Day Jobs!

[-Switch-]

OK, I'll take the bate, so how do we use a lift "properly"?

Dave (one of the 90%)

If everyone knew that then they'd break down less often and I'd be out of a job

 

[-Switch-]

OK, I'll take the bate, so how do we use a lift "properly"?

Dave (one of the 90&#37

But seeing as a couple of you asked I'll give a better answer than the one above.

Let me present the answer to you by illustrating a typical scenario that I witness pretty much every day...

A woman in an office block (let's call her 'Janet') wants to use a lift to go up to the next floor and is presented with two buttons on the landing - one with an 'up' arrow, the other with a 'down' arrow. Janet presses both buttons because she's impatient and thinks that her actions will make the lift arrive sooner. The lift turns up and she gets in. The lift then goes down to the floor below, opens and closes its doors, then goes back to the floor she was originally at. Janet gets annoyed and says ''this f****** lift has a mind of its own'' and kicks the doors as they close then hammers the b'jesus out of the button inside the lift for the floor she wants. The lift then proceeds to go up and break down just before it gets to the floor above, trapping Janet inside.
I get called out to fix the lift.
Janet calls me every name under the sun because I have failed to anticipate her mindless act of vandalism by installing idiot-proof lifts. She then goes on to explain to me that, even though she pressed the button for the floor above, it went to the floor below and she doesn't understand why we didn't install lifts that do what she wants them to do. She neglects to tell me that she pressed the same button fifteen times then kicked the doors in frustration. It can't possibly be her fault because she works in an office, whereas I drive a white van for a living and am quite obviously an illiterate, unintelligent moron - and therefore must be to blame.

Well Janet, here it is for you in plain English...

If you wish to go UP - press the UP button.
If you wish to go DOWN - press the DOWN button.
DO NOT press both - you can't possibly want to go in both directions at once.
DON'T jump in a lift, or kick or strike it in any way - you cannot imagine the amount of safety devices there are on a lift that will trip and shut the machine down if they sense impact.
DON'T press the buttons more than once.
And remember - if no one presses any buttons then the lift will quite happily sit there doing nothing. IT WILL ONLY DO WHAT YOU TELL IT TO DO.

95% of breakdowns that we attend are the fault of the last person to use the lift. If it does something you didn't anticipate then it is very likely that either you or the last person to use it before you doesn't know what they are doing.

 

[Womble]

I'm a GIS analyst, meaining I make bespoke maps for a living, a job that I've been doing for 10 months now, and it's still my dream office job. Maps have fascinated my for decades - ever since a chance encounter with a reproduction C17th map of Northumbreland in a pannier market in Newcastle. I've spent the last 20 years collecting interesting maps and atlases, and now I'm making them!

It also means that at work I have instant access to maps of the entirity of GB down to 1:10,000, and the means to print them...

 

[Goose]

It also means that at work I have instant access to maps of the entirity of GB down to 1:10,000, and the means to print them...

How many PMs have you received up to now!?

 

[Silverback]

How many PMs have you received up to now!?

My thoughts exactly

 

[Womble]

How many PMs have you received up to now!?

no comment...

 

[Squidders]

I have a fair bit of disk space if you need "offsite storage" for these maps... you know... business continuity planning and disaster recovery planning should be an important consideration in the workplace

 

[Tourist]

I did my Uni stuff in GIS, if you trawl around there are sites that you can use to pick up quite a bit of free mapping software and data. Admitedly it is not all excellent or even good but it is free you just need to search.

As a good starting point trawl around some of the Universities that run courses in GIS and Remote Sensing(satelites, drones and aircraft). If they have undertaken work funded for the public good they generally have to make available and share results and outcomes of research - online mostly.

My old alma mata School of Geography, Leeds, has an independent computer network to the University of Leeds where they keep all sorts of widgets.

http://www.geog.leeds.ac.uk/

If you look under Research Outputs you might find something interesting, such as:

http://www.ccg.leeds.ac.uk/projects/wild/

Also, check out the staff and researchers, they sometimes have their own links to pet research projects.

 

[Risclean]

Presently I work in a crofting museum, which is okay. I get to meet to some interesting people, though it gets boring when there's hardly any visitors.

But I'm scunnered with people who've never done anything harder than mowing the lawn telling me what a hard life crofters had. And no, they weren't all under 5 feet tall and didn't all die before they reched 50

I feel better now I've got that out

 

[gorilla]

i do agency multi-drop van delivery driving(can't get anything permanent), and do 3 nights flipping burgers in a kebab shop just to keep our heads above water. my lovely missus has the proper job looking after our 4 kids (12, 9, 5 and 6 months)!

