Time to Think...or Not

Tengu

Full Member
Jan 10, 2006
13,031
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51
Wiltshire
Tomorrow will be my 49th Birthday (I know this is young compared to many of you)

Which means it is my 50th year.

And so far I have not got a job.

Which means I have been looking now for 30 years...

Why am I not successful like other people? I want to get ahead. You know me, I am a highly intelligent person with many skills and a nice personality.

Why cant I get ahead? I am getting very depressed about the whole subject. I want the respect of my family (and indeed everyone else) and I need money for things like pension schemes and investments.
 

TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
10,992
4,099
50
Exeter
Maybe because the ability to graft ( attitude ) is more important ( IMO ) than your personal believed ability ( aptitude ).

The abiity to learn those important social skills you mentioned elsewhere can be gathered from working in all type of work - paid and unpaid.

Maybe you need to take a different perspective upon it but please don't going getting depressed.
 

Tengu

Full Member
Jan 10, 2006
13,031
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51
Wiltshire
I am advancing in my skills, -volunteering, and blogging.

Two conference paper this (Last) year

Im confident I will be published next year.

But I am not satisfied.
 
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gra_farmer

Full Member
Mar 29, 2016
1,912
1,088
Kent
I am advancing in my skills, -volunteering, and blogging.

Two conference paper this (Last) year

Im confident I will be published next year.

But I am not satisfied.
First off, happy birthday :)

Maybe a direction change? I was a farmer, it was not working out. then went down the degree route and never turned back.

Your interests are very specialised, in heritage. It's a hard area to get work, and the vast majority of jobs that are available, and kind of relate are council positions
 
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henchy3rd

Settler
Apr 16, 2012
612
424
Derby
A very happy birthday to you.

Educated or uneducated, qualified or unqualified. swallow the bitter pill, just take what you can, it’s a start & could lead to other things.
At least you’ll be able carry your head high & have a constant wage coming in.
You can always carry on doing what you do best as a side line & hope it pays off.
Its all very well going after that elusive job after years off education & I hope you get one, but let’s be honest,after thirty years & thousands off others doing the same thing?
all the best.
 

Toddy

Mod
Mod
Jan 21, 2005
39,133
4,810
S. Lanarkshire
Age is just a number. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Every one moves at their own pace.
Age doesn't define you, not nowadays, not here in the West.

Sometimes you have to think 'outside the box' on employment though.
Perhaps you could figure out how to set yourself up as a consultancy company of some kind ?
It can come with grants/benefits for start up and the like, and has the advantage that you are working but also available for work, if I make myself clear ? Use the free time productively and research and produce more of the publication stuff. Not just for academics, but for the media, for children (suss out the school curriculum, there's a big chunk in there that's history/heritage/natural world) and make things relevant. You're used to selling, sell your services and products to the heritage centres where you'd like to work.
You have said before that you are uncomfortable around children, but this way you can educate without actually having to physicaly teach them.
It's an unusual foot in the door kind of thing, but it would cover both your wide range of interests, provide some income and gain you both experience and a reputation that might lead to the kind of job offers you want.

I hope you have a very Happy Birthday :D and many more of them too.

:grouphug:
Mary
 

henchy3rd

Settler
Apr 16, 2012
612
424
Derby
Age is just a number. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Every one moves at their own pace.
Age doesn't define you, not nowadays, not here in the West.

Sometimes you have to think 'outside the box' on employment though.
Perhaps you could figure out how to set yourself up as a consultancy company of some kind ?
It can come with grants/benefits for start up and the like, and has the advantage that you are working but also available for work, if I make myself clear ? Use the free time productively and research and produce more of the publication stuff. Not just for academics, but for the media, for children (suss out the school curriculum, there's a big chunk in there that's history/heritage/natural world) and make things relevant. You're used to selling, sell your services and products to the heritage centres where you'd like to work.
You have said before that you are uncomfortable around children, but this way you can educate without actually having to physicaly teach them.
It's an unusual foot in the door kind of thing, but it would cover both your wide range of interests, provide some income and gain you both experience and a reputation that might lead to the kind of job offers you want.

I hope you have a very Happy Birthday :D and many more of them too.

:grouphug:
Mary
Exactly the steps I took, grants/ benefits & government help.
Left school in 1985 with no education & because of that someone told me I’m eligible for help.
If it was before 1992 they have no evidence(something to do with computers?)
I’ve now a level 1,2 & 3 NVQ in construction/ building maintenance. Dry stone walling 1&2..even my PASMA scaffold & PAL(scissor/boom lift were free).
You may have to fight/argue for your corner like I do, but it is out there, the people doing the courses are still going to get paid.
My next is to learn Italian.
Tutti il meglio.(all the best)
 
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Paul_B

Bushcrafter through and through
Jul 14, 2008
6,413
1,702
Cumbria
49?! You're my age, 12th December so you're younger. I always thought you were a lot younger than me for some reason. Your posts seemed like a mature but younger person to me. I must be a poor judge at times. I mean no offence by this comment.

BTW I'm in a job earning a little above minimum wage yet have two degrees. I don't work in anything my degrees were related to. I've been in such jobs for 20 plus years. I took the view I needed a job more than I needed a job in the area of my degree, at least at first, but then I got sucked into a rut that my recent experience wouldn't have helped me get back into my degree fields. I got tired into a dead end. Redundancy and joining a local company through contacts dropped my pay a lot hence just above minimum wage.

Unfortunately life sucks sometimes and you might have to take what you can. I'm not sure you're there yet Tengu. I still see you as a beacon of persistence who won't settle but will get there. It's always good when one of us escapes drudgery into a job they love. Keep on with the struggle.
 
