Unusual request

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Woody girl

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Mar 31, 2018
2,823
1,922
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Exmoor
What about take away deliveries. Chinese, Indian, fish and chips, (pies and sausages too) pizza? Money may be an issue but maybe family can send him a takeaway once or twice a week. I'd be tempted to turn up with a wide mouth flask filled with a home made stew.
Just trying to come up with alternative ideas.
It might be nice to take a large pizza with you when you visit and share it together so he's not always eating with the aged or on his own.
 
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Tengu

Full Member
Jan 10, 2006
10,996
521
47
Wiltshire
Huel?

Who eats that except Darth Vader?

Lets face it, we all have eating issues at times, mostly due to time constraints and maybe lack of facilities.

And faddy eating is a danger, -particularly, I think to those on their own. (an increasing demographic) no one wants to cook for themselves every day.

I have known some single people on horrendous diets.
 

Nice65

Full Member
Apr 16, 2009
4,833
1,448
55
W.Sussex
I did alright without anything other than a kettle for a few weeks once. I had a fridge though, so ate cooked meats, coleslaws, fresh uncooked veg. It was ok, people seemed horrified I had no cooking facilities. I only used the kettle for a cup of tea or Bovril. I’m still a fan of the rather disgusting tinned chicken, I keep buying dodgy looking jars and tins off the Polish shelf in the supermarket and mainly find them good. The French know how to can stuff too, there are whole aisles devoted to canned pâtés and meats in the shops.

Depends what the guy likes to eat really. Sounds like he’s in a crappy situation, so stuff he likes rather than stuff that’s super healthy. All about morale, he’s had a hell of a shock.
 
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demographic

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Apr 15, 2005
4,294
287
-------------
This won't be a food comment but not so long ago I was working in an old folks home, with lots of slightly confused residents.

Those places are kind of geared towards keeping the residents inside and not ambling around in traffic.
I don't know how mobile this chap is but if he's ok for moving about a bit, make sure he can come and go from the place.
Often done with keycards and the residents have varying levels of how many doors they can get through.

Seriously, have a look round the place, Ive been in a nice one and came home and asked my daughter that if it looked like I had to go to a place like that could she leave a skateboard at the top of the steps.

Basically after seeing some staff use gentle but firm peer pressure to keep residents where they wanted them I hated the place. Try and get the chap out and about as much as possible, make sure he has the permissions to get through the doors he's capable of coping with.
The staff might not always be helpful with this and I'm definitely not an expert in this field, make up your own mind.

Is it obvious that the one I worked in scared the crap out of me?
 

Toddy

Mod
Mod
Jan 21, 2005
35,869
1,930
S. Lanarkshire
Hear! hear!
I came to the conclusion that they were the scrapyards of humanity, and I don't care how prettily they've been decorated, I'm in absolutely no notion of ever being incarcerated in one.

I know that must hurt those who have to see that their elderly are resident, but I'd rather have a terminal accident, tbh.

M
 

Woody girl

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Mar 31, 2018
2,823
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Exmoor
I'm not a good patient for even a couple of nights in hospital let alone spending the rest of my days in a home!
It's such a heart rending situation to go from independence to reliance on others in a few moments. No wonder hes kicking up about food. It's one way to protest about not being able to make your own decisions.
 

demographic

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Apr 15, 2005
4,294
287
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I'm not trying to portray old folks homes as intrinsically evil, the people there are really trying to help.
Its just that so many of the residents are struggling to cope and the staff are underfunded and so on so they sometimes kind of smother the ones who are more capable.

Thing is, that can be too much loss of control for some people.
My mother is 86 years old and still driving around, living in a home would drive her nuts.
If the person is capable, try to ensure they can get over the wire/in the tunnel/out the front door.

Again, I'm no expert. Just a carpenter who has worked in a few old folks homes putting TVs up on the wall and spoke to the residents while I was in there.
 

