Something Stupid

[Rhoda]

I had to hose down the cat once. He'd been run over, had an open wound on his leg from the op that saved it and then pooped (upset tummy from the antibiotics) all over himself in the cat box on the way home. I couldn't see any other option at the time other than into the shower and hose him down! Poor cat, they really don't like water do they!!

 

[Womble_Lancs]

Poor cat, they really don't like water do they!!

My friend's cat loves it. If she turns on the washbasin tap, the cat will sit in the sink, batting his paws at the water and sticking his head in the water flow.

 

[bushcraftbob]

I am very short sighted, once in the shower i took a gob full of shower gel thinking it was mouthwash !

 

[Nagual]

I've chopped more bits off the ends of my fingers while cutting up veg than I care to remember, while taking out my old loo it shattered and the lovely sharp ceramics sliced my hand up quite nicely - probably should have made sure the screws were all out before trying to lift it I guess. My sister however is living proof of the old saying " don't know your a**se from your elbow", when she put hemeroid cream in her eczema on her elbow and eczema cream on her hemeroids....

Nag.

 

[verloc]

ermm this one is a bit embarrassing but hey we are all friends here.
This happened last winter. Woke up to a lovely toasty bedroom (thankful that I had remembered to set the heating timer), and strolled over to the window to peak my head out and see what the weather was like. Drew back the curtains and did a big manly stretch and waking up yawn. Stood for a little while and then screamed at the top of my voice and collapsed backwards onto the bed in quite a bit of shock and pain.

You see the window is a velux type, with a radiator mounted directly below it (can anyone see where this is going?), I sleep starkers and lets just say that the cosy radiotor came into contact with a highly prized part of the male anatomy. Of course being sleepy it took a wee while for the neurons to fire up to say "move you idiot" but when they did start firing I've never "woken up" fully so quickly in my life and of course Mrs Verloc lying in bed thought that this was possibly the funniest thing she had ever seen.

With hurt pride and a ...sore pride, i staggered for a cuppa tea - always to be more careful about little verloc and central heating in the future. :sulkoff:

 

[verloc]

Sorry for the double post but got excited and started typing another one lol.

Ooh Ooh thought of another one........
Me and Stooboy and another mate were out in the woods one night. Overfueled by too many volatile organic compounds (mainly from the South of France) I decided it was time to call it a night and climb into my hammock.

Now like a lot of people i rig up a utility line between the hammock and the tarp and all my gumph gets hung from it, including my knife. Anyway after getting comfy I realised I wasn't as tired as I thought and so had a smoke and played with my knife for a bit but did the old nodding dog trick and dozed off for a split second, now it was a split second but it was long enough to "drop" or mislay the razor sharp frosts into the hammock with me.

Spent a good 15mins "feeling myself" trying to find the knife - conscious of the fact that if i move too much i may end up with a difficult to explain self-stab wound. Took me a while to find it and I must have looked very odd but it was my only option and both stooboy and my other mate who were there both turned down the request to "come over here and have a feel for it".

I know this doesn't sound too bad but next time you in your hammock - give it a try and remember the bigger the bloke the tighter the hammock pulls and the less space there is for manoeuvre.

Ok will def stop now before i completely make a fool out of myself and start on the "drop and roll victory lap of honour".


Tom

 

[BorderReiver]

Not me but my previous wife; mixed up eye ointment and Superglue.

No permanent damage but a lot of discomfort and embarrassment.

I have tried the shut your boot lace in the car door trick; not recommended. Left foot braking and stalling is very undignified.

 

[crazyclimber]

Way too many daft and stupid things to post. Also, too many and I'll feel stupid

e.g. Walking home at the end of a 'good night' at the local I pat my pockets and with a sinking feeling realise I can't find my phone. Hmm *bright idea* thinks I; give it a call and see if anyone picks up. Phone out of my jacket pocket, dial my number... nothing, straight to answerphone. A few minutes later I try again when my mate gives me a funny look, turns over my hand and I realise I've not lost my phone after all...

I blame the drink!

 

[Dan1982]

my friends dad once tried to remove a rather stubborn lid from a tube of superglue using his teeth! ..............needless to say, the troublesome lid was removed rather quickly resulting in a mouthful of superglue and glued lips!!

