Secret Bushcrafter's Ball

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Toadflax

Native
Mar 26, 2007
1,783
5
64
Oxfordshire
After a night racking my brains for some more clever quips...

Suckin' on frozen flames ter keep warm. Thou all 'ad it eeaasssy.

We nower 'ad flint an' steel ter light our fires. We 'ad ter argue wi' t' missus 'til the sparks flew, and then we 'ad ter catch them in t' fluff we gathered from our own belly buttons. That's 'ow we 'ad ter light fires.

An' if the missus weren't in an argutative mood, we 'ad ter sting our sens all ower wi' nettles so that t' smartin' would keep us warm.

An' look at us now. We've come a long way. We've got servants to do all that fer us. "I say, lad! Young Mears ower there. Keep that mahogany bowdrill goin'. We got grilled bear fer us dinner tonight."

Geoff
 

Bushwhacker

Banned
Jun 26, 2008
3,882
8
Dorset
We were so poor my mum used to make us throw stones at steam trains, hoping that an angry fireman would lob a chunk of coal back at us.
 
May 14, 2006
311
4
55
Consett County Durham
You ad it cushy!. . .
We wuz so poor we couldn' afford knives we ad to sharpen us teeth on rocks from t' river and we couldn't afford wood niether so us used to make us feather sticks be chewing our used hedgehogs with us bushcraft teeth!.
 

Wilderbeast

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Dec 9, 2008
2,036
9
32
Essex-Cardiff
you were lucky,

When I were a lad we didn't have implements of varying sharpness. If we wanted to cut anything we'd have to bash our own teeth out wit' tree trunk, stick it ont stick with the ooze from our sores and then strop ont our leathery soled feet
 

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