Just to snip your post, 4 days either way would be way too much for me, just saying, I know what you mean though, personally I think it'll be the plane for me.
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Four people in a car - even a big one - wouldn't work, as the amount of kit each could bring would be limited to about that you could take on a plane. Admittedly, I took too much with me - basically loading in anything I thought I might need, or want to play with, but even so the car - a big 4x4 - was loaded to the gunnels. I folded up two-thirds of the rear seats to get my pulk (Fjellpulken 130) in, for example. I could have put on a 500litre top-box, but didn't want the car to be too top-heavy. And the logistical problems would be bigger too. Some would want a straight-through drive without much stopping, but that way you'd miss the benefits of a road trip - stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. I wanted to stop at the Mora sales outlet, for example, which in turn took me on the inland route to Jokkmokk.
You also need to be realistic about the time you need to drive there. It's 2000 miles plus each way - you ain't going to be doing that in a day and a half! (remember that the last 4-500 miles will be on snow-covered roads) Allow at least 3 days - preferably 4 - to do it with some degree of sanity.
As far as car prep goes, I got the engine oil changed to a low-temp mix, and ditto the coolant. Full service of course, making sure bake pads had at least 5000 miles left in them. Tyres - I had some M&S tyres already on the car, about half-worn. These were only just about adequate (and then only with 4wd -high range operating), and In future I'd replace them with genuine winter tyres. Battery wasn't new, but it only let me down once, and after a 4 hour wait I managed to get a jump start from a passing motorist. This was the first car that passed me! Next time I'll take a big spare in an insulated box, kept warm with the occasional Hot Hands sachet. Ideally it would be a lithium one, but the costs of these are still astronomical.
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I did actually looked at this route before I went last year. From memory, it takes between 27 and 40 hours depending on the date, and you had to buy cabins as well. Worked out a lot more in cash including diesel than the driving route via Dover.