Janne

Guest
Feb 10, 2016
12,368
2,262
Grand Cayman, Norway, Sweden
As a student, I worked in homes for old people that could not take care of themselves, plus in wards with young damaged people ( MS, accidents, stuff like that.)
I found that what they lacked most was to talk to somebody. Despite being in a ward full of other patients and staff, nobody sat down and talked with them, in their old pace.

A stroke affects not only the obvious, but also his 'thinking' and perception. He needs comforting, being visited by his family.

My heart is with him.
 

camperman

Member
Mar 14, 2015
10
5
sidcup
What about take away deliveries. Chinese, Indian, fish and chips, (pies and sausages too) pizza? Money may be an issue but maybe family can send him a takeaway once or twice a week. I'd be tempted to turn up with a wide mouth flask filled with a home made stew.
Just trying to come up with alternative ideas.
It might be nice to take a large pizza with you when you visit and share it together so he's not always eating with the aged or on his own.
We turned up with a wide mouth thermos of pork and chorizo stew. Went down well. Also pot noodles and the like. I didn't know there were so many varieties. He'll get a home cooked meal once a week at least.
 

Woody girl

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Mar 31, 2018
2,823
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Exmoor
Well done.
I'm trying to think of other things that might go in a wide mouth flask that don't take a lot of prep to make a special meal. So far I can only think of stews, goulash and those sort of things. Maybe someone has a brilliant idea along this theme?
 

Mark Baigent

Full Member
Well done.
I'm trying to think of other things that might go in a wide mouth flask that don't take a lot of prep to make a special meal. So far I can only think of stews, goulash and those sort of things. Maybe someone has a brilliant idea along this theme?
I put a full English breakfast in mine, scambled egg, chopped up sausage and bacon, baked beans (most of the sauce drained away, and a hash brown and mushrooms, make it just before the visit.
 
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oldtimer

Full Member
My father was Director of Social Services for a large city on the South Coast. Part of his brief was to oversee the management of the local authority run old people's homes. At the end of the last century, these were satisfactorily funded and were well run by dedicated staff. My father had picked out which of these homes he wanted to go into when he was no longer capable of looking after himself and was quite looking forward to ending his days in one of the establishments for which he had been responsible. My mother viewed the prospect with absolute horror. In the event, my father died of cancer at home at the age of 77 and my mother stayed in the flat they had shared until she was 94. I wish I could say that she was independent, but although she was still travelling into her 80s, by the time she died she needed help with even the most basic of things. Due to political decisions, the provision she received was woeful, with underpaid and overworked carers from private, profit making agencies striving to fill the breach. I felt helpless and frustrated, as by then we were were based in France and looking after my wife's terminally ill stepmother.

I well remember one client who seems very similar to Camperman's friend from when my father was still in post. An architect in his late 50s had to have live in care in one of the homes because of physical problems although all other faculties were intact and the only suitable placement was in an old people's home. He hated it, was very unhappy and eventually came to be seen as "difficult" by the staff and my father had to deal with this. By coincidence I was working at the time with this man's son and was able to get the picture from both sides. I wish I could report a happy ending, but I can't. It would seem to be an unanswerable problem which has become more difficult nowadays.

Having just had my 78th birthday, the problems posed by decreasing independence come into sharper focus. Ten years ago, our elder son encouraged us to buy a house within easy reach of where he lives "so we could help with baby sitting" but the grandchildren have now reached an age when if my grandson and I are out in the woods together neither of us is quite sure who is supposed to be looking after whom. We now realise the our son was looking further into the future as we realised in that he was ensuring that he would not have far to go when we need help. He told me he is reconciled to inheriting nothing as all we own will have gone on care fees in our old age.

Some time ago, our sons got quite interested in an account of how the Innuit deal with old age. When the elders can no longer chew and feel they have become a burden on the family, the find a convenient ice floe and drift out to sea to die peacefully of hypothermia. Global warming has relieved us of the worry of receiving one-way tickets to Point Barrow for birthday presents, but I note an increasing volume of on-line searches about Richard Branson's tourist space rocket plans.

