The funny and the idiotic mistakes
- Thread starter Ph34r
- Start date
-
Hey Guest, Early bird pricing on the Summer Moot (29th July - 10th August) available until April 6th, we'd love you to come. PLEASE CLICK HERE to early bird price and get more information.
when i was in army cadets i heard a funny story.
every now and then the adult instructors go away for weekends with the TA to get some training and inspiration. whilst on exercise apparently one of the instructors got a bit carried away and thought it was clever to fire his rifle from his left shoulder. there is a very good reason no to with the army's current rifle, as he found out...
BABABANG! went his rifle as he fired a burst and a big ouch i'll expect as the bolt swung back and forth knocking out all his front teeth! :yikes:
Pete
every now and then the adult instructors go away for weekends with the TA to get some training and inspiration. whilst on exercise apparently one of the instructors got a bit carried away and thought it was clever to fire his rifle from his left shoulder. there is a very good reason no to with the army's current rifle, as he found out...
BABABANG! went his rifle as he fired a burst and a big ouch i'll expect as the bolt swung back and forth knocking out all his front teeth! :yikes:
Pete
I was cold at a camp one night and thought I'd brew up in my tent and warm it up in the process.
I ended up setting my tent on fire by knocking over my lit trangia WHILE INSIDE MY TENT AND DRUNK. I had to put out out the flames with my bare hands or I'd have been engulfed in fire.
I just had a small hole in the floor of the awning because I reacted quickly but.... sheesh.:togo:
I ended up setting my tent on fire by knocking over my lit trangia WHILE INSIDE MY TENT AND DRUNK. I had to put out out the flames with my bare hands or I'd have been engulfed in fire.
I just had a small hole in the floor of the awning because I reacted quickly but.... sheesh.:togo:
as my indian name would suggest, I learnt the no sharps when under the influence, a couple of christmasses while enjoying a tasty tawny port, thought i would restock the spoon carving wood, after hurriedly walking past my wife asking her to call an ambulance and then putting my bleeding shin over the bath, i led down and waited for the ridicule to start, only a couple of stery strips to hold it all together, and no trip to hospital, now i have a cool two inch scar and an embarrassing story,
The other day I was scouting out a new piece of woodland that is on a slope and I spent about 10 minutes trying to level out a bit of ground, then I set up my honey stove (square configuration) and put bits of sticks under the corners to make it steadier, I lit my trangia and put a pot of water on for my noodles and added the sachet of seasoning and let it boil. A minute later the stove fell over and spilled meths and water everywhere, I put out the flames with my pot but then didn't have enough meths or water to cook my noodles! To top it off the woodland was rubbish, I got stung by a nettle and it took me twice as long to get home as it did coming out because of the heat!
Sheesh!
Sheesh!
mentioned it in another post but whilst camping after a few ciders i woke up at 4am thirsty reached into the porch of my tent for water grabbed a bottle and drank it lips burnt and luckily before i swallowed i realised it was my meths after spitting it out and countless flushes with water i finally got most of the taste away. I was paranoid id poisoned myself so stayed awake the rest of the night until my mate woke up when i explained what happened he just said for f**ks sake couldn't you wait for the pub to open. It was that last time i kept meths in a sigg bottle (it was bright red and labelled fuel) but in the dark it was the same shape as my water bottle. Still im still alive i guess also i was showing a mate in work how to strike his firesteel with his new knife i explained i didnt like where the striker was (near the point of the knife) i said you may be inclined to put your thumb over the blade whilst doing it at that point i sliced my thumb near down to the bone after a visit to the medic i said see i told you it was a crap design :-D
and whilst im on confession i once had a dicky bic lighter that wouldn't light very well i put it to my ear to check that gas was coming out and for some stupid reason i sparked the flint and singed my ear and surrounding hair
when i was in army cadets i heard a funny story.
every now and then the adult instructors go away for weekends with the TA to get some training and inspiration. whilst on exercise apparently one of the instructors got a bit carried away and thought it was clever to fire his rifle from his left shoulder. there is a very good reason no to with the army's current rifle, as he found out...
BABABANG! went his rifle as he fired a burst and a big ouch i'll expect as the bolt swung back and forth knocking out all his front teeth! :yikes:
Pete
Oooh, there have been many people who have done that.
