Famous last words

[Puchal]

For those so confident in the woods and on the rocky ridges:

"Hurrah, Boys! Let's get these last few reds then head on back to camp. Hurrah!"

General Custer looking and Siux village at the Little Big Horn...

 

[Nat]

"Its this F%$*>@ way i tell you". A guy in my platoon many years ago map reading whilst holding his compass next to his SLR rifle.

Seen that far too many times, normally right after a map reading lesson!

 

[Melonfish]

"yeah this has gone out, i'll just add more meths"
JUST kept my eyebrows... me and hot things don't mix.

 

[Mr Cake]

'Run you fat f***er' - shouted out by an army recruit to the RSM as he ran past doing his BFT.

 

[xairbourne]

Of course that branch will take your weight...

 

[Pandabean]

"I wonder how firm that boggy patch is? It looks ok.... oh. Err, help."

Lost count of how often I've done that one. You'd think I might learn...

Yup learned from that one, its now "Go on, that way looks ok, that tuft there will be fine" then that person goes in and ends up in it to their knees "or maybe not."

Im a kind person really.

 

[Bushwhacker]

"Of course it'll float."

 

[Melonfish]

'Run you fat f***er' - shouted out by an army recruit to the RSM as he ran past doing his BFT.

Egads, i bet he was beasted within an inch of his life!

 

[echobelly]

Me: "Are you sure?"
Friend: "Yes, it will definitely go this way..." (as tree decides to sit back and fall in completely the wrong direction)

 

[locum76]

'Run you fat f***er' - shouted out by an army recruit to the RSM as he ran past doing his BFT.

I am but a civilian, what does that even mean?

 

[Mesquite]

I am but a civilian, what does that even mean?

RSM = Regimental Sergeant Major (the guy you most definitely don't want to shout 'Run you fat f####r' at)
BFT = Basic Fitness Test

 

[Nagual]

RSM = Regimental Sergeant Major aka God.
BFT = Basic Fitness Test - a couple of miles ran in a group in the first part, then on your own in second part, not really that hard.

RSMs are one of the most feared and respected people in any army unit, they run the lot, even Commissioned Officers will not argue with one. One of ours was nicknamed "Exorcist" ( as in the missle) as usually you could see him coming, but there was feck all you could do..

 

[Extreme Pilgrim]

Captain Blackadder: Don't forget your stick Lieutenant
Lieutenant George: Rather, sir. Wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this.

Blackadder Goes Forth

 

[forestwalker]

"yeah this has gone out, i'll just add more meths"
JUST kept my eyebrows... me and hot things don't mix.

The old Swedish rmy manuals stated that one was to remove the burner with a bare hand 1 m before refilling. This was not bacause anyone cared about spilled fuel...

 

[Kveldulf]

This reminds me of my fathers last words to me, " Don't point that at me son, it's loaded!!"

 

[Bumpy]

"Paddle faster... I hear banjos"

 

[Robbi]

I am but a civilian, what does that even mean?

a near death experience !!

 

[SteveD]

Whilst stood rigidly to attention on parade, RSM stood in front of me. He pokes me in the chest with his big stick and shouts '' Theres a c*nt at the end of this stick!!''

Without thinking I replied '' Not at my end sar'nt major''

He then walked away without saying a word, I could see him laughing to himself.

Somehow my name was at the top of weekend guard duties list for then next 6 weeks

 

[Biker]

"This looks like a good spot to sit and eat."

Said while walking along a trail round a big lake last week with Alison and her 73 year old Dad. We'd passed by a couple of benches 3km back and hoped to find another soon. We finally stopped and ate on the grass. After packing up we walked another 30m round a bend and found some tables and benches.

"This book is all you'll ever need for bushcraft... The author? Some bloke called Grylls."

"This knife is strong enough not to break doing this particular job."

"No I won't need to centre punch this hole, the drill will soon find its own centre."

"Welcome to Windows Vista ........." ....... No, I didn't want to open that, or that, or that. Dammit where'd they put the bloody off button?

 

[Melonfish]

Whilst stood rigidly to attention on parade, RSM stood in front of me. He pokes me in the chest with his big stick and shouts '' Theres a c*nt at the end of this stick!!''

Without thinking I replied '' Not at my end sar'nt major''

He then walked away without saying a word, I could see him laughing to himself.

Somehow my name was at the top of weekend guard duties list for then next 6 weeks

CLASSIC!

following on from biker we were round at a m8's house and he was installing something shiney!
"whats that?" we asked
"windows 98, WAY better then 95 its more stable so it won't crash"
guess what? it crashed litterally moments later. queue formatting of hard drive and re-install.

later during the install process it flashes up "better, faster and more reliable then windows 95" i swear we couldn't breathe with laughter.