Regrets? What would you do differently

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Paul_B

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jul 14, 2008
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Lancashire
I struggle with this as well. I've always got at least 4 books on the go at the same time, I end up with lots of internet tabs open at the same time as I flit between thoughts, I struggle to focus on one job and end up having to make a lot of lists to keep me on the right track with things. My wife sends me off to do something and finds me an hour later doing something totally unrelated because I got distracted by something that lead onto something else. I'm supposed to be cooking soup right now as it happens...
Forgive me for commenting publicly but some of what you describe shares patterns with ppl living with ADHD. It's not a trendy condition to explain bad behaviour or inability to focus on one thing. But it is a real disorder that's probably very much undiagnosed in the general population.

The reason I mentioned that because I've got some of the same traits as you plus more. I've looked into a cause and explored ADHD. My gp and close family believe I have ADHD.

As a result I've looked into it, done self tests from reputable sources and generally looked into it. Whilst I've not got a diagnosis (I've not got the patience for years of banging my head against the nhs brick wall) I've learnt a lot about coping strategies for ADHD that helped me. Not learnt as much as I'd like because I got bored reading it and checked out half a dozen forums instead. Ho hum.
 

John Fenna

Lifetime Member & Maker
Oct 7, 2006
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Pembrokeshire
No regrets - I would not be who I am without doing everything I did....
My advice - follow your heart...even if you do not end up rich and enjoying an easy life at least you had fun getting there!
 

Janne

Guest
Feb 10, 2016
12,368
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Grand Cayman, Norway, Sweden
I think many of us should ask themselves: What could I have done differently to end up in a better/happier way than I am today?

I have one huge regret. Should never have started smoking age 16. Took me 40 years and several tries to break the habit.
 
Be open minded and tolerant of others' opinions, beliefs, attitudes, behaviour, unless, of course, it is a having a serious negative impact on yourself. Do unto others...etc.

If you think that life has got it in for you, it's not a personal thing as life has got it in much worse for almost everyone else. So be grateful.
 
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johnnytheboy

Native
Aug 21, 2007
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I think the world is changing, I think that people are watching the highlights of other people’s life and becoming depressed about their life not being so good, but also when they are watching all of this they are forgetting about living their own life and missing out on chatting with family and making friends.

I think it’s becoming harder to carve a life out for yourself rather, it’s seems to be easier to just watch someone else’s life!
 
Jul 30, 2012
3,571
224
westmidlands
In the vein of your post janne, i would advise study study study for as long as possible so you have as mqny summers as possible to play around in without hasstle such as jobs. Work to live rather than live to work. You really are only young once, and when the physicality matures you cannot get it back. I envy people like john fenna and chris bonnington, who can say "dunnit" on so many occasions.
 

Stew

Bushcrafter through and through
Nov 29, 2003
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I think the world is changing, I think that people are watching the highlights of other people’s life and becoming depressed about their life not being so good, but also when they are watching all of this they are forgetting about living their own life and missing out on chatting with family and making friends.

I think it’s becoming harder to carve a life out for yourself rather, it’s seems to be easier to just watch someone else’s life!

Yes!

So much this!
 

Janne

Guest
Feb 10, 2016
12,368
2,264
Grand Cayman, Norway, Sweden
In the vein of your post janne, i would advise study study study for as long as possible so you have as mqny summers as possible to play around in without hasstle such as jobs. Work to live rather than live to work. You really are only young once, and when the physicality matures you cannot get it back. I envy people like john fenna and chris bonnington, who can say "dunnit" on so many occasions.

Summers off when studying?
I guess I did something wrong, I had to work through all holidays to be able to have a slightly more decent life standard while I studied.
 
Jul 30, 2012
3,571
224
westmidlands
Dunno once you have your rent for such a period, and a bit of food, it doesn't come to much. Thn off to somewhere like Australia Canada see some of the places on a flight, Like gap years, they are not done on a huge budget. Once kids start and morgage and responsibilities of other kinds, you will never find the time.
 

Broch

Full Member
Jan 18, 2009
4,118
3,287
Mid Wales
There are very few things I regret. As others have said, if I had not done each of the small things that I might regret my life could have been turned upside down. I regret not kissing Debbie Smith for longer in year three but, if I had, maybe I would never have married my soulmate and best friend (also a school friend by the way) :) .