Hmm, the dumbest stuff I've done? Back in Scouts, when I was a Tenderfoot, I was kneeling with both knees on the ground and using a hatchet, missed the wood and nicked my knee, jabbing a corner of the blade in, so there's a 3/8" scar above the outside of the kneecap. Then a few campouts later, I had my skillet on the fire,knelt on one knee, took the pan off to add more logs without knocking soot and ashes into it, resting my arm on my leg and brushed the pan against the inside of my other knee, burning myself and raising a blister about 1" across.
Another dumb thing I did was sharpening my pocketknife on a ceramic V-stick set, around that same time (early in Scouts), and when I made the downward motion toward the left side, I missed the end of the rod and landed the tip of my very sharp knife into the top of my left wrist, holding the base! I said, "OK it's sharp enough now!"
For as many times as I cut myself back then, it's amazing they didn't kick me out as a danger to myself, or at least take away my "Totin' Chip" card.
Matt in Texas
Another dumb thing I did was sharpening my pocketknife on a ceramic V-stick set, around that same time (early in Scouts), and when I made the downward motion toward the left side, I missed the end of the rod and landed the tip of my very sharp knife into the top of my left wrist, holding the base! I said, "OK it's sharp enough now!"
For as many times as I cut myself back then, it's amazing they didn't kick me out as a danger to myself, or at least take away my "Totin' Chip" card.
Matt in Texas
On a winter camp in the peak district (minus 3 snowy and blowing) myself and a friens unpacked our vango force 10 with extension, smug in the knowledge that it could easily cope with the bad weather.. That is until we found we'd forgot the poles for the tent and only brought the poles for the extension. Luckily with the aid of a drystone wall and some corn we spent a dry but pensive night in half the tent..... Moral "Always double check your gear before departure"
While camping with the missus in a tent, we only had some tea lights to keep the tent warm.. On finding that they weren't warm enough I thought I could get a bit more heat out of them by placing a shaving of hazel in one (left over from some whittling wood earlier) The theory was it would act as a larger wick in the hot wax, and burn off the fuel quicker and brighter!..
After about half hour the thing started hissing and spitting in all directions, with the missus concerned for our safety, she paniced and told me to put it out quick!
A quick puff I thought!.. Made it spit more.. A huff and a puff I did!!??.. Made it quite violent!!.. Sod this.. Feeding it more oxygen is just feeding the flame.. Water me thinks will do the trick!!!!...
Two drops from a can.. And we had a fire ball 2 foot wide 2 foot high going skywards!!.. Luckely it was a Tee Pee and extinguished inches from the roof!!.. Couldn't imagine what would of happened if I'd Used my lower, thinner tent!..Her face was a picture.. after I placed it outside and threw a tea towel over it the face changed though!!.. I was a lot colder for the rest of that night!!.. What with her getting up every two hours to look outside.. Just to make sure it was out!!
After about half hour the thing started hissing and spitting in all directions, with the missus concerned for our safety, she paniced and told me to put it out quick!
A quick puff I thought!.. Made it spit more.. A huff and a puff I did!!??.. Made it quite violent!!.. Sod this.. Feeding it more oxygen is just feeding the flame.. Water me thinks will do the trick!!!!...
Two drops from a can.. And we had a fire ball 2 foot wide 2 foot high going skywards!!.. Luckely it was a Tee Pee and extinguished inches from the roof!!.. Couldn't imagine what would of happened if I'd Used my lower, thinner tent!..Her face was a picture.. after I placed it outside and threw a tea towel over it the face changed though!!.. I was a lot colder for the rest of that night!!.. What with her getting up every two hours to look outside.. Just to make sure it was out!!
forestwalker
Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
For years I had a knife with a sheath with the leather "rough side out". I was 15 at the time, it was that or having it lefty...
forestwalker
Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Heh decided to cook my evening meal in my militray trang, no issues cooking it, but decided to rest the hook between the wind shield and the billy, reasoning being the hook will get hot but the bail will not...
oh you know where this is going..
so the edges of the bail were fine but when i ran my hand round to the top thinking "this'll be cold" i promptly burned my fingers, except i'd already picked it up by this time...
i hastily put it down then did the burned finger dance for 5 mins whilst col laughed his bottom off at me
oddly its always the trang where i fall foul, last time i had decided that it had gone out and figured i'd top it up *WHOOMPH*
thankfully kept my eyebrows..
me and hot things don't mix.
oh you know where this is going..
so the edges of the bail were fine but when i ran my hand round to the top thinking "this'll be cold" i promptly burned my fingers, except i'd already picked it up by this time...
i hastily put it down then did the burned finger dance for 5 mins whilst col laughed his bottom off at me
oddly its always the trang where i fall foul, last time i had decided that it had gone out and figured i'd top it up *WHOOMPH*
thankfully kept my eyebrows..
me and hot things don't mix.
when i was younger in cadets (15 yrs ago) i brought me self an issue goretex bivi bag and decided i would use it on the next available exercise.
