Best Cure for A Broken Heart?

[Wacker]

Interesting assumptions all around - I am a bloke. Not that it should matter , heart is a heart , plaything of the Gods.

I wondered why I was convinced you were a fella, and of course it doesn't matter. Hope you feel better soon, although having just started feeling back to my old self again after a year and a half of being single I can't promise it'll be quick. Just take it one day at a time and concentrate on yourself for a while..

 

[TeeDee]

Ah - well - you see I went by the 'Super Shelter' thread, where you posted a vid of a young lady building a shelter and asked what people thought. Your post made it sound like you were the person who had built the shelter.

I think that assumption may be in you. Not sure How you read into it that 'I was her' ?? - No offence taken.



#### Stevie777 cn you clear your inbox for a PM please mate ####

 

[mrcharly]

Definitely my assumption, you didn't say anything implying that you were the builder.

 

[Alan 13~7]

Hi TD I only know you from reading your posts... So my advise to you is Accept what you can't change & change what you can't Accept... decide to get over it & start to live again, sometimes broken hearts don't mend we just learn to live with it! Having the support from good friends around you is the answer, spend time with your mates doing things you like to do, think back to a time you were happiest as a bachelor, enjoy being a bachelor again probably be short lived...
For me it was my motor bike... I didn't have one So took my credit card & went out an bought a big f*ck off bike then spent 3 long years feeling sorry for myself being messed up, got in to drugs sad & depressed & doing silly dangerous Suicidal stuff then I finally decided to get my life back again went to Manchester with a daft mate for a daft **** up weekend... met my now wife.. etc. rest history Etc. My heart break story I got separated from My First born daughter @ 6 months & her mother of course.. My daughter is 17 now & a more or less a total stranger at the age of 5 she attended our wedding as a bridesmaid (then returned to Portsmouth) accompanied by the grand parent's ( my ex's mum & dad ) who she has mostly lived with ever since & 16 years of birthday & Christmas pressies (sent religiously) later, mostly picked out by my wife, & many awkward phone calls, finally lost touch with her when she returned to live with her mum at the age of 13 now back staying with her mum (we don't communicate & have no contact address or phone number) & no longer being influenced Or prompted by grand parents who we are still in touch with & on good terms with.... Heather is old enough & responsible enough to make her own decisions regarding contact by now chooses not to speak & we don't even get as much as a thank you since she moved back in with mum, I don't get a birthday card or a fathers-day card so have now stopped sending or trying to communicate... so I think broken hearts can't be mended you just learn to deal with it... my wife's mate Mad Dave (I don't really know the guy) was married for about 10 years at the time of the Ebola out break, his Wife out of the blue announces she is off to live in south Africa... He was Devastate & almost suicidal.... A fan of bush crafting you guys probably know him better than me... His mates all rallied round dragged him off to the bush moot.. yada yada History... his divorce has reticently been finalized, he's happy again... You may even have been there for Dave I don't Know? anyway its not the end... TD better times are ahead..
& Dave... Tracy & I both wish you lived closer.. I hope you don't mind me retelling your story? Maybe one day we will meet up & Tracy will let me go for a bush trip some where with you & Spikey...

 

[Tengu]

I bet shes not fretting.

 

[santaman2000]

A lot of good advise already given. Mostly time/ And as has been said, fill that time with pleasant distractions and/or good friends. Of course there will also be a need to just sit alone and reconsider every now and then (just don't get sucked into staying there) It's like any other grief really. All the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, grief, acceptance (I probably have the order wrong) Talking to a friend helps; or a trusted professional (counselor, minister, dr. etc.) But in the end, it's the time itself that does the trick.

 

[Wayland]

If it's still beating it ain't broken, just a bit bruised.

It'll hurt like hell for a while then get better.

That's the way of these things. Hope it doesn't take too long mate.

 

[Andy T]

Best way to get over a woman is to get a leg over the next one.

 

[Trojan]

I wish I knew the answer to! I have achieved far more in the last 2 years than the previous 10 years when I was in a relationship but I am still single! - May I suggest a dog, a Landrover and a new knife?