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TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
10,992
4,099
50
Exeter
BTW I'm in a job earning a little above minimum wage yet have two degrees. I don't work in anything my degrees were related to. I've been in such jobs for 20 plus years. I took the view I needed a job more than I needed a job in the area of my degree, at least at first, but then I got sucked into a rut that my recent experience wouldn't have helped me get back into my degree fields. I got tired into a dead end. Redundancy and joining a local company through contacts dropped my pay a lot hence just above minimum wage.

Can I enquire what the degrees are in Paul?

And what is you job role currently?
 

TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
10,992
4,099
50
Exeter
Unfortunately life sucks sometimes and you might have to take what you can. I'm not sure you're there yet Tengu. I still see you as a beacon of persistence who won't settle but will get there. It's always good when one of us escapes drudgery into a job they love. Keep on with the struggle.


Indeed , it can.

And many may think my ' Embrace the Suck ' comment was somewhat flippant but to explain I mean it much more in a classical Stoic school of thought.


Life does suck at times.
Massively.
It is still a reason to grind , persevere, ( have a break down - Although I pray not ) , get back up, grind some more , change tack , rethink , grind, and try as best as you can to ACCEPT life is sucky a lot of the time.

Stoicism really is a bit of an antidote to self-pity.
And I know self-pity can be an easy reach alternative, but Stoicism is a better cure.
 
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Machiavelli

Full Member
May 21, 2009
135
73
Good Ole' Lancashire
Have a wonderful birthday!

I do think that it’s really important to define what success means to you. Often we spend life pursuing the wrong things (jobs, money, status) and end up so far down the rabbit hole it can be hard to get back out.

As I have said in other threads, I was fortunate to earn a very good living at a young age, but it made me incredibly unhappy.

I now pursue a much simpler life as a bee farmer, with more hives than I can reasonably count. Strangely this career move was completely by chance, but working and living off the land has been one of the best decisions I have ever made — a version the Wall Street me would have laughed at.

Take some time over your birthday and the New Year to think about what you really want to prioritise in life. I think it’s always good to reflect, even if the answer stays the same.
 

Tengu

Full Member
Jan 10, 2006
13,031
1,642
51
Wiltshire
Im sorry.

Ive been so angsty I did tell you what I have been up to.

Blogging. (Local blogger, Sporting Heritage Group, Museum of Design in Plastics...I didnt plan this, fell into all three)

Helping out with the Swindon Mechanics Institute

Wrote report for the Neurodiverse museum. (paid work!)

Helping the local Sailability group. (I joined them as something active to do during the summer...and volunteering is a grand way to have fun).

Two conference papers this year. Energy Archives and Theoretical Archaeology Conference.

Im starting up with our local Community radio

on a Masters course at the Cultural Heritage Institute (just opened) Conservation and Management of Historic Buildings.
 

TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
10,992
4,099
50
Exeter
Im sorry.

Ive been so angsty I did tell you what I have been up to.

Blogging. (Local blogger, Sporting Heritage Group, Museum of Design in Plastics...I didnt plan this, fell into all three)

Helping out with the Swindon Mechanics Institute

Wrote report for the Neurodiverse museum. (paid work!)

Helping the local Sailability group. (I joined them as something active to do during the summer...and volunteering is a grand way to have fun).

Two conference papers this year. Energy Archives and Theoretical Archaeology Conference.

Im starting up with our local Community radio

on a Masters course at the Cultural Heritage Institute (just opened) Conservation and Management of Historic Buildings.

Puts quite a different spin on it when you look at the positive accomplishments that you've undertaken and completed.

Well done you Tengu.
 
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Scottieoutdoors

Settler
Oct 22, 2020
889
635
Devon
Hey Tengu, you and I haven't had much interaction, but I feel like I'm gonna add my 2 cents... I struggled with a project which ran on way way way too long, it pushed me back years in life/job/etc. The entire time I felt down, I felt like I was chasing all the time, I felt I was behind the curve, I felt like I was being judged by everyone probably all the feelings you've got going on, my main goal was to try as hard as I could to maintain an air of positivity no matter what came my way... now I'm on the road I need to be on for the moment, I'm building on my life, the project is complete and onto a new stage around it all.

So in a manner, I'm the other side of the cr*p... how does it feel? In one manner not kuchen different to before... money is coming in, but not at a phenomenal rate, now my worries have shifted sideways. But all in all, I've realised that there were 2 kinds of people in my life, those who offered me help/support/love/an ear....and those who wanted to be involved to know the details but gave me no sort of support of friendship or kindness and frankly, since stuff is more on track its made me realise that those people can go and jump.

I'm not sure what I can suggest to you, other than to keep a positive head on, surround yourself with supportive people who can help you grow and try not to pass up too many opportunities because you might deem them to not be perfect or lesser than what you think you should be offered.
 
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Aneirin

Member
Dec 6, 2021
35
20
56
Llanfair Caereinion
Tomorrow will be my 49th Birthday (I know this is young compared to many of you)

Which means it is my 50th year.

And so far I have not got a job.

Which means I have been looking now for 30 years...

Why am I not successful like other people? I want to get ahead. You know me, I am a highly intelligent person with many skills and a nice personality.

Why cant I get ahead? I am getting very depressed about the whole subject. I want the respect of my family (and indeed everyone else) and I need money for things like pension schemes and investments.
Mate, screw the respect of others. If you measure success based on other people's success then you're on a downward spiral.

You are a beautiful, amazing expression of life in it's essence.
 
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