So on the next exercise we set up a harbour area and i set up my basha and sleeping gear underneath. I decided in my infinite wisdom to pull the drawstring tight on the bivi bag cos there was a bit of a wind blowing and settled down to sleep.
Needless to say i woke up with a terrible headache from the build up of carbon dioxide inside the bag, this was mistake number one. the second mistake was taking a couple of painkillers and chewing them because i didnt want to waste my water! the resulting taste was so bad i ended up necking half half the bottle of water anyway.
So on the next exercise we set up a harbour area and i set up my basha and sleeping gear underneath. I decided in my infinite wisdom to pull the drawstring tight on the bivi bag cos there was a bit of a wind blowing and settled down to sleep.
Needless to say i woke up with a terrible headache from the build up of carbon dioxide inside the bag, this was mistake number one. the second mistake was taking a couple of painkillers and chewing them because i didnt want to waste my water! the resulting taste was so bad i ended up necking half half the bottle of water anyway.
A few years ago me and the now-wife were camping out by Loch Doon in Ayrshire - morning comes, woken up by some free-roaming sheep bleating past the tent at 7am. So I decide that I'll make the wife a brew and some breakfast. I get out my knife to make a pan-hook/hanger - make a cross cut, then cut the end off. At this point I realise that I shouyldn't have trimmed the end yet, and I go "Ahhh, I'll be fine cutting towards me" :togo:
A few seconds later I ask my wife to pass me the bottle of water, and she calls me lazy for not getting it myself. She looks around and sees blood pouring from my left hand and goes white.
I cleaned it up, nice sharp razor-style cut (benefits of a sharp knife) when the wife says "What's that white thing sticking out of it?"
I opened my first aid kit, got out a pair of tweezers and decided to find out myself (my pride was hurt!).
Every time I pulled on the white thing, my finger jerked. At that point the wife whipped me down to A&E to get it looked at properly!
Luckily it turned out to just be a bit of skin rather than a tendon, but I did get to look at my own tendon when the doctor was patching me back up!
A few seconds later I ask my wife to pass me the bottle of water, and she calls me lazy for not getting it myself. She looks around and sees blood pouring from my left hand and goes white.
I cleaned it up, nice sharp razor-style cut (benefits of a sharp knife) when the wife says "What's that white thing sticking out of it?"
I opened my first aid kit, got out a pair of tweezers and decided to find out myself (my pride was hurt!).
Every time I pulled on the white thing, my finger jerked. At that point the wife whipped me down to A&E to get it looked at properly!
Luckily it turned out to just be a bit of skin rather than a tendon, but I did get to look at my own tendon when the doctor was patching me back up!
ok iv got 1, i was soldering a bettery for one of my airsoft guns and the dog ran in and knocked the lead, automaticly i went to catch the soldering iron (it was set to 400 C). i did actualy catch it but promptly dropped it again (the smell of burning flesh is not a very nice one). after that i had no feeling in half of the palm, the tips of my index, middle, and ring fingers and my thumb of my left hand for about 2 weeks
the weird thing about it is that it actualy felt cold when i caught it.
the weird thing about it is that it actualy felt cold when i caught it.
I achieved to cut my head open with an axe.
I was splitting wood down for a fire at my local scout hut. the bit I was splitting was a farily long peice, and the idea was I would split it, and then snap the split sections in half to fit in the fire.
I brought the axe down, and it lodged in the top. "No problem" thinks I, "I just need to hit the whole thing (wood + axe) against the block a few times.
so I swing the axe and wood down, the wood moves outwards, and hits the edge of the wall just behind my chopping block. the wood bounces off, propelling the back end of the axe into the front of my head.
fortunately it was only a small cut, but gods the headache hurt.
I was splitting wood down for a fire at my local scout hut. the bit I was splitting was a farily long peice, and the idea was I would split it, and then snap the split sections in half to fit in the fire.
I brought the axe down, and it lodged in the top. "No problem" thinks I, "I just need to hit the whole thing (wood + axe) against the block a few times.
so I swing the axe and wood down, the wood moves outwards, and hits the edge of the wall just behind my chopping block. the wood bounces off, propelling the back end of the axe into the front of my head.
fortunately it was only a small cut, but gods the headache hurt.
Similar threads
