Good neighbours

[oldtimer]

Have you heard the one about the boy scout who always helped old ladies across the road whether they wanted to cross or not? I know how they felt.

Today, our next door neighbours came to ask if I needed help clearing snow or carrying in logs. I feel slightly embarrassed by offers like this especially since yesterday I had dug a traveller's car out of the snow before the neighbours were up, and had split and carried in ample logs in preparation for the forecast cold spell. Similarly , having grown up in world war two and experienced quite a few emergences including a hurricane and being cut off by both floods and snowdrifts at various times over the years, we know to keep a good supply of food and fuel on hand. Ironically I'm also on the steering committee and a volunteer for the good neighbour scheme for our group of villages.

I had a similar reaction to the one I had recently when on an overcrowded bus late one night coming back from a night out in Oxford, when a large, slightly drunk young man lurched over to me, put his face very close to mine and said, "would you like my seat?"

I know I'm now in my late 70s, but I'm still programmed to give rather than receive help. And I'm not ready to ready to concede that I need it. Perhaps I look more decrepit than I feel. I guess one day I'll have to accept that I'm getting older and meanwhile I'll have to work harder at accepting my neighbour's help in the spirit with which it is offered.

 

[Mesquite]

That did make me chuckle

At least you're lucky you've got neighbours who were thoughtful enough to ask which is a rare thing nowadays

 

[Toddy]

It made me chuckle too
You're no where near ready to sit back and let others fetch and carry for you.

Nice of your neighbour to ask though; give him credit for that

M

 

[Broch]

I know what you mean. I'm trying to play the tactical game - politely make it clear I don't need help for the trivial things but occasionally ask for a bit of help with something really heavy (you know, the kind of thing we used to do in our 30s, think we can still do, but know we ought not to do).

That way, I'm hoping when I really do need help they're still offering

 

[Dogoak]

Good neighbours are worth their weight in gold, nice to hear you have some and no doubt, you are one.

Luckily the few neighbours we have are also in the same mould

 

[Robson Valley]

I can't do much of anything in the last couple of years which requires more than 20yds walking or standing for times.
I have to sit. Hate to admit it but I need to sit. Those 70+ who can still move are amazing.
Fortunately, there are "walkers" who can help with shopping, shoveling, any distances where I'm done in.
I am grateful for their assistance.

 

[Nomad64]

We are very lucky with neighbours here in mid-Wales.

Two of them introduced themselves and their tractors before we even moved in at the beginnning of the year - one by pulling our removal van out of the ditch it had got stuck in and the other dragging it up our steep drive when it got stuck in a knee deep pile of oak leaves.

I finally got the chance to make myself useful today by helping feed some sheep which my 75 year old nearest neighbour was struggling to get to through thigh deep snow.

I’m sure I will be further in his debt though in the coming weeks as we will be getting some sheep of our own which will hopefully lamb in February or March which will see me well outside my comfort zone!

 

[Paul_B]

I grew up with good neighbours as a kid. Part of the family almost. Then we moved, I grew up and moved into my own place. Being basically shy I never introduced myself. The neighbours each side of me were friends and often sat out in one yard having a drink. They didn't introduce themselves. To put it bluntly because I had no confidence when I moved in it has resulted in not much contact with my neighbours. At most they'll take parcels in for me and vice versa. I'll take them round but one side would not and if I didn't spot the card for a few days it would still be there.

There are basically clique of friends. Due to assumptions made we are not in that clique. Results in no feeling of neighbourliness.

The op is truly blessed if he has neighbours who actually think about you and offer to help. If you lose their good will out of grumpiness over an offer of help then I'll consider you an old fool! I don't think that'll happen.

If I'm ever in your position I think I'd smile, thank them, politely refuse and then offer to help them after you've finished clearing your path / driveway. Turn it back. In a polite way.

PS it's good you're 70+ with your health and being active. I met a guy who turned 67 years old then a few days later ran the Bob Graham round within the requisite 24 hours. His mate with him was 66. Someone else was in her 70s but looked late 50s and was fitter than most 30 year olds. It is weird but I have a lot of respect for them for what is fortune in that they're able to do things into their old age most ppl could not do at any time in their life.