 

[Dave]

Remain open minded and try asking Elen Sentier. I wonder if there is some sort of ancient mystical shamanic cure for this sort of thing?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1780995067?redirect=true&ref_=s9_im_co_g14_i3

 

[Mike313]

A change of scenery helps sometimes, also breaking your usual patterns and doing something different and interesting. I would probably stay away from your 'special places' where you used to go together. Maybe join a club, take up a new hobby but most of all, keep busy. Don't give yourself time to mope ...

 

[beech]

Hard to say without knowing what the situation is, however I think having some time to yourself away from the person in question helps (but be prepared to have them invade your thoughts constantly!)
Depending on the situation it's sometimes easier to cut all ties, at least for a good while until you feel ready to face them again.
Nothing wrong with feeling like utter crap for a while apart from it being deeply unpleasant, just try to use the negative emotions as a motivator to do something positive.
chin up chuck.

Edit, failing that, have some whiskey for a temporary fix, works for me.

MOD Edit. But I can edit it and the quote. Please keep it family friendly.

 

[Macaroon]

Edit, failing that, have some whiskey for a temporary fix, works for me. haha

MOD Edit. This was edited to keep.the forum family friendly.

That's definitely not the sort of advice I want to read on this forum, or anywhere else for that matter; I think you should edit that out, and quick!

 

[Wacker]

The best revenge is success


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[beech]

But you have quoted me so the evidence would remain...
sadly no quick fix for this sort of thing. Wish there were.
MOD Edit. Beech, I edited your post and the quote of it. Please keep the forum family friendly. Don't need crass comments here.

 

[Bluebs4]

It takes time the heal buddy im 9 months into it after 18years went south , I didnt think id ever get over it but i can honestly say Im feeling better than ever now , i had know idea how much i gave away to a relationship until i become me again . Good luck buddy .

 

[nic a char]

Best way to get over a woman is to get a leg over the next one.

that's a bit crude - but some "companionship" is nice & doesn't mean you are shallow! Luck certainly has something to do with who you may bump into, but I think recovery - and that can mean getting to an (even) better place - is more about positive thinking, determination, and get-up-and-go IMO.
2 years seems average for a complete recovery - in addition to the many useful tips already posted I found self-counselling books helpful - especially ones which have an emotions grid to check each of your/human emotions week-to-week out of 10 - you could do that yourself as I'm sorry I no longer have the reference.
eg Friday 2nd October 2015 - on a scale of 0-10, unhappy 2 happy, I feel 1. Do this every Friday on a fresh sheet of paper, without referring to the previous Fridays, until the end of the month. Then, looking back, there's very likely to have been an improvement... From memory I think my sheets listed 16 emotions!
P.S. after I felt the world had ended some years ago I am now very happy.

 

[Goatboy]

Okay folks the OP asked for some advice about a broken heart. That's a hard thing to ask for on an open forum and I hope some of the advice works for him.
However reading through there are some less than family friendly comments going up. Please note that a lot of folk read this at work and/or have kids running 'round while this is open. In fact we have a healthy amount of youngsters reading this too.
It takes time for the Mods to edit treads so that they still make sense after something inapropriate goes up. I don't want to have to close the thread and also hand out penalties as it's a good thread otherwise. Please keep it clean.

Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.

 

[Dave]

I thought it was a brave thing to do to. Must be a very tough time.

Im off on a date soon, and she's rather pretty. We've corresponded on the web, last couple of weeks, exchanged photos, and Ive been completely open about my illness, and situation, and she's been really great about it. Im just glad that I might have found a special person who understands that my illness is not the sum of all my parts. Its put a little bounce in my step, and perked me up somewhat.

We're not meant to be alone are we.

 

[sandbender]

Time is the great healer so they say and I have always found that time lasts longer when I'm away for a wander, so if job and other responsibilities allow, pack a rucksack and take off for a week or more.

Isaac Hayes and Al Green have also walked me through some hard times in the past.