What are good basic skills for our domesticated life?

[Paul_B]

Oh, I don't disagree with debate, and I can wax lyrical about the pro's and con's of guns (I own a few ) but I do not think that the majority of people that would like to add to Tony's original request will wade through pages of this kind of discussion (for want of a better word) - this is purely thread hijacking IMHO. As I said, if you want a debate that is off topic it is (normal) forum manners to start a new thread.

This is the last I will say on this otherwise I am guilty of the same

+1, 2 & 3!

Debates about gun control aren't really debates but diametrically opposed views being restated ad nauseum. Let us end this part of the thread as it has all been said already and we need to get back to suggestions for what to teach the next gen. How to argue isn't a positive thing to teach.

 

[snappingturtle]

Santaman, thank for the heads up on MCMAP I did not know the marines had such a program, the "weapons of opportunity" sounds interesting, I guess that's a class's on how to take out six men with nothing more than a washing up liquid bottle and a feather duster

 

[santaman2000]

Santaman, thank for the heads up on MCMAP I did not know the marines had such a program, the "weapons of opportunity" sounds interesting, I guess that's a class's on how to take out six men with nothing more than a washing up liquid bottle and a feather duster

LOL. There's an old joke here (among services other than Marines) that you never let a Marine play with sharp objects. The Marines' reply? They can kill equally well with a blunt one.

 

[Arya]

This line of posts started as one member posted that self defense would be a good skill. Now we can also add the ability to debate.

Ups... I'm sorry if I stirred up this?
I didn't have guns on my mind, but self defence/close combat that makes you less of an easy target on your way home from the cinema.
For me, Krav Maga and grappling was the natural choice. The grappling even helped me out in a situation once with that 7 month old bull that wasn't to happy about my presence

 

[santaman2000]

Ups... I'm sorry if I stirred up this?
I didn't have guns on my mind, but self defence/close combat that makes you less of an easy target on your way home from the cinema.
For me, Krav Maga and grappling was the natural choice. The grappling even helped me out in a situation once with that 7 month old bull that wasn't to happy about my presence

Krav Maga is one of the more realistic ones. Excellent choice.

Regarding the "close combat" comment though, that's where most people considering guns also err. They practice at 25 yards or further. In real life (civilian) if you ever draw a weapon in true "self defense:" it's going to be at a much, much closer range. Statistics reveal that the average defensive encounter is at about 7 yards. You're certainly going to be in the same room as your attacker; more likely at arms length. One of our drills as a cop involved standing immediately in front of the target silhouette and pushing it away with the weak hand while drawing your weapon and firing from the waist.

I know in an earlier post I showed a reluctance to let an attacker get that close. I still dislike it, but it's just another reality to be aware of and prepared for.

 

[Paul_B]

Personally I prefer to keep threats further away than that. Like the time I got followed home from the pub once as a student there had been a serious of attacks on students and it was a student pub. Trust me I was in the shared house the quickest I've ever made it home from the pub. Sobered up in no time. Adrenaline I guess did well for me.

At least 3 ppl who started off being very close in the busy chucking out time outside the pub. By the time I'd got round the corner I'd put 50 yards on them. Cool stagger to the corner. Once out of site a not so cool sprint!

I seriously wonder what a gun would have done for me. If I had a gun wouldn't they?

Nope the best skill for self defence is awareness. As drunk as I was I spotted the danger before my less hard drinking mate in the group (BTW they left me so I ditched most of them as mates - another awareness matter). You can't do anything if you aren't aware of what's happening around you.

Then awareness of the risks / dangers so you can work out the best action. Personally first action distance yourself is the best. Can't get hurt if they can't get you.

Anyway it's kind of not off topic in that looking after yourself is what life skills are about. Self defence (IMHO awareness is part of that) is just looking after yourself in a dangerous or violent situation.

BTW in the UK guns are less prevalent in a lot of areas. Whilst we're not clear of guns the control makes having one yourself be unnecessary. I think that's a preferable situation to be in than the US guns for all situation. I think it's a cultural difference between our societies.

 

[santaman2000]

Absolutely agree the best defense is situational awareness and avoidance.

That said, the 75 year old grandma on a walker or the paraplegic don't necessarily have as wide a range of choices. They're also more limited for women (most sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim, such as a friend or family member) or people of smaller stature.

I partially agree with you regarding the lower prevalence of guns there making them less necessary. However I disagree that your laws have anything to do with that lower prevalence; rather it's the cultural difference you mentioned (you're simply a less violent people)At least for now.

Would you, a law abiding person, having a gun mean that the other, criminal, would also have one? The criminal couldn't care less about laws restricting guns.

