Had a great afternoon having a water fight with next doors kids, I was outnumbered and out gunned but I still won, they were no match for me and my kettle.
Stoopid jokes
- Thread starter nickliv
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Two Cannibals chatting after lunch:
"Your wife makes a very good Sunday roast." said the first.
"Yes", the other replied, "but I shall miss her."
"Your wife makes a very good Sunday roast." said the first.
"Yes", the other replied, "but I shall miss her."
Q. What has 4 legs and says "Boo"?
A. A Cow with a cold.
A. A Cow with a cold.
Did we have:
"If a man says something in a forest and no woman is around to hear it, is he still wrong?"
"If a man says something in a forest and no woman is around to hear it, is he still wrong?"
A blind man is at the Optician's with his guide dog. Both are facing the eye test chart on the wall.
The Optician takes the guide dog away, replaces it with another guide dog, and asks "Is that better or worse?".
The Optician takes the guide dog away, replaces it with another guide dog, and asks "Is that better or worse?".
I witnessed my mother in law getting kicked and punched by half a dozen men. My wife screamed are you going to do something to help. I said no, six should be enough.
I've grown an afro, a beard and started to wear glasses. I'm determined to stop people doodling on photographs of me.
I went into the pet shop and said can I buy a wasp please. the shop keeper said we don't sell them. i replied, well there's one in the window
Elton john has put on so much weight recently that he now has to wear clown trousers. He has just released a tribute song; goodbye normal jeans
Elton john has put on so much weight recently that he now has to wear clown trousers. He has just released a tribute song; goodbye normal jeans
Sir Elton has now written a second tribute song to his new trousers. Dangle in the wind.It wasn't that good!
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
He sold his soul to Santa.
My four year old nephew is learning to speak Spanish.But after a few months he still doesn't know the word for please.Which is poor for four.
Just found out that i've failed my German exam.Sacre bleu..
Ive just heard that a rich arab is trying to buy every fish and chip shop in the UK. His name is Sultan Vinegar
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