Bushcraft Jokes

[Woody girl]

A guy goes into the army and navy stores. He asks the assistant if he has any camouflage jackets. The assistant says yes, I've got hundreds - but I can't find them! (Billy Connally).

 

[Fadcode]

had to tell the wife i have to go camping on my own in future, Doctors Orders, my Psychiatrist told me not to get too intense.

 

[woodsorrel]

Here's some funny bushcraft cartoons:

1. Outhouse Cartoon
If you've used developed campgrounds...

Outhouse Cartoon


2. Bushcraft Time Change
This one rocks!...

Bushcraft Time Change


3. You be You!
Nature rebelling against authority.

You be You!


4. Are we there yet?
I use this one all the time.

Are we there yet?


- Woodsorrel

 

[MrEd]

Where did Shakespeare get the opening line of Richard III?

He was passing a camping shop one December where a sign said NOW IS THE WINTER OF OUR DISCOUNT TENTS.

I want to own a camping shop just so I can use that!

 

[GuestD]

Two fish in a tank, neither could figure out how to drive it.

 

[Bishop]

Do you think we change that rope back to toilet paper?

 

[oldtimer]

I was wandering about in the woods when I met an agitated guy who flung his arms done me told me he was so pleased to see me as he'd been lost for three days.


You should have seen his face when I told him I'd been lost for a week.

 

[treefrog]

 

[bearbait]

I have that particular talent too! Nice to know that it's a special one I have, eh?

 

[Bishop]

Just a coincidence?

 

[Bishop]

I saw this and said Hell Yes!, the wife said Hell bloody no

Radio controlled Crocodile head boat £26 [12" nose to neck] link

 

[henchy3rd]

I was so vexed I set up two tents?

 

[henchy3rd]

After a jolly good feast Whilst camping with William Shakespeare..tubby or not tubby.. fat is the question.

 

[henchy3rd]

I lost my spectacles in the woods, guess who I bumped into.. the tree.

 

[John Fenna]

I find it interesting co-incidence that the computer's first choice of "Similar threads" to go with "Bushcraft Jokes" is.... well have a look below!

 

[crosslandkelly]

Tickled me.

 

[henchy3rd]

Went to a nature fancy dress party & forgot to dress up.. so my girlfriend jumped on my back. When asked what I’m meant to be, I replied a snail..how do you work that one out & whats that on your back.. it’s Michelle.

 

[bearbait]

That is definitely worth a "Grooaaan...".

 

[oldtimer]

Now I understand why I can't get my wife off my back. Michele and I have been together for 59 years. I can't think how many opportunities I have missed to use this ploy, I wish I'd heard it before because I hate fancy dress.

 

[henchy3rd]

An Irishman,Scotsman, Welshman & an Englishman were captured by a fierce tribe of cannibals Whilst exploring new territory.
The head tribesman said you all have one wish left before we eat you..choose it wisely?
The Irishman with hand on heart stood up & proudly said, I’d like to hear the river dance One last time.
The Scotsman said with strength,id like to hear the flower off Scotland being played on 100 bagpipes.
The Welshman smiled & said I’d like to hear the singing of land off my father With all my pub mates.
& what is your last request Englishman..I’d like to be eaten first.