 

[sunndog]

There is a very good life skill. gain some understanding of laws that effect you most

And realise that laws only effect those that choose to obey them

 

[santaman2000]

There is a very good life skill. gain some understanding of laws that effect you most

And realize that laws only effect those that choose to obey them

That leads to another skill as well. Not just the laws, but a good understanding of your government and your role (indeed, your duty) in deciding it. We like to think and speak of things like voting as a right, but we often neglect to teach that it's a duty as well.

 

[Tengu]

Yup.

Or maybe teach them about the Athenians and their vissitudes with politics...

But they had a great police force, Scynthian slaves who wore trousers and spoke attic with goofy accents.

No one in Athens was afraid of the cops.

 

[SaraR]

Involve your child in everyday activities so that they have a chance to learn the skills they need. Children learn by watching and by helping out. As they reach a suitable age make a point of guiding them through stuff or make a point of talking them through what you are doing. As to what the topics are- what do you do to run your home and life?

Cooking, laundry, mending clothes, DIY, paying bills, preparing for and dealing with powered cuts etc, voting, first aid, taking care of bikes and cars, baby sitting...

 

[Fallschirmwomble]

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS...

A highly emotive and contentious subject. I like firearms, was good with them but "domesticated life" (in the UK for me) means it's somewhat off topic, unlike for some in places like Alaska, BC, etc. I like grenades too - DEFINITELY off topic!!!


Self defence is relevant and I'm not criticising anyone. Environment awareness and knowledge of how to use mundane items in defence is probably (certainly in the UK) a better strategy for the long term. I think the most crucial aspect of firearms training is reading a situation and knowing when NOT to fire...

If there seems to be an intruder in your toilet and your girlfriend's missing from in bed beside you - it's probably not an intruder. Not really rocket science...


##

I've read this thread with great interest. I think the physical skills have been covered.

Most people here have emphasised self-reliance and practical skills. Rightly so. First aid, swimming and more. All good. How to sharpen a knife - a point made and not even commented on, probably because everyone here knows the value of it. Not so with MOST people. AND most people don't seem to know safe/effective knife handling and maintenance.

I like what SaraR wrote above: that's the traditional way that skills have been passed down amongst craftsmen and craftswomen - so it's tried and tested over centuries/millennia. Having a (mock) "Chinese Parliament" to involve them in the decision-making processes of day-to-day life should aid their understanding of these matters, the whys and wherefores. It'd better enable them in the future and make starting out their own independent lives less daunting and more effective.

I'd add a tad of philosphy. Ironic, since I hate the concept of philosophy as an academic subject (I'm not an academic). The concepts of "there's always a bigger fish" and "pride comes before a fall" - I personally work on the principle that the ego is a person's first worst enemy in life. I'm not particularly religious but, in childhood, I learned compassion from a carpenter and ethics from a slave. (Christ and Aesop) I passionately hate most poetry but Rudyard Kipling's "If" is a thoroughly good standard by which to try to live.

Chaos theory and the sin of procrastination: get things that you don't enjoy done correctly and as quickly as you can so that you can move onto something better. Done and dusted, out of the way - before it causes problems. Problems (in my life experience) often develop at a geometric rate (what I call the chaos theory). The best discipline is self-discipline. Military training taught me all that. I was hopeless before that education and conditioning.

Wellbeing: it's more than just physical fitness/health. Emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social and environmental. It's important to recognise that these are satisfied.

It's important to be able to read people as well as read and weigh up potential ulterior motives. Know when you're being played. Government want taxpayers who put up with their shenanigans, the greater the ignorance and indifference, the better. Commerce wants people to buy the latest trends and keep up with the Joneses. It suits both if the population don't think for themselves and are egotistical/superficial. I think modern technology - in particular these latest 'phone toys - as used in our (UK) society promotes DEPENDENCY on tech. Bushcraft does the opposite.

Don't get me wrong, tech can be useful when used well. I just don't like dependency on anything but myself, the "Nanny State" and being used. If you've seen car ads and the Gillette/Wilkinson razor adverts in the UK, you'd see that they're targeting/promoting fantasists. It's weird. The money spent on these ads suggest that they work. Scary, I can't relate to the mindset of so many people. I feel isolated, especially being in London.

Mistakes are okay and are helpful to learning. It's the repeated mistakes that are stupid.

Finally: learn to savour and enjoy their childhood before it's gone...


