I can picture it...BBC News...police track down marmite theft, only half the load recovered, bcuk badges found on scene, one culprit captured..."so Toddy, how did you do it?" "well, we tracked the wee truck, built a roadblock with our knives, laid traps for the baddies, capture them, saved the day an then some bozo opened it up, ohh the smell, it's heaven...irresistible....they tried to stop me but this wee lass commands a regiment of ferrel scots......the rest I history"