Never laughed so hard in my life!! we did however have to spend several hours waiting with him in casualty. never seen him so embarassed............or quiet!!

Dan

 

[addo]

Decided to work hard on the last day of the working year before christmas. when no one else was making me!

Last tree out of 10 mature 200 year old Beechs to be section felled, the last branch 10 mins before lunch(we were stoping at lunch = 3 blumin years of pain and operations. Survived but only just.

 

[scoops_uk]

I was driving along down a nice sunny A-road one day at about 60mph and I thought it was a bit quiet in the car, I'd left the radio faceplate in the locking centrebox on the car. Went to open the box and I'd obviously been careful parking my car in the middle of nowhere, so I'd locked the faceplate in the secure centre box.

I was on a long straight-ish downhill at the time and I thought, it'll only take a couple of seconds to unlock the box with the ignition key. So I stuck the car in neutral, turned off the engine, pulled out the key and stuck it in the centrebox lock. All going great. As I lifted the lid I went a little off line so I turned the steering wheel a touch to correct and 'click'....the steering lock engaged. :aargh4:

 

[verloc]

scoops thats blumin awesome lol - i could see me thinking of taking that approach as well lol.

 

[woodstock]

Today I've had a day of 'comedic' proportions .



The worst bit?

The surgeon (whom I'd not previously met), during our pre-op natter, asked to see the 'offending' area. He looked a bit surprised when I presented my right ankle - at this point I should have sussed that it was going to be one of 'Those' days. For some reason the surgury I was in for 'Wide Excision - ankle' had become 'Wide Excision - Rectum' .

Look on the positive side you can now insert yourself alphabetical into the any list with ease

 

[korvin karbon]

got mixed up between the DJ's wife, girlfriend and the very willing fan. All i cans ay is thank god for my DAT recorder, a previous super star DJ's set was played instead. The room was very dark that night LOL

second one was making a 24 way stage box out of star quad cable, and forgetting to put the cable glands on dohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[johnnytheboy]

Put A GB wildlife hatchet in my foot cutting up my privot hedge

 

[Dougster]

I was driving along down a nice sunny A-road one day at about 60mph and I thought it was a bit quiet in the car, I'd left the radio faceplate in the locking centrebox on the car. Went to open the box and I'd obviously been careful parking my car in the middle of nowhere, so I'd locked the faceplate in the secure centre box.

I was on a long straight-ish downhill at the time and I thought, it'll only take a couple of seconds to unlock the box with the ignition key. So I stuck the car in neutral, turned off the engine, pulled out the key and stuck it in the centrebox lock. All going great. As I lifted the lid I went a little off line so I turned the steering wheel a touch to correct and 'click'....the steering lock engaged. :aargh4:

Dear Lord - a winner. Glad you're here to tell (and give a little giggle)

 

[nigeltm]

I can't make up my mind if my most embarresing moment was;

- when I found out that asbestos roofing goes soft in the rain (by falling through the roof of the cinema I worked in) while trying to impress the new usherette. Only a 40 foot fall!

- the time I stood on my bedroom windowsill being sick (thank you Mr. Strongbow!) while totally naked, as the last bus from the workingmens club (where I worked) stopped right outside

 

[John Fenna]

got mixed up between the DJ's wife, girlfriend and the very willing fan. All i cans ay is thank god for my DAT recorder, a previous super star DJ's set was played instead. The room was very dark that night LOL

second one was making a 24 way stage box out of star quad cable, and forgetting to put the cable glands on dohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Now I know I am getting old....I cant understand a word of this!

 

[Dougster]

Now I know I am getting old....I cant understand a word of this!

I feel positively archaeological then.... with you on the blank expression John.

 

[korvin karbon]

lol ok i will explain.

The DJ (overpriced and over rated person whom plays other peoples music and gets paid a fortune) had his wife along with girlfriend and somebody he just met all at the nightclub he was playing at, in which i was working. I got mixed up between who was who and well put my foot in it and the end result was him not being able to play. I had recorded a previous DJ on my recorder (DAT is a very high quality recording medium) i played that and made sure the room was very dark so nobody could see who was really playing the music.

know wha am saying mah brethern ayeeeee ( is that perfectly explained my fellows? yes?)

a mars bar to who knows what starquad is.