No, the one thing I do regret is that I was often (some would say very often) arrogant when I thought I was just confident. It's a fine margin arrogance and confidence. I would never dream of telling the young not to be self-confident because that is what makes us try and, hopefully, succeed. But if there was a good way of guiding the young to be confident without arrogance I'd offer it.

I also wish I had been introduced to the concept of 'The Seeker' at a younger age; I have adopted this philosophy since my thirties and, although I have none of the virtues of the Seeker I am still trying.

So I would encourage youth to be themselves, be confident in what they do, to adopt a basic moral code that they can strive towards. I would suggest (in very short summary):

Not to be judgemental
To bring happiness, joy, and satisfaction to others
To clear the path before family, friends, and the less fortunate
To be honest and sincere where it does not bring sorrow
To stand up for the weak
To strive to be egoless
 

Nice65

Full Member
Apr 16, 2009
4,985
1,540
W.Sussex
I look back and realise I've been arrogant. I think all of us, particularly during our student years, are convinced we know best. I remember my dad telling me I looked absolutely ridiculous in my long trench coat and new romo/punk look, he said I'd look back at myself and cringe. He was right of course.

Today's regret is not being aware that my wife had brought a 25ltr tub of white paint in from the garage to touch up the skirting boards where assorted children had chipped it having hover board accidents. Stepdaughter came to pick her car up and rang the doorbell. Mimi the lanky Jack Russell leapt into the air, as she does, landed in the paint pot, got screamed at, flew round the house to find me, leaving paint absolutely everywhere, carpets, beds, sofas, walls. It's been several hours now and we're still finding more.
 
Jul 24, 2017
1,162
443
somerset
Regrets no, a few wish's maybe, would of liked more time with some people I knew and a few girls that got away but in truth all is as it should be, but that I understand now and if I had become someone else due to choices maybe I would not know this, I don't feel I'm just the sum of my memory's, memory can free you or chain you, I chose to be free.
 

Janne

Guest
Feb 10, 2016
12,368
2,264
Grand Cayman, Norway, Sweden
We would not be what we are today without our past, good or bad.
The World would be a different place without the history exactly as it was.

I had a lengthy discussion with dad how Europe would be without WW1, WW2.
It was interesting to hear his views!
 
Jul 24, 2017
1,162
443
somerset
Just been thinking about the OP idea of key lessons; know yourself, the more honest you are the more chance your life will hold worth for you, enjoy things but hold on to nothing, toys, people, emotions because you will have to give it all up anyway, understand where you truly live and what you truly own, and I don't mean a place or possessions, hold to worthy ideals and be strong because holding to and acting on good morale's needs and takes strength.
 
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Yeoman13

Member
Nov 29, 2017
31
11
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Canada
I'd like to say I wish I had applied myself at school and gotten a scholarship to uni instead of trying to work my way through, however I'd have eventually missed out on my son. Same goes with the idea of wishing I had skipped uni altogether ether and instead had invested my tuition in Apple or Microsoft stock. 26 years, stock splits, compound interest, etc.
Anyway, on a serious note, after having had my son, I would have taken better care of my retirement planning.


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John Fenna

Lifetime Member & Maker
Oct 7, 2006
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Pembrokeshire
I am the product of everything I have done.
To change anything would change who I am.
As I am perfect at being who I am why would I want to change or regret anything I have done?
:)
 
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mrcharly

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 25, 2011
3,246
33
North Yorkshire, UK
Mimi the lanky Jack Russell leapt into the air, as she does, landed in the paint pot, got screamed at, flew round the house to find me, leaving paint absolutely everywhere, carpets, beds, sofas, walls. It's been several hours now and we're still finding more.
In a year's time you'll be telling that story and laughing about it.

But now, oh my, what a mess!
 

Dreadhead

Bushcrafter through and through
My advice is to be a "yes man". Say yes to opportunities, meet new people, try new foods, learn another language, go travelling, get out of your comfort zone, because you can always come back.
Find something you love and pursue it, own it. Let people see that passion come through, and you might just spark another's interest and change their life.

The richest man in life is one who gets to spend that life doing what he loves.

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