Christmas Cracker Jokes

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Mesquite

Anyone for sailing?
Mar 5, 2008
23,664
810
59
~Hemel Hempstead~
It's that time of year where the corny jokes are shared out from Christmas Crakers and I thought folks might like to share some of their most groan and cringe worthy ones with us so we can suffer as well :)

I'll kick off with this one...

[FONT=&quot]Q: Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party ?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A: Because he's is a fungi to be with around




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Leshy

Full Member
Jun 14, 2016
2,394
54
Wiltshire
Why do Santa's little helpers have to wear hard hats?
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..for Elf and safety reasons.
😒
 

TarHeelBrit

Full Member
Mar 13, 2014
687
1
58
Alone now.
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an Apple tree?
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A Pine-apple.

How do sheep great each other on Christmas day?
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A Merry Christmas to ewe.

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
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Stick with me and we'll go places.

Why is it getting harder to find Advent calendars these days?
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Because their days are numbered.

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?
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Deep pan crisp and even.

Why didn't anyone bid on Rudolph and Prancer on ebay?
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Because they were two deer.


It's not my fault. My wife loves crackers more than opening her presents, I guess it's 45 Christmases without any.