 

[falling rain]

I work in a hospital co-ordinating porters, domestic assistants and catering requests. I get the call and then have to allocate out the work. It's not a difficult job as long as you've a little common sense, and can deal with problems calmly when people are screeeeeeeching :yikes: down the phone at you, and you have to be good at dealing with rude people sometimes (which I generally am) but I've nearly lost it a couple of times with the aloof, (I'm far superior to you, little man), pompos types that I get calling from time to time. :bluThinki
I only do nights 21:30 - 0800 - so 10.5 hour shift for 7 days on and then 7 days off. Add my 25 days a year holiday and I work less than half a year. The job suits me coz I'm on my own and have no managers nagging me, and best of all I do a hard week and then have a week off every other week. I listen to the radio, read a book, visit BCUK or do some photo editing etc at work when it's quiet which it usually is after about 1am. Hard week ? Well sometimes
I get to spend more time with my lad and am going away for 3 weeks after the school holidays (carefully planned so there's not screaming kids rampaging around the campsite) down Devon and Cornwall for some fishing and camping/walking/bushcrafting but only one week of that will come off my annual allowance as the other 2 weeks are my weeks off
I did dabble with a bit of teaching basic bushcraft for the County Council but it's like dealing with a bunch of ring do-nuts (there was always a bit missing) they are just so completely unorganised and unprofessional and it was very frustrating so I packed it in. They even paid me too much money because they got their sums wrong. I did of course notify them immediately of their error

 

[TallMikeM]

technically I'm an accoutant, tho I only do that about 6 months of the year now. The rest of the time mrs tall and me are trying to get our own book and antique selling business up and running. Had a few health setbacks this year tho, so it's all taking longer than it should. I'm also another slave to an allotment...

 

[Shewie]

I`m an IT network engineer for a major retailing firm. I have an L-shaped desk with cubicle dividers, a swivelling leather chair and two pcs. I`ve been doing it for the last 9 years and have been looking to find an "outdoor" job for about the last 8 1/2. The jobs I`ve looked at in the past (national trust park ranger / forrestry work) only pay about a third of what I`m on now so it`s hard to break away, house & mortgage etc.

I`ll keep dreaming of one day getting out there, but in the meantime I should be grateful for what I have and spare a thought for those less fortunate than myself. Amen.

 

[loz.]

DON'T jump in a lift, or kick or strike it in any way - you cannot imagine the amount of safety devices there are on a lift that will trip and shut the machine down if they sense impact.
:

My 7 year old daughter and I enjoy jumping up and down in lifts to frighten Mammy.

Apologies for any calls this may create !



I do although explain that its possible to "die hard" your way out if trapped ( its probably not that simple actually.

Have you any experience of "die hard" type escapes from lifts ??

L

 

[loz.]

I`ll keep dreaming of one day getting out there, but in the meantime I should be grateful for what I have and spare a thought for those less fortunate than myself. Amen.

Same ideas, I'd love to jack it all in a be a lock keeper on the shannon !

Shannon Locks

Must do the lotto this weekend

 

[Toddy]

It depends on what day of the week it is......and what month too
Today, I suppoose technically I'm an author since I'm writing the handouts for schools participating in an archaeology activity at sites in Highland Region.
Yesterday I was a housewife making jam and drying some of the glut of fruit, did some dyeing too.... got beautiful greens from overdyeing golden rod with partially exhausted indigo...and footered about with alkanet root to get bright vivid purples
Tomorrow I'm a costume maker. Jacobite, female, pair of bodies (corsets) and all, for an event at Fort William in the middle of next month.
Friday I'm supposed to be an archaeologist.
I'm at home this weekend (fanfare, rah rah, etc ) for the first time in oooh ages. Weekends are usually parks and events things; I worked at Lanark Medieval Festival last weekend, met a lot of friends, made new ones, saw a lot of good kit and even more *very* muddy people, 4" mud
Next week I'm off .....d'you think I'm tired? Had enough? In need of a do nothing week? I surely do, so I'm going to potter around, gather some plants for lotioning and potioning, do some basektry, finish some kit for HistScot, redd up in the garden, have a day out with my best friend and chill out
Autumn is coming, I can smell the change in the early dawn and I'm getting itchy to have the harvest home and safely stored. The beech mast is dropping now and I want to try the lamp oil, and I need to gather hazels, sloes, acorns and chestnuts too, so they'll be coming in soon.

My work and life is seasonal; I'm very fortunate, I love what I do and I thoroughly enjoy the company of the people I meet.
Winter I kind of hibernate, I have rheumatoid arthritis and I can ache a bit so then I get out for a few hours in the day and then home to my own patch and get busy indoors or in my garden or workshops. Spring I waken up again.
I don't know how folks who work full time manage, I just couldn't, I can only admire their stamina and dedication. Working mothers deserve medals :notworthy

cheers,
Toddy

 

[Rorster]

Loss Prevention Investigator

 

[FGYT]

What Tourist said only onot so many houses done yet

ie gave up work (35) to raise the new Daughter and let the missus take the strain

oh and im never never going back to a desk job espesally one that has people who your responsible for HSE is a PITA :twak:


ATb

Duncan