Stoopid jokes
- Thread starter nickliv
- Start date
My mate has been collecting the "Osteopathy Monthly Magazine" for 20 years. He says that he has a lot of back issues.
One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The barman asks the man what he wants.
The man says “Oh just a beer”.
The barman asked the man “What's wrong,why are you so down today?”.
The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she wouldn't talk to me for a month”.
The barman said “So what's wrong with that?"
The man said “Well, the month is up tonight”.
The man says “Oh just a beer”.
The barman asked the man “What's wrong,why are you so down today?”.
The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she wouldn't talk to me for a month”.
The barman said “So what's wrong with that?"
The man said “Well, the month is up tonight”.
It’s not his first, or his last gaff. In fact, that’s very mild by comparison to some.
This tickled me.
When I was in Dubai, I was amazed that the people there do not like the Flintstones, when the people in Abu Dhabi do.
Out bird watching today, bumped into Sinead O'Connor, I asked if she'd seen much, she told me "so far it's been seven Owls and fifteen Jays."
I was in the garden the other day when I heard music. I looked around and realised it was coming from the veg patch. As I walked over I could hear it was actually Bee Gees songs!!
I just couldn't find where it was coming from and eventually I got down on my hands and knees to see if I could find the source. Finally I realised it was in the herb section, then it struck me...............................
.....................
It was just the Chives talkin'!
I just couldn't find where it was coming from and eventually I got down on my hands and knees to see if I could find the source. Finally I realised it was in the herb section, then it struck me...............................
.....................
It was just the Chives talkin'!
Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other "can you smell fish?"
One says to the other "can you smell fish?"
Two sausages and an egg are in a frying pan.
The egg says "it's bloody hot in here!"
One sausage turns to the other and says "hey, did you hear that? A talking egg!!"
The egg says "it's bloody hot in here!"
One sausage turns to the other and says "hey, did you hear that? A talking egg!!"
My wife's driving me to drink.
Lucky man, me!
Saves me getting a taxi.
I'll get my coat...
Lucky man, me!
Saves me getting a taxi.
I'll get my coat...
My wife said that sex is better on holiday.
.
.
Let me tell you...that was not a nice postcard to get.
.
.
Let me tell you...that was not a nice postcard to get.
My mate has lost a ton of weight during lockdown by wearing two slices of bread on his head.
He calls it his loaf hat diet.
Windy.
He calls it his loaf hat diet.
Windy.
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