D*** of the week competition

[sandsnakes]

Just been for my morning run along the beach in Colva (Goa) and have observed the following
1st d*** ***d standing in the middle of a fighting pack of wild dogs try to feed the youngest. The beach dogs have nasty things including rabies. The idiot was trying to seperate them with his hands!
2nd d*** ***d was picking up sea snakes with a bit of wood and trying to put them back in the sea. The local fishermen had left them there as they were caught in the nets. The sea snake was activly trying to bite the man. He had rescued two he only had three more to go! The local sea eagles pick them up from the beach and eat them so they dont actually get 'left around'. Oh yeah, to crown it all he walked into the sea behind them to make sure the did not get beached! :yikes:

I await your responses!

Sandsnakes.

sorry about typing- crepe keyboard with keys missing.

 

[falling rain]

Just been for my morning run along the beach in Colva (Goa) and have observed the following
1st d*** ***d standing in the middle of a fighting pack of wild dogs try to feed the youngest. The beach dogs have nasty things including rabies. The idiot was trying to seperate them with his hands!
2nd d*** ***d was picking up sea snakes with a bit of wood and trying to put them back in the sea. The local fishermen had left them there as they were caught in the nets. The sea snake was activly trying to bite the man. He had rescued two he only had three more to go! The local sea eagles pick them up from the beach and eat them so they dont actually get 'left around'. Oh yeah, to crown it all he walked into the sea behind them to make sure the did not get beached! :yikes:

I await your responses!

Sandsnakes.

sorry about typing- crepe keyboard with keys missing.

There's always one ..................................... and that guy sounds like he was both of them !!!

 

[Greg]

Every country has its share of brain dead people!!

 

[sam_acw]

I take it you've heard of the Darwin awards? For those who do the human race a favour by removing themselves from the gene pool

 

[Ogri the trog]

I have to agree Sam,
Darwinism in for the world to see.

Ogri the trog

 

[BorderReiver]

Have you noticed that most of 'em seem to get away with it.

 

[deezee_uk]

I can beat that, while walking on Snowdon, a man was letting his dog chase and try to attack the sheep. He was laughing "Oh you silly dog", as the terrified sheep ran into ditches and nearly killed themselves trying to clear a fence He seemed awfully offended when I told him I would kick his dog in the face if he didn't put it on a leash. I appreciate its not the dogs fault, but I can't kick him in the face, I'm just not that flexible.

 

[Beer Monster]

Towards the end of last year I was up near the Cairngorm Summit in fairly inclement weather ........... low cloud and very cold drizzle with visibility limited to about 20 meters. Out of the gloom stumbles a very wet tired and ****** off looking individual. He initially seemed to be fairly well kitted out with decent gortex jacket and trousers, hat and gloves, decent pair of boots and a fairly full looking day sack on his back.

I was having a snack break and whilst I'm normally a fairly amiable person on the mountain this guy really got my back up. He walked right up to me and jammed a small ETrex GPS in my face and said in a distinctly German accent and a fairly aggressive tone "Show me how to get to zee car park". No “How do you do, would you be able to ….” or “Nice to meet you, would it be possible to …..”!

Now at first the aggressive tone caught me slightly off guard and at that time I didn't have a GPS so not being wise in the way of global positioning gadgetry took one look at it (from the look of things it had reset itself and so the he had lost all of his waypoints) bit my tongue and asked to see his map.

From his get up I fully expected the gentleman to pull out super duber double laminated and airtightly packaged map with the finest compass available known to humanity attached by a triple strand titanium lanyard cord .............. but he just stared at me blankly. I thought maybe he hadn't understood me so I said it again and explained that I could show him where he was and give him his first compass bearing to get off the hill .......... again he just stared at me uncomprehendingly. He then thrust the GPS back into my face and said "I have GPez I don't have map I have GPez ....... show me how to get to zee car park".

Now it was my turn just to stare at him ......... except my stare wasn’t blank ...... it was incredulous :Wow: . This gentleman had gone out into some very very dangerous mountains in some very dangerous weather without a map and compass ....... wholly relying on his GPS ....... which had failed at the worst possible time .

To cut a long story short after much tinkering with GPS and entering grids etc I gave up and ended up walking him off the mountain (I was heading down anyway but would have liked to have done a bit of exploring first) and down to the car park using map and compass.
........ to top it all off he didn't say thank you and without even a sideways glance marched straight to his car ! It was at this point that he opened up his day pack and produced .......... his laptop computer ! It was in a very bulky padded case and it was taking up his whole pack!!! He plugged in his GPS and was presumably downloading his way home!

