Bushcraft Jokes

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“Fetch us some firewood from the Dead-dog tree”
“How will I know which is the Dead-dog tree?”
“It’s the one without any bark”
 
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THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A GIRL FROM LIVERPOOL​



Three friends married women from 3 different parts of the world.


The first man married a woman from the Philippines, he told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning, it took a couple of days but on the third day, the house was spotlessly clean and all the dishes were washed and put away.


The second man married a women from Thailand, he gave his wife orders that she was to keep the house clean, do the laundry and cook his meals,. The first day he was disappointed and seen no changes, but by the third day the house was clean the laundry all done, and a huge dinner was on the table when he got home from work.


The third man married a girl from Liverpool, he told her to keep the house clean. get the dishes washed, mow the lawn, do the laundry and have a hot meal ready when he gets home from work, He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he couldn't see anything either, but on the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm had healed enough so he could make himself a sandwich, and load the dishwasher and make a start on the laundry, although he still has some difficulty when he passes water.
 
But...
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in the New Forest?
Because they're very good at it.
Why do elephants paint their balls red?
To better hide in cherry trees!

What's the loudest sound in the forest?
A giraffe eating cherries!
 

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