Camperman, you are doing the right thing. Food becomes increasing important in such situations, but above all, your care, concern and regular visits will help to alleviate the loneliness and sense of isolation your friend will inevitably be feeling. Good for you Camperman, we all need this kind of friendship!
 

Wayland

Hárbarðr
Late to the party here but the Ainsley Harriot range of cup soups make excellent additions to plain noodles or cous cous.

A range of sauces and condiments is a good idea to have on hand to repair poor food as well.

Sometimes a stroke has dramatic effects on a persons ability to taste or changes the way things taste, so even decent food might not be tickling the right taste buds.
 

santaman2000

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Jan 15, 2011
16,711
990
64
Florida
Late to the party here but the Ainsley Harriot range of cup soups make excellent additions to plain noodles or cous cous.

A range of sauces and condiments is a good idea to have on hand to repair poor food as well.

Sometimes a stroke has dramatic effects on a persons ability to taste or changes the way things taste, so even decent food might not be tickling the right taste buds.
Simply aging can also kill taste buds.
 

demographic

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Apr 15, 2005
4,294
287
-------------
A bit of a side note but one thing one of my brothers has mentioned (he's also a builder but does more private work then me) is that quite a few people (as we get to the point where we have paid off the mortgage and the kids have left home) move out into the country about ten of fifteen years before we start having travel and mobility issues.

Then after living in our dream home just long enough to get it right and love the place, we struggle with public transport, need a stairlift and maybe some form of support. Then that lovely cottage in the country turns out to be constructed entirely out of millstones, they afe often hugely inefficient to heat so cost a fortune to run.
Just because we can drive about now, doesn't mean we will be able to when we are 10 or more years into retirement and heating oil isnt getting any cheaper.
At the very least, make sure the place is properly insulated while you can, some form of renewable energy that doesn't require much effort to use wouldn't go amis either. Wood burning stoves from your own woodland is great, right upto the point where you can't harvest it.

Just something worth thinking about if anyones planning on retirering to a place with feckless public infrastructure and very little insulation.
 
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Robson Valley

Full Member
Nov 24, 2014
8,670
1,628
McBride, BC
I'm living proof of that situation. Demographic knows all the right words.

Leg circulation got so bad I could not stand up for long enough to make a piece of toast.
I have 2 x 1/2 flights of stairs as well. Really good house and very well insulated. Love this place.
Two floors, 1,200 sqft and totally finished. Two whole kitchens. Been in here since 2000.

You can't turn a sow's ear into a silk purse. It will break your bank acount and your heart.
Get a home that needs little in the near term.
I'm getting things done now, but everything has been OK for many years.

Sure, I have a house keeper and a gardener but they can't do everything. Hiring them was
an acknowledgement that my mobility was failing badly. They are OK and I was getting worse by the month.
Our local little hospital will try not to even deliver a baby. Go somewhere else, OK?

Could not cope with the 40 lb bags of compressed wood pellets for my home heating stove downstairs.
That's been a daily or 2X chore every day, all winter plus clean-outs every 12-15 bags or so.

The real problem was that I knew I would have to face would be a downsizing move to assisted living. No stairs and very small.
I really despised that prospect. How the hell can I avoid that? The concept of losing my independence
had no solution that I could see.

I had major surgical repairs done back in August. I can do most anything now without any pain. Extraordinary.
The surgeon made no optimistic predictions about the eventual effects. Much to my pleasant surprise.

No heavy lifting ever again so I'm back on the central heating oil furnace which I can afford.
Now, just how many more years these surgical repairs will last? Who knows?
The rest of my guts are OK. My heart is running just fine and dandy. Lungs are clear.
I feel I'm one of the fortunate few that has been given an honest second chance at pain free mobility.
 
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