The most ridiculous Swiss army knife

Salaud

Nomad
Aug 24, 2011
439
0
isle of man
Absolutely brilliant find, havent laughed so much since grandma died or aunty mabel caught her left tit in the mangle...This one is my favourite

“ By James Bury - 27 July 2010
On the whole, this is an excellent tool and has helped on many routine tasks around the house, including eavesdropping on GCHQ, performing a minor appendectomy on the dog, and serving as a temporary RSJ when a simple DIY project to remove what I thought was a non-structural wall went awry. It also paid for itself very quickly after I heated it up and inserted it briskly into the rear end of the 100:1 outsider for the 3:15 at Epsom. This was much more successful than my first attempt on the 2:30 when I had neglected to fold away the spiky bits first.My only criticism is that the battery life is a little disappointing, which means that the night-vision feature only lasts a few hours. This caused no end of trouble the other evening when I was over the Alps in the built-in microlight waiting for permission to land at Geneva. Luckily the hand-cranked generator tool was sufficient to illuminate the (rather basic!) flight instrumentation, and permitted a largely successful landing using the (optional extra) ILS feature.Overall, it is an excellent all-purpose tool. It is quite heavy and the anti-gravity device is a little temperamental, so it is always worth arming the auto-inflation safety feature if you are in the vicinity of deep water. I would have given it 5* but couldn't find the tool for removing boy scouts from horses' hooves. Incidentally you can quickly recoup the purchase price by using the time-travel feature to enhance your investment decisions.On the whole, this is an excellent tool and has helped on many routine tasks around the house, including eavesdropping on GCHQ, performing a minor appendectomy on the dog, and serving as a temporary RSJ when a simple DIY project to remove what I thought was a non-structural wall went awry. It also ... Read full review750 of 816 people found this review helpful

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Ecoman

Full Member
Sep 18, 2013
934
2
Isle of Arran
www.HPOC.co.uk
This one made me spit my coffee out!!! :lmao:

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Mostly great features. A couple of let-downs.
Customer rating 5.0/5.0
26 Sep 2013 By TheMagician
6 out of 6 found this helpful

I'd been looking for a £600 lump of metal to weigh my jeans down for a while. This does the trick perfectly!

A few of the features let it down a little:

The motorbike function gets appalling miles to the gallon.
The quantum teleporter is decidedly inaccurate. I set it for Paris and ended up just south of Chorley.
The trombone needs tuning every time you get it out.
The tent is incomplete and collapsed twice on me last week.
The home brewery kit works, and the beer tastes fine. The wine making kit however, is a little too robust for a merlot.
The satellite dish attachment struggles to connect to the projector.
Changing the volume on the record player is awkward, and the DJ booth isn't nearly big enough to fit more than 3 people in.
The paper shredder can't manage a full book without breaking.
Siri is very unreliable.
The oil dispenser is jammed shut.
The sword is cursed.
And the 12,000 piece jigsaw is missing a piece.

It's also far too easy to get the tools confused. I was going for a small picnic spoon, and accidentally bazooka'd my fruit loops.

And to top it all off, since I updated it to iOS7, it's been running slowly and my cat won't go near it.

Otherwise great! "
 

Biker

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Those two reviews above are just superb. Going to have to look into this a bit more when I have some time to spare.

This line cracked me up "It's also far too easy to get the tools confused. I was going for a small picnic spoon, and accidentally bazooka'd my fruit loops." :lmao:
 

swright81076

Tinkerer
Apr 7, 2012
1,702
1
Castleford, West Yorkshire
I love these Amazon reviews, some are genius.

As for sak I think this one is my favourite.

5yhajeme.jpg


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presterjohn

Settler
Apr 13, 2011
727
2
United Kingdom
Spoof reviews have become a bit of a craze over the last few years. I think a book of the best of them has even been done now. I read somewhere that it started with comical reviews of an electricians legislation manual or something similar.
 

Jared

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Sep 8, 2005
3,570
746
51
Wales
What I want to know is when are Victorinox going to do away with the tooth pick and invent a mini fire steel in its place-like the pen they do?

Steve.

Would rather something like a sail needle.

There is a video on youtube with a guy modding his SAK, replacing the tooth pick with a fire steel. The problem, as I see it, it was relying on a friction fit, but obviously a ferro rod gets thinner with use.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyhn_yYuTK4
 
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