Overheard in diy shop

[Rod Paradise]

Its like the lyrics for Michelle Shocked's song "Hey Farmer."



Hey farmer! You been livin' here all your life?
Not yet.
Hey farmer! Where does this road go?
Been livin' here all my life, it ain't gone nowhere yet.
Hey farmer! How do you get to Little Rock?
Listen stranger, you can't get there from here.
Hey farmer! Thought you said that mud-hole weren't very deep?
Only comes up to here on me ducks.
Hey farmer! When you gonna fix that leakin' roof?
Ah stranger, when it's a rainin' it's too wet to fix it and when it's dry it's just as good as any mans house.
Hey farmer! You're not too far from a fool are you?
Just a barbed-wire fence between us.
Hey farmer! You don't know very much do you?
No, but I ain't lost.

We've all had conversations like this with old country types I fear.
GB

I think the thing with living in a small place like Sanquhar is you know and mix with all types, and it can be some great entertainment.

I did have a guy in Co Clare give me the "you can't get there from here" line, but what he really was after was a lift - so he took me to a place where he could then give directions from. I was in no hurry and the craic was good so didn't mind....

 

[Gary Elson]

I know that Ronseal definitely does what it says on the tin.

I drank some and it caused nausea and vomiting.

A mate of mine drank some similar varnish and it killed him - it was a terrible end but a lovely finish

Gary

 

[Goatboy]

A mate of mine drank some similar varnish and it killed him - it was a terrible end but a lovely finish

Gary

Oh we should just gloss over that one

 

[Paddytray]

A farmer and his wife had just waken up one morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in bed, the farmer's wife says, "Pa, you know our neighbor Mr. Jones?"
"Yes Ma, I reckon I do," replied the sleepy farmer.
"Well, every morning before he leaves the house for work, he gives his wife a big ol' kiss. Why don't you ever do that?"
The farmer sighed and said, "Well, I reckon I can, but I just don't know her very well."