day Laurentius.


Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.

 

[brambles]

Regional accents are all fine and dandy for those that speak them, for the rest of us trying to phone our banks at a callcentre they're a frustrating nightmare.

Yeah, that's mostly a problem because the regional accent you are encountering is Mumbai ....

 

[John Fenna]

It's just taken me three hours to figure that one out. us Midlanders are perhaps not that bright when it comes to languages

Even English....

 

[Fadcode]

How do nudists carry pocket Knives?

 

[santaman2000]

How do nudists carry pocket Knives?

Only if they're an ex inmate.

 

[sunndog]

bro!

Most shocking word use in whole thread

 

[Jaeger]

Here's my favourite and I still come across it often -

English teacher complaining to me at parents/teachers evening about one of my offspring's essay writing!

"Perhaps he was playing with his Sega Mega Drive (dates it!) when he should OF been doing his homework?".

Just in case I hadn't heard it correctly she kindly repeated it in his written report!

Now what's that saying - 'Them 'at can do, them 'at can't, teach?'

 

[santaman2000]

Here's my favourite and I still come across it often -

English teacher complaining to me at parents/teachers evening about one of my offspring's essay writing!

"Perhaps he was playing with his Sega Mega Drive (dates it!) when he should OF been doing his homework?".

Just in case I hadn't heard it correctly she kindly repeated it in his written report!

Now what's that saying - 'Them 'at can do, them 'at can't, teach?'

Maybe. Maybe not. When you write out, "should of," it's obviously wrong; but what if what the teacher really said was, "should've?" A completely acceptable contraction with almost identical pronunciation.

 

[brambles]

Maybe. Maybe not. When you write out, "should of," it's obviously wrong; but what if what the teacher really said was, "should've?" A completely acceptable contraction with almost identical pronunciation.

"Just in case I hadn't heard it correctly she kindly repeated it in his written report!"

No pronunciation difficulties in the written word

 

[santaman2000]

"Just in case I hadn't heard it correctly she kindly repeated it in his written report!"

No pronunciation difficulties in the written word

At least being written, you have an example to show his or her superiors.

 

[ol smokey]

I am another picky character, and I would definitely say Sheath. I get wound up by folk on the B.B.C. when they refer
to 'the weather coming in, the weather is there all the time. They should say wet weather, or dry weather.
The other one that gets me, is when folk south of the border, say morning time, or evening time. Like someone earlier
said morning, or evening already indicates the time of day. I find that on the whole Scots have a much better grasp of
the English language, than the English themselves. It is a well known fact that folk from the Inverness area are the
best English speakers. Better than the majority of the English themselves. I do not come from there, but got good marks
for my English at School. I pride myself in talking Scots, nowadays, I have been retired for years, but still am careful
about my grammar.

 

[brambles]

There are far too many language manglers around, far too often bumbling politicians are the cause. One of my pet hates is "We have our red lines in the sand" Aarrggh! You draw a line in the sand, or cross the red line, or fall back on the thin red line. Clumsily mangling a sentence by mistake and then continuing to use the abortion of a phrase you accidentally come up with drives me mad.

 

[johntarmac]

Yeah, that's mostly a problem because the regional accent you are encountering is Mumbai ....

I'm pretty good with 'Mumbai', the missus thinks it's something to do with my family history ....

 

[pentrekeeper]

This kind of thing drives me crazy, it's all down to very poor uptake of education.
Of course it is sheath.

I see it all the time on TV for example the sky adverts "believe in betta" what the hell is betta, now barclays advert "pay it of quicka" what the hell is quicka.

Our language is very flexible but this is just pure abuse.

 

[Robson Valley]

Languages evolve and english is a perfect example. Add to that the "digital age" where hundreds of new words, unknown 30 years ago, are quite acceptable.
Get used to the idea of translating. I think some synonyms are outstandingly dense/thick/stupid & foolish. The regional origins explain otherwise.
All sorts of words have been incorporated into english. There's 12,000 yr old word in Sanskrit that we all understand for "sugar." The word is "kandij." Just say it.

But you all are right. Mistakes in auditory perception can be perpetuated.

 

[Janne]

This kind of thing drives me crazy, it's all down to very poor uptake of education.
Of course it is sheath.

I see it all the time on TV for example the sky adverts "believe in betta" what the hell is betta, now barclays advert "pay it of quicka" what the hell is quicka.

Our language is very flexible but this is just pure abuse.

Betta and quicka sounds like the lingo used in African - American areas. Something Ali G would use. Innit?

 

[Jaeger]

Hw bt cmpltly dng wy wth vwls?

It would make typing and texting even quicker and Arabic seems to manage without them!

 

[Robson Valley]

ys,dwn wth vwls.

 

[johntarmac]

With humanity's future supposedly being among the stars I do wonder how future generations are going to design the necessary transportation when the language has been reduced to LOL, OMG, *** and LMAO.