Survival - The lighter side

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wattsy

Native
Dec 10, 2009
1,111
3
Lincoln
'any limbs that receive cuts, scratches or bites should be removed immediately'

:D good laugh that cheers
 

mclark

Forager
Dec 29, 2009
182
0
38
sitting under a tree
"I read somewhere that if there is no water available, you can drink your own urine so I always take a two litre bottle of it wherever I go just in case"

i dont think so , in survival training with the army you are told never to drink your own urine because of the amount of iodine in it

"Find some means of alerting rescuers to your whereabouts. If you are lost in a desert, writing a large SOS in the sand with your water is an effective means of drawing attention."

thats if you dont die from dehydration first
 

Bushwhacker

Banned
Jun 26, 2008
3,882
8
Dorset
"I read somewhere that if there is no water available, you can drink your own urine so I always take a two litre bottle of it wherever I go just in case"

i dont think so , in survival training with the army you are told never to drink your own urine because of the amount of iodine in it

"Find some means of alerting rescuers to your whereabouts. If you are lost in a desert, writing a large SOS in the sand with your water is an effective means of drawing attention."

thats if you dont die from dehydration first

Apart from those two, the other advice is ok.
 

bojit

Native
Aug 7, 2010
1,173
0
56
Edinburgh
I'm going to see if i can get his survival book for

the wife for xmas :argue:

Craig..............
 
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mclark

Forager
Dec 29, 2009
182
0
38
sitting under a tree
"Always build your wall out of non combustible materials as wild animals will often attempt to gain access by using fire."
what world is this guy living in ?

"If you have emergency flares, taping several dozen to your legs and setting them off at the same time will allow you to hover above the wolves for several seconds, safe from their snapping jaws." ***
 

mclark

Forager
Dec 29, 2009
182
0
38
sitting under a tree
"If you have emergency flares, taping several dozen to your legs and setting them off at the same time will allow you to hover above the wolves for several seconds, safe from their snapping jaws." ***


"Always build your wall out of non combustible materials as wild animals will often attempt to gain access by using fire."

what world is this guy living in ?

this has to be the best one

"Befriend large animals such as bears to protect you from smaller ones. A bear can easily be mollified by running towards it yelling."

befriend a bear ????? more like end up as its lunch
 

MSkiba

Settler
Aug 11, 2010
842
1
North West
Mclark its meant to be funny and not taken seriously hahaha Its not the actual recommended survival guide

Really like the link thanks for sharing!
 

darrenleroy

Nomad
Jul 15, 2007
351
0
51
London
I couldn't work out if you had contracted a rare disease that eliminates the understanding of ironic humour. Thanks for clearing that up, mate!
 

mclark

Forager
Dec 29, 2009
182
0
38
sitting under a tree
I couldn't work out if you had contracted a rare disease that eliminates the understanding of ironic humour. Thanks for clearing that up, mate!
nah mate i knew it was ment to be funny , i cant wait to show my survival instructor when i get back at the weekend , i bet he his laugh his bottom off about it , bloody hell i did lol
 
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SCOMAN

Life Member
Dec 31, 2005
2,583
452
53
Perthshire
V jealous of mcclark he has his own survival instructor. I have to put up with RM and BG fighting over the tree in the back of my garden.
 

mclark

Forager
Dec 29, 2009
182
0
38
sitting under a tree
V jealous of mcclark he has his own survival instructor. I have to put up with RM and BG fighting over the tree in the back of my garden.
i dont have my own survival instructor mate , im in the army and was doing a survival course as a trade before i went to kandahar and ill continue doing it when i get back
 

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