Stoopid jokes
- Thread starter nickliv
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I met a bloke in the pub last night, he tried to sell me eight venison legs for 80quid, is that too deer.
What's the difference between peas and bogies, you can get kids to eat peas.
Did you know six out of seven dwarves aren’t happy.
I use to be schizophrenic, but I’m better now ,,,,,,,, so am I.
What's the difference between peas and bogies, you can get kids to eat peas.
Did you know six out of seven dwarves aren’t happy.
I use to be schizophrenic, but I’m better now ,,,,,,,, so am I.
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what do you call a man wearing a raincoat? Mac
what do you call a man wearing 2 raincoats? Max
What do you call a man wearing 2 raincoats standing in the middle of a cemetary? Max Bygraves
what do you call a man wearing 2 raincoats? Max
What do you call a man wearing 2 raincoats standing in the middle of a cemetary? Max Bygraves
Two chess champions are staying in the same hotel... they meet in the lobby one evening and start to argue about who's had the best career.
Hotel manager storms into the lobby and tells them both to leave. They look at him puzzled and ask why.
He replies "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"
Hotel manager storms into the lobby and tells them both to leave. They look at him puzzled and ask why.
He replies "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"
Did you hear about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic?
Lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
Lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
Two Aberdonian loons are having breakfast in a Parisian cafe whilst on holiday.
The first says "Sandy! Ye ken whit? I think that waitress fancies me."
"Fit macks ye say that Iain?"
"Weel, when she asked how many eggs I'd like fir mah breakfast I said twa. And ye ken whit? She brocht me THREE!"
I'll get mah jaiket!
Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.
The first says "Sandy! Ye ken whit? I think that waitress fancies me."
"Fit macks ye say that Iain?"
"Weel, when she asked how many eggs I'd like fir mah breakfast I said twa. And ye ken whit? She brocht me THREE!"
I'll get mah jaiket!
Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.
Hunter: Did anyone see where that deer went?
Deer: I think I ate too much my tummy feels like it's about to explode.
Hunter: oh dear
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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A ship is slowly sinking and there are no lifeboats, no chance of rescue.
A woman runs onto the deck, strips completely naked and proclaims "If I'm going to die, I want to feel like a complete woman! Is there a man here that can make me a complete woman?"
A man walks slowly up to her, removing his shirt as he gets closer before offering out his hand and replies "Here, iron this."
A woman runs onto the deck, strips completely naked and proclaims "If I'm going to die, I want to feel like a complete woman! Is there a man here that can make me a complete woman?"
A man walks slowly up to her, removing his shirt as he gets closer before offering out his hand and replies "Here, iron this."
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