A recent thread elsewhere set me thinking.
All too often in schools and workplaces bullies get away because the "meek" do not stand up for themselves and then do not tell teacher or make a complaint. Other meek observers do nothing for fear of attracting attention and getting in the cross-hairs of the bully. This is rational risk avoidance behavior (as in economics) at the individual level and is quite understandable. It is flight and freeze behaviour
The education system and workplace culture discourages any attempt to stand up for oneself and the only "appropriate" response is to make a report. If you assert yourself you get into trouble too. But this is also a natural response - Fight behaviour
But in some cultures, Anglo-Australian for instance, "telling" gets you in trouble for "dubbing" on others and can make you more of a social outcast.
Apart from the effect on the self confidence of the complaining child/person this has a knock on effect on the whole society and discourages "whistle blowing' on serious criminal acts. Which is why Australia has a high rate of corruption and organised crime.
Our girls have been raised on the principle that "She will never have to rely on any bloke for anything". This has meant simply being physically active and competent with their hands so they "do" camping, use knives and know how to use cordage. etc.
Recently, while talking with our 11 year old about the difference between aggression and assertiveness she interrupted to say "Oh I've done that".
A 13 year old boy had taken her drink and started drinking from it. She told him it was hers and to lay off. He ignored her and continued drinking with his mates. The drink vanishing before her eyes, she told him to get her another one. Again he ignored her.
She then gave him a roundhouse knock-you-down full open hand whack across his face. He didn't fall down but he was pretty shaken. Threatened with another he meekly went and got her another drink.
In another instance, a different boy pulled her hair and received a boxing on his ears.
She has not been picked on since.
We never knew about this. She matter of factly explained the culture. One is supposed to complain but repeated complaints label you a whiner but she was not content to remain meek. Getting into a fight means you get detention.
While we do not need vigilantism the system should encourage reporting and but also understand that defending oneself and turning the tables is an appropriate response too.
Sometimes we have to fight to defend our freedoms whether as societies or individuals and if our ability to fight as individuals is weakened then we cannot effectively fight as a society.
All too often in schools and workplaces bullies get away because the "meek" do not stand up for themselves and then do not tell teacher or make a complaint. Other meek observers do nothing for fear of attracting attention and getting in the cross-hairs of the bully. This is rational risk avoidance behavior (as in economics) at the individual level and is quite understandable. It is flight and freeze behaviour
The education system and workplace culture discourages any attempt to stand up for oneself and the only "appropriate" response is to make a report. If you assert yourself you get into trouble too. But this is also a natural response - Fight behaviour
But in some cultures, Anglo-Australian for instance, "telling" gets you in trouble for "dubbing" on others and can make you more of a social outcast.
Apart from the effect on the self confidence of the complaining child/person this has a knock on effect on the whole society and discourages "whistle blowing' on serious criminal acts. Which is why Australia has a high rate of corruption and organised crime.
Our girls have been raised on the principle that "She will never have to rely on any bloke for anything". This has meant simply being physically active and competent with their hands so they "do" camping, use knives and know how to use cordage. etc.
Recently, while talking with our 11 year old about the difference between aggression and assertiveness she interrupted to say "Oh I've done that".
A 13 year old boy had taken her drink and started drinking from it. She told him it was hers and to lay off. He ignored her and continued drinking with his mates. The drink vanishing before her eyes, she told him to get her another one. Again he ignored her.
She then gave him a roundhouse knock-you-down full open hand whack across his face. He didn't fall down but he was pretty shaken. Threatened with another he meekly went and got her another drink.
In another instance, a different boy pulled her hair and received a boxing on his ears.
She has not been picked on since.
We never knew about this. She matter of factly explained the culture. One is supposed to complain but repeated complaints label you a whiner but she was not content to remain meek. Getting into a fight means you get detention.
While we do not need vigilantism the system should encourage reporting and but also understand that defending oneself and turning the tables is an appropriate response too.
Sometimes we have to fight to defend our freedoms whether as societies or individuals and if our ability to fight as individuals is weakened then we cannot effectively fight as a society.
