Machete seized by UK customs

May 14, 2021
6
6
44
UK
Thanks for all the opinions guys, I'll look for something more suitable in future possibly.

My main concern now is that nothing significant comes from this!
 

Broch

Life Member
Jan 18, 2009
8,462
8,338
Mid Wales
www.mont-hmg.co.uk
Surely you have Fiskars billhook available in the UK? A perfectly good tool for bushes and branches, I have used one myself.

Sorry Herman, that's a completely different tool for a completely different job - it's of no use for slashing at all; snedding and trimming yes, slashing no.

However, for shrubbery thinning and cutting, a good pair of secateurs and a pruning saw are the tools to use :)
 

C_Claycomb

Moderator staff
Mod
Oct 6, 2003
7,629
2,703
Bedfordshire
When I use a large blade in garden chores it is for dismembering the prunings to fit into bundles or wheelie bin. If I have to reduce a pile of 1m to 2m long branches from yew, philadelphus, lilac, chestnut, buddleia, apple or hawthorn into 30cm lengths, or quickly sned something down, the parang really shines. You can swipe down a long branch and remove all the shoots in one pass, rather than building hand muscles by clipping each one individually. The same tool will go through a bundle of flimsy twigs in one stroke, and a 4cm branch in one pass on the next.

I do not use a big blade to prune any plant I want to keep, and even most that are getting felled for good get taken out with a saw and maybe axe, not a parang or other large knife thing.

Speaking of secateurs...if one likes things that cut...Niwaki!
 

Laurentius

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Aug 13, 2009
2,530
697
Knowhere
Kind of inevitable with Brexit, the customs hoplophobes will make arbitrary decisions cos they don't like blades of any description. Looked a bit like a Zombie knife to me and that is probably the reason.
 

slowworm

Full Member
May 8, 2008
2,171
1,105
Devon
Had a visit from the police this morning. They said that it's been classed as a zombie knife but they won't be progressing the issue further!

Thanks for the reply, always good to hear an outcome.

I wonder if they will contact the site at all to advise them. As you mentioned, unless you know the ins and outs of the law how is one going to know what a shop is selling is illegal?
 

Tengu

Full Member
Jan 10, 2006
13,008
1,636
51
Wiltshire
And so the police, who presumably have better things to do, have been involved.

(Is there a legal definition of a zombie knife?)

do we have a zombie problem in this country?

What is best for dealing with them if we do meet one, (and I personally think that the undead ate very UNTIDY and should be dealt with, though I suspect this might involve lots of annoying lawsuits with living relatives, not to mention antidiscrimination laws et al.)
 

slowworm

Full Member
May 8, 2008
2,171
1,105
Devon
Almost as worrying as someone buying something that’s effectively a cutlass crossed with a kopis and wondering why it’s seized
If it didn't have any writing on it it would be legal as far as I understand the law. A law one would hope is crafted by knowledgeable people...
 

C_Claycomb

Moderator staff
Mod
Oct 6, 2003
7,629
2,703
Bedfordshire
@TescoBag,
Thank you very much for sharing that last update. I am relieved for you that the police were sensible and that that is an end to the matter. Definitely un-nerving.

It is interesting and potentially useful to have an example of what has been classified as a banned weapon. I think some thought that only black blades emblazoned with day-glo splatter paint and marketed as "zombie knives" would be targeted.

@Tengu
*Tongue firmly in cheek!*
We have several kinds of zombie in this country, and some of them can be problematic. The most widespread can be seen lurching around most town centres, they often cannot hear well and only a little of their brain is left to move them and monitor their surroundings, with which they frequently collide. Generally benign, they can be cured, although it can be traumatic, by forcible separation from their mobile phone.
A different and far more dangerous type is beyond all cure, and may in fact be un-killable, although its hard to know for sure since they all look so alike it is hard to keep track. These grey, soulless ever hungry creatures multiply easily and can be found in shuffling congregations, mostly around Whitehall.
:walkingdead:
During this so-called "pandemic" I have come to the theory that the latter creatures were involved in the latest weapon legislation, attempting to pre-empt the threat before the revolting peasants could arm themselves and rise against them! :deal:
 

Paul_B

Bushcrafter through and through
Jul 14, 2008
6,410
1,698
Cumbria
As mentioned above, why a big knife for pruning back shrubs and bushes? If you want to keep them you prune them with more precise tools like loppers, secateurs (bypass preferably) and a suitable saw for green/growing/wet wood. My preference is secateurs up to 25mm diameter, ratchet loppers bigger than that and above a few inches either a folding pruning saw it access is tight or a good old, honest bow saw. They're tried and tested tools that don't damage the tree by effectively surgically removing unwanted growth. You rarely get cut branches dying back or the cut causing stress/harm to the bush with those tools.

I just look at the serrated back edge of the knife in question and see that as a big part of what distinguishes it from the other, working style tools another poster put up. Those serrations have no function and I doubt they'd have worked as the OP intended them for. If they've not got a working function then they're more about image. If that part is about image then you look at the rest too. Guard might work but I've personally seen few machetes with them but that's not to say some don't have them. They are common on the knife classified as zombie knife. Then the way the knife is cut away looks like it's not great for a utilitarian work tool. I've obviously seen machetes with a belt and curve like that but it's on a wider and sturdier looking blade.

I then I wonder about the OP. I mean no offence but gardening is one hobby with a lot of online information. Even more advice is locally available at garden centres. If I'm looking for a tool for a gardening job I go to a garden centre and look what's there. If such a tool is sold in any garden centre I've never seen one in any GC I've visited. I bet the advice from such a retailer would be as I and I believe Broch (whose opinions on tree care I'd trust above many on here especially myself) said. It's more useful not trying to invent a better method at tree and shrub care than is widely available and recommended by garden centres, books on the matter and even gardening forums.

I'm glad the OP hasn't been charged or have any other further action against him, but the fact he had a police visit rather than it dealt with remotely suggests that the authorities took it seriously. A good sign it meets what their internal guidelines define as cutting the term zombie knife. I hope it's lesson learnt and he's looking for a better tool for the job, bought locally perhaps? If you need advice there's very knowledgeable people on here and I'd bet a Silky gets suggested too. Good luck with your tool search and with the shrubs.
 
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TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
10,979
4,091
50
Exeter
Morning guys!



Had a visit from the police this morning. They said that it's been classed as a zombie knife but they won't be progressing the issue further!

Did they go into anymore detail ? IE did they enquire why you wanted it? or just state that you won't be getting it and were not interested in any further details?
 

daveO

Native
Jun 22, 2009
1,459
525
South Wales
I imagine the style has as much to do with it as the writing. I can't imagine writing "Hands off my melons" on a hori hori would turn it from a trowel into a zombie slaying weapon but technically the law interprets it that way.
 

Lean'n'mean

Settler
Nov 18, 2020
742
462
France
I have bushes in the back garden that need thinning out, and some of the branches are quite thick so I thought something with a saw on the back of it would be useful for that. Apart from that it's a nice looking tool.
When you order your AR-15, just tell 'em it's for thinning out the rabbit population in your back garden.:rolleyes:
 
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