There is another lesson/skill. It's not for the kids, it's for us: the ability to engage and inspire. When it's your own kids, it's perhaps not so difficult. I'm seriously thinking of volunteering with cadets and scouts when I've the free time (I care for my elderly Mum, at the moment, and am house bound almost all day long long).

 

[santaman2000]

Fallshirwomble your post evokes memories of Stephen Covey.

I might add (separate from Covey's habits) that what we allow kids to learn on their own is important as well. By that I mean they need free time apart from structured events to invent their own play and learn from simply interacting with each other.

 

[snappingturtle]

I though schools covered politic, law, crime and punishment? mine did with mock courts and political campaigns, we pulled notes from a box giving are position an a bit about how to enact that roll.

 

[Robson Valley]

I guess I had railed against doing some house-work chore. Must have been 14-15 yrs old.
My Mother's response: " You will never have any fun in this world if you can't look after yourself."

She was right. Self sufficiency has always been far ahead of what-ever is in second place.
Learn to ignore anyone willing to criticize that attribute.

 

[Leshy]

Ups... I'm sorry if I stirred up this?
I didn't have guns on my mind, but self defence/close combat that makes you less of an easy target on your way home from the cinema.
For me, Krav Maga and grappling was the natural choice. The grappling even helped me out in a situation once with that 7 month old bull that wasn't to happy about my presence

Hahahahaha

Well that escalated quickly....

Still .... Very valid point and invaluable skill .

 

[njc110381]

I guess I had railed against doing some house-work chore. Must have been 14-15 yrs old.
My Mother's response: " You will never have any fun in this world if you can't look after yourself."

That, for a start. My mother did everything for me until I was in my late teens. Washing, cleaning, general chores. This is to the point that when I got my first car she cleaned that for me too. I did cook, but she'd wash up every time. Where I'm going with this is that I now make a hell of a mess and nobody tidies it up for me. As an adult it's like some foreign process that I can't get my head around. I'm terribly untidy and feel that some pushing to do it myself when I was a kid may have given a different result?

That brings me on to think about other things kids are sheltered from these days. Failure, being scorned... My wife is a primary school teacher and the effort that goes into making kids feel like winners when they're not during sports day is unreal. And the red cross next to wrong work has long gone. Great, the kids feel good all of the time perhaps but that's not life. They grow up with no understanding of punishment, or that sometimes life throws us things that aren't nice. They've never had to deal with it and as such, can't handle it. Society seems to be going down hill with the likes of the shootings in America and it's not the fault of the gun. It's the fault of whoever is carrying it. Society, not law, needs to change.

Basic skills wise, I'd like to see a child learn;
* First aid
* Basic navigation
* Where food comes from and how to grow/harvest it as well as cook it
* Managing basic household finances
* That hard work pays off - reward the less fun tasks with pocket money rather than just handing it over perhaps?

It seems that school teaches us to be good little earners/consumers. It does little to teach actual basic life skills that we all need!

 

[Insel Affen]

Thought I'd try and steer this back away from guns (although I agree with how to shoot), so my thoughts are:

Discipline,
Respect,
The ability to question, (how to think rather than what)
You are not owed a living,
It will take hard work to achieve (If you want something),
Teaching from first principles (it's OK to have heating, but how do you make, light and maintain a fire)
Meat doesn't cope from a shop,
Teach them to use a washing machine (and hand wash),
Teach them how to cook and bake,
Teach them to sew,
Teach them to budget and not live beyond their means,
Let them make mistakes,

I think above all else....
Let them be happy and loved.

Baz Luhrmann's Song - Sunscreen has some good advice too!
https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI

 

[santaman2000]

That, for a start. My mother did everything for me until I was in my late teens. Washing, cleaning, general chores. This is to the point that when I got my first car she cleaned that for me too. I did cook, but she'd wash up every time. Where I'm going with this is that I now make a hell of a mess and nobody tidies it up for me. As an adult it's like some foreign process that I can't get my head around. I'm terribly untidy and feel that some pushing to do it myself when I was a kid may have given a different result?......

That brings me to another thing we need to teach our kids: we need to teach our sons to choose wives that will cook, clean, and properly care for their husbands and children. And we need to teach our daughters to be such wives.

I'll get my popcorn now

 

[Janne]

That brings me to another thing we need to teach our kids: we need to teach our sons to choose wives that will cook, clean, and properly care for their husbands and children. And we need to teach our daughters to be such wives.

I'll get my popcorn now

Then we need to teach our sons to appreciate the efforts of their wifes, to honor them, to support them both emotionally and financially.

Maybe even teach our dond to cook, clean and properly care for their wifes and children.

Once we have done those things, it will be a happy, harmonic world!

I get some more popcorn....