About the only thing I've seen people complain much as far as recoil is some of the stiffer 3.5" 12 gauge loads, but most people just shoot 2-3/4" loads and most shotguns still only have 3" chambers. You can go into Walmart and get 100 round bulk pack of 2-3/4" 12 gauge shells for $30.
A good example on how recoil is manageable when people are properly taught to shoot is how well the kids in the local 4H shooting program handle the recoil. During the year, a handful of us who are firearms instructors and also certified by 4H to teach their shooting sports courses, will teach gun handling and marksmanship to kids 10 years old and up. The courses and the ammo are free for the kids, subsidized by the local state government. We also get regular grants from the NRA (National Rifle Association) to buy new equipment, and we also work with the Federal government's Civilian Marksmanship Program (CMP). The program runs every year during the late summer, fall, winter, and spring when the current public school year is in session. It just costs the kids a $20 general membership per year to join 4H. The cops let us use their shooting range, which is good because it's got big lights, like at a sports field, so we can shoot at night. During harsh weather, a local gun shop donates the use of their indoor range. For shotguns, we go to a nearby farm and bring automatic clay throwing machines. We also teach hunter safety courses, which is required for underage hunters to hunt. For general shooting skills, we start the kids off on .22LR Anschutz bolt actions and work them up from there. Bow hunting is very popular in this region of the country so we also have an archery program which doesn't cost the kids anything extra to participate in, and I'm one of the archery instructors.
During shotgun training, it's usually the 10 to 12 year olds who use the .410 shotguns while everyone else uses the 20 and 12 gauge shotguns. For centerfire rifle training, the girls and younger boys tend to like the 5.56mm and 7.62x39mm semi-autos due to the lighter recoil while the older boys don't mind the larger calibers. Most of the older girls don't mind the .30-30 lever action for the recoil. All of the kids handle the .50 caliber muzzleloading caplock rifles and the .44 cap and ball revolvers just fine. For handguns, most of the kids can handle all of the semi auto calibers pretty good also, like 9mm and .40 S&W.