Funny thing is this is the 3rd time this has happened to me! 2 of those times on or near Cairngorm! I seem to attract them . It definitely seemed to be a case of “all the gear but no idea”.

 

[boland magyar]

deezee
no problem im a black belt in karate and i could give you a few lessons
boland

 

[Matt Weir]

To cut a long story short after much tinkering with GPS and entering grids etc I gave up and ended up walking him off the mountain

He had vays auff making you valk!



Beer Monster (holding said GPS) > :twak: < German gentleman.

Matt.

 

[Silverback]

I can beat that, while walking on Snowdon, a man was letting his dog chase and try to attack the sheep. He was laughing "Oh you silly dog", as the terrified sheep ran into ditches and nearly killed themselves trying to clear a fence He seemed awfully offended when I told him I would kick his dog in the face if he didn't put it on a leash. I appreciate its not the dogs fault, but I can't kick him in the face, I'm just not that flexible.

Glasgow kiss on the bridge of the nose then the head should be at a more accessible angle for kicking/punching or a combination of both - ahh the good old days

 

[sandsnakes]

Saw Richard one and two on the beach this morning, thought I would mention a word of caution.

Response was
Dog man- I have done this before and they dont have any diseases! (A more scabaroius collection of dogs with open sores you will not meet!!)

Snake man- they will not hurt me, I am being kind to them!


To quote the Doors

'People are strange'

 

[led]

Response was
Dog man- I have done this before and they dont have any diseases! (A more scabaroius collection of dogs with open sores you will not meet!!)

Snake man- they will not hurt me, I am being kind to them!

Reminds me of Timothy Treadwell

 

[Dunelm]

When I visit High Force waterfall in Teesdale ("The Highest Waterfall in England" as the tourist brochures always tell us) I always go via the south side, which is quieter and less accessible to drunken daytrippers in tracksuites. But it's always fun watching them inch ever closer to the edge to get another look down into the abyss - usually with a squirming child/radged dog/can of carling black label in their left hand. One goes over every couple of years.

 

[John Fenna]

Glasgow kiss on the bridge of the nose then the head should be at a more accessible angle for kicking/punching or a combination of both - ahh the good old days

Oh dear - all this violent talk! - just take them off your Xmas card list!
As one of the people almost as short as a short thing that shrank in the wash I recommend a blow sraight from the shoulder - it gets most blokes right where they live if they are true d**k heads......

 

[Don Redondo]

nothing more dispiriting on Snowdon than reaching the top to find some bimbo in court shoes [usually from Brum or L'pool from the accent] saying 'Oi, there's nothing to see 'ere' and throwing her fag end down and staggering off into the murk to find a can of lager.

 

[Greg]

nothing more dispiriting on Snowdon than reaching the top to find some bimbo in court shoes [usually from Brum or L'pool from the accent] saying 'Oi, there's nothing to see 'ere' and throwing her fag end down and staggering off into the murk to find a can of lager.

Try two aussies, wearing flip flops and a plastic mak on top of ben nevis in winter. ummmm
but its true!!! some people are just born stupid!!

 

[Agile]

nothing more dispiriting on Snowdon than reaching the top to find some bimbo in court shoes [usually from Brum or L'pool from the accent] saying 'Oi, there's nothing to see 'ere' and throwing her fag end down and staggering off into the murk to find a can of lager.

I'll second that one - It's very depressing when you see some beached wale who has taken the train up puff and pant "all the way" up the 45 steps to the very top from the train and then exclaim - "Wow the view is magnificent, and I feel like I've climbed the mountain after those steps".

As I was nearing the end of the Welsh 3000's I was very tempted to give them a faster route _down_ the mountain....

Agile

 

[Agile]

Try two aussies, wearing flip flops and a plastic mak on top of ben nevis in winter. ummmm
but its true!!! some people are just born stupid!!

I'm surprised they made it that far!!

 

[Zodiak]

Try two aussies, wearing flip flops and a plastic mak on top of ben nevis in winter. ummmm
but its true!!! some people are just born stupid!!

Where ever you go in the world there will be an aussie, probably half

A few years back I got lost in the red light district of Paris (No really lost, I got off the metro two stops early) late one Saturday night, it was terrifying. But as I was trying to find my out through the crowds of very dodgy looking parisienes a lone, completely ratted, aussie staggerd past and called over "Hello you stupid *******, don't you know where you are?" ...

I later found out that I was in an area that non-locals never visit and I was lucky not to have been mugged or worse, but he obvioulsy did know and didn't seem to care.