Upset

[Tengu]

Well, Im thinking of going to College and I met up with my Shrink.

He had been talking to my tutors at St Loyes, and they were full of praise for me. Even when he played devils advocate and said `well, I dont think shes capable of that` they put him right.

But Im upset.

And do you know why?

I dont feel `at all` like that wonderful person. I get a bit mad at my father when he puts me down. (dad, of course, is the first to sing my praises when I do something right) but I fear that his veiw is more accurate.

 

[Gailainne]

Your Dads view isn't subjective, it can't be, he's your Dad. If you think you can cope, your shrink does, and your tutors agree, don't doubt, go for it. What are you thinking of studying?

 

[Tengu]

Oh, its not the issue of coping, its the fact I dont feel like what they say

Maths, Chemistry and Physics

 

[nickliv]

Tengu

If it's any consolation, you've grown up with your Dads impression of you driving everything you do, and you wouldn't dream of going against what you think is his 'better' judgement.

If you and those around you who will have experience of such things think you'll be able to do it, you will.

Personal evidence.

The day I passed my driving test, I rang Dad, and told him I'd failed, to gauge his reaction. 'I knew you wouldn't pass, you're not good enough' was the reply. A degree of humble pie was eaten when he learnt the truth.

Only recently, aged 36, with a wife, 3 kids, and a good job under me has he told me that he's proud of me. It's the greatest thing he's ever said to me. But I had to go out and earn his pride. All I can suggest is that you go on out on a bit of a limb and make your old man proud. You'll thank yourself for years.

The greatest motivator is sometimes being told you won't be able to do something.

 

[Toddy]

What they said

Dad's can be the biggest worryworts on the planet. They just don't want to see you struggle or maybe not do as well as you hoped and be disappointed. So they kind of persuade you to play it safe.

Go for it girl make your own choices, based on well considered advice from people who, one would assume, are more used to making such assessments than your Dad is.

Best of luck with it

atb,
M

 

[Wild Thing]

Hi Tengu

I was born blind in one eye 45 years ago.

Back then I was treated as "special" and not allowed to do a lot of the things a young boy needs to do in case I dameged the other eye. They sent me to a special school for the disabled and told me I would never hold down a proper job.

I thought sod that and got myself transferred to a normal school, got my exams and and now have qualifications in customer service as well as IT and I lead the First Aid team and do the audio visuals at my Church.

If I had listened to the people that said I can't do it, I would have probably left school with no qualifications at all.

Don't worry what anyone esle thinks, If you think you can do it, then go for it and when you have the qualifications at the end of it, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you were right (as well as the praise and admiration of those around you).

Good luck with the courses.

Regards

Phill

 

[Miyagi]

Oh, its not the issue of coping, its the fact I dont feel like what they say

Maths, Chemistry and Physics

No one knows you but you.

Your Parents and "others" you mentioned know the younger, or dependant you.

They don't know the independant person you're trying to become, they're held back by their past knowledge/experience of you.

Parents especially, forget that their children grow up and become independant/own views/likes and dislikes etc. Classic mistake.

If someone is a late developer then their parents view is even more ingrained and protectively prejudiced.

Some parents can't help it, but unfortunately they forget that everyone grows up.

You'll convince them Tengu, it won't be easy and will get worse before it gets better.

Your talents and choices/hobbies are obvious to us hen, but - like most of us on here -probably alien to your family/parents.

Good subject choices by the way Tengu.

I wasn't (still aren't) switched on enough to be able to even attempt those subjects.

All the best hen,

Liam

 

[jonnie drake]

physics? dont be silly go for bio I did maths chem and bio A-level go for it, they are all great. Kinda wished I'd have done geo too. Ah well can't have em all.

 

[lab72]

I dont know you ,but you have to do what feels right for you ,no one can say what you can do or not can do .

 

[wicca]

Tengu, 95% of shrinks are nuts anyway, listen to your tutors and follow your heart. I didn't start school until I was almost 10 and left at 15, now look at me...still as thick as two short planks and with the IQ of a chocolate mouse but reeeely happy..

PS. The storm jib works a treat..good luck with your courses.

 

[JonathanD]

No one really knows what you are capable of, not even you until you push the boundaries. The good news is, you will continually surprise yourself and others. The unknown is scary and the courage and conviction of taking that one step into it is brilliant, sometimes you don't even need the courage, you just close you eyes and step.... The bad news is, if you don't take that step, the older and wiser you get, the more you realise you could have done it, and regret is like a deathwatch beetle in your soul. Go for it!!!!

 

[lab72]

still as thick as two short planks and with the IQ of a chocolate mouse but reeeely happy..:lmao

Me too

 

[Miyagi]

I didn't start school until I was almost 10 and left at 15, now look at me...still as thick as two short planks and with the IQ of a chocolate mouse but reeeely happy..

You're a better man than I am Gunga Dim.

I'm as poor as a Church mouse and have the IQ of a dish cloth - never been happier.

Liam

 

[JonathanD]

I'm as poor as a Church mouse and have the IQ of a dish cloth - never been happier.

Liam

I disagree, the bacteria on a dish cloth would make such a comparison in the dish cloths favour.

 

[Miyagi]

I disagree, the bacteria on a dish cloth would make such a comparison in the dish cloths favour.

Hahahahaaa.

JD's findings are based on a lifetime's experience of having been "flicked" with more wet dish cloths/towels than a career Matador has shaken his cape.

I bow to your greater knowledge.

 

[Hoodoo]

As a former college dropout and now a college professor, I can tell you that there are two things that, if you possess them, will most likely lead to success. 1) enthusiasm for learning and 2) the ability to work very very hard. Learning is hard work and enthusiasm for learning makes it easier, no matter what the topic. The first time I sat in a chemistry class, I was clueless. Ten years later I took the same class and set the curve in the class. Same brain, different attitude.

 

[JonathanD]

I bow to your greater knowledge.

I have the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

 

[Miyagi]

I have the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

I feel your pain.

I've been called incorrigible and a dirigible but never insoluble.

Insolvency is different, I remember it as a fad of the 80's involving Evostick...

 

[drewdunnrespect]

three words for you teng GO FOR IT

 

[pteron]

No one really knows what you are capable of, not even you until you push the boundaries. The good news is, you will continually surprise yourself and others. The unknown is scary and the courage and conviction of taking that one step into it is brilliant, sometimes you don't even need the courage, you just close you eyes and step.... The bad news is, if you don't take that step, the older and wiser you get, the more you realise you could have done it, and regret is like a deathwatch beetle in your soul. Go for it!!!!

Well said that man!