Christmas Cracker Jokes

[Mesquite]

It's that time of year where the corny jokes are shared out from Christmas Crakers and I thought folks might like to share some of their most groan and cringe worthy ones with us so we can suffer as well

I'll kick off with this one...

[FONT=&quot]Q: Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party ?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A: Because he's is a fungi to be with around

[/FONT]

 

[bushwacker bob]

Why isn't Santa going to visit Roy Hodgeson this year?






He couldn't get past Iceland.

 

[crosslandkelly]

Bakers share recipes, on a strictly Knead to know basis.

I'll get my coat.

 

[Toddy]

What do you call Santa's little helpers ?
*
*
*
Subordinate clauses

Merry Christmas everyone
M

 

[oldtimer]

We're having venison for Christmas Lunch this year.

A special treat as it was a little deer!

 

[Bigfoot]

First snowman says to the second snowman - "do you smell carrots?"

 

[Leshy]

Why do Santa's little helpers have to wear hard hats?
*
*
*
*
..for Elf and safety reasons.
😒

 

[bearbait]

What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a detective?

*

*

*

Sherlock Bones.

 

[bearbait]

Can you work out the word or phrase below?

issue issue
issue issue
issue issue
issue issue
issue issue

*

*

*

A. Tennis shoes.

 

[TarHeelBrit]

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an Apple tree?
.
.
.
A Pine-apple.

How do sheep great each other on Christmas day?
.
.
.
A Merry Christmas to ewe.

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
.
.
.
Stick with me and we'll go places.

Why is it getting harder to find Advent calendars these days?
.
.
.
Because their days are numbered.

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?
.
.
.
Deep pan crisp and even.

Why didn't anyone bid on Rudolph and Prancer on ebay?
.
.
.
Because they were two deer.


It's not my fault. My wife loves crackers more than opening her presents, I guess it's 45 Christmases without any.