Be strong...

[saxonaxe]

I've just heard on the news that Face Book has suffered a major disruption or 'Outrage' Thousands of members are not able to fully participate I understand, so I just thought I would offer this vital but reassuring information to those who are suffering.
Mrs Watkin's cat has returned home safely.
Kim Kardashian has 'Flu
My Aunt is thinking about getting yet another tattoo
I've just had a bacon sarnie

Face Book has assured members that their personal information is 100% safe.........they think.
All members will automatically earn a bonus 100 likes once the system is secure again, to compensate for the loss of their personal daily like rations during the disruption to normal services.

 

[mousey]

O dear lord. This is a major catastrophe - I'm off to stock pile perishable bread and milk before society collapses....

 

[Nice65]

O dear lord. This is a major catastrophe - I'm off to stock pile perishable bread and milk before society collapses....

Apart from interrupting a thrilling game of Facebook scrabble, I can rest assured the carnage won’t affect me too badly as I have 2 tins of oxtail soup in the cupboard and a slightly stale bread roll in the freezer.

Just in case the apocalypse continues I’ll put a couple of my torch batteries on charge. At least then I can do my famous shadow puppet rabbit show.

 

[saxonaxe]

 

[Woody girl]

Wots face book? Sorry to hear about the suffering this is causing but just want to let you all out there let you know I'm fine and had an interesting evening listening to the radio and reading a book. Luckily not being a partaker of this particular modern mind numbing drug I am not suffering any withdrawal symptoms. Nor is my personal information at risk. By the way there were probs with g mail instagram and drive too. Mmmm bit suss eh?

 

[Fadcode]

i have wrapped my PC in a duvet, hoping it will stop sobbing, withdrawal symptoms can be so harsh, I have not plucked up enough courage to check my phone yet, life is so cruel...............................................but hang on, I do not use facebook,..................................what is happening to me.

 

[Paul_B]

I'm not missing the reactionary postings of a retarded aquaintance I no longer speak to or the near constant reposting of self affirmation images about how we are all special and should love ourselves. And the fluffy animals thing? Well not interested.

So I deactivated my Facebook years ago. I really must go through the difficult request procedure to get my account properly deleted some time.

If you need Facebook to keep your life stable and happy then you are not really happy. Face to face contact with people important to you not messaging your "friends" from somewhere you've never been and who you've never actually met makes you truly happy IMHO. You do not have 350 friends. You have perhaps 340 people you've met online and 10 actual friends who really give a sh1t about you.

Let's go for a walk in the country and leave Facebook to sort itself out and hopefully die.

 

[oldtimer]

I think I may have been responsible for this. I've never understood the settings and when I deleted my account I think I accidentally included everybody.

 

[Woody girl]

I think I may have been responsible for this. I've never understood the settings and when I deleted my account I think I accidentally included everybody.

Well done mate!

 

[John Fenna]

I think I may have been responsible for this. I've never understood the settings and when I deleted my account I think I accidentally included everybody.

My hero

 

[Woody girl]

Ok so next time it goes down this is what you do. If you need to contact someone. Pick up a phone.. old fashioned sort will do. Dial their number and speak to them. Or you could pick up a pen and some paper and write a letter. Failing the ability to do either of these actions. Build a fallout shelter , stockpile with toilet paper and beans, hide there till you hear the back online siren.

 

[saxonaxe]

Fadcode
" ...but hang on, I do not use facebook,. "

Then you sir, are condemned to join us, We of the damned ones, in a world of perpetual uncoolness..............

And to those who think you have left...Mr Zuckerberg begs to differ, according to their stored data.....

Uncoolness...Is that a proper word?...... ....

 

[paulds]

I was wondering why people were stopping me in the street to show me pictures of their dinner.

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

 

[Nice65]

Found some sardines too, right at the back behind the ancient BBE Feb/1015 Puy lentils, I’m definitely sorted for future shocks. And did a wonderful shadow puppet rabbit show involving both hands sticking a couple of fingers up in the air. My how we laughed, it was so nice to communicate properly. I’d almost forgotten I had a wife living here to be honest, and her joy at being able to stick another two fingers up at the Facebook tragedy was a cause of much hilarity.

Unfortunately, Eastenders worked flawlessly due to the lack of a massive solar flare.

 

[Fadcode]

pity Eastenders continued working, but lets face it you can't have everything, and you must be grateful for small mercies, you can't rely on the Sun, I prefer the Daily Mail anyhow..

 

[Tony]

A billion people inconvenienced/unable to communicate, because of a server tweak, that's a lot of eggs in one basket...

 

[petrochemicals]

If you need Facebook to keep your life stable and happy then you are not really happy. Face to face contact with people important to you not messaging your "friends" from somewhere you've never been and who you've never actually met makes you truly happy IMHO. You do not have 350 friends. You have perhaps 340 people you've met online and 10 actual friends who really give a sh1t about you.

You've gone an broken my 'eart now, that only leaves me with 2.

Makes me wonder about all these people who have 2 million followers on such and such. Are they just ********?

 

[Paul_B]

I think I may have been responsible for this. I've never understood the settings and when I deleted my account I think I accidentally included everybody.

This gets a +1000 from me. If anyone finds those powerful settings but doesn't feel like they can use them, please point it to them. IMHO on light of Facebook practises I believe it's decline is needed. I originally posted something stronger than decline but it went too far.

 

[Paul_B]

You've gone an broken my 'eart now, that only leaves me with 2.

Makes me wonder about all these people who have 2 million followers on such and such. Are they just ********?

The human mind cannot cope with that many acquaintances. It's about numbers justifying your self worth Then it becomes about money when you're followers hit magic numbers. Then you're into a race to become a professional influencer.

Shallow and false worth.

It reminds me when I was on FB and met up with real mates Some would discuss how many friends they had on FB. I joined in and was proud to say that most of my friends were in the room. The only FB friends not there were family. They looked at me as some weirdo. It was shortly after I tore the retarded, reactionary bloke a new one on his public FB post that was offensive in a very racist way. I got a load of likes from his FB friends (not just mine).

I then deactivated FB account.

 

[paulds]

A billion people inconvenienced/unable to communicate, because of a server tweak, that's a lot of eggs in one basket...

As this is what I do for a living (Not for Facebook!) I almost explained what happened, then I remembered that nobody actually cares and I'd bore the pants off you all so I decided not to bother

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