Well I think I may have hit rock bottom

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gregorach

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Sep 15, 2005
3,723
28
51
Edinburgh
You've not hit rock bottom, it's just a temporary setback. Believe me, rock bottom is a lot further down - never quite been there myself, but I've been close enough to see it a few times. Assuming you've still got a roof over your head, you've not got an untreatable medical condition, and you're not a raging junkie or alcoholic, things could be a heck of a lot worse.

I'm not saying your problems are trivial, or that your unhappiness isn't real or important - but at times like this, it's important to count your blessings. Take some time out for yourself, have some fun, and regroup. It's not the end of the world!
 

Wilderbeast

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Dec 9, 2008
2,036
9
32
Essex-Cardiff
You've not hit rock bottom, it's just a temporary setback. Believe me, rock bottom is a lot further down - never quite been there myself, but I've been close enough to see it a few times. Assuming you've still got a roof over your head, you've not got an untreatable medical condition, and you're not a raging junkie or alcoholic, things could be a heck of a lot worse.

I'm not saying your problems are trivial, or that your unhappiness isn't real or important - but at times like this, it's important to count your blessings. Take some time out for yourself, have some fun, and regroup. It's not the end of the world!

cheers mate :)
 

Melonfish

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 8, 2009
2,460
1
Warrington, UK
Lol dude don't worry about it, i barely finished college, me and my then girlfriend (now my wife) had a "scare" so i freaked and started looking for work in the IT sector, i landed a tech job at a local ISP and left college. turns out she wasn't so i even managed to go back and do my exams later in the year (i JUST scraped one as a pass) other then that most of what i've done is self learning, i've been on a number of courses with various workplaces and i'm far more knowledgable now then i was when i was 18, i've worked on some interesting projects as sysadmin or network admin (UK census 2001 was fun)

Uni isn't all its cracked up to be, i've seen countless people come into positions in workplaces where they have a uni degree a stack of debt and start in the same position and same wages as any other joe who does not have a degree. career prospects and all that exactly the same. obviously it varies, for instance in medicine, but generally training can be found anywhere and hands on is way better then study.

don't kick yourself too much over exams, its not the be all and end all, once you get out into the workplace and a career you'll realise that. you may think the exams were a waste you may not but honestly don't beat yourself up and remember the mantra "when you reach the bottom, the only way is up"
 

TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
10,526
3,719
50
Exeter
You've not hit rock bottom, it's just a temporary setback. Believe me, rock bottom is a lot further down - never quite been there myself, but I've been close enough to see it a few times. Assuming you've still got a roof over your head, you've not got an untreatable medical condition, and you're not a raging junkie or alcoholic, things could be a heck of a lot worse.

I'm not saying your problems are trivial, or that your unhappiness isn't real or important - but at times like this, it's important to count your blessings. Take some time out for yourself, have some fun, and regroup. It's not the end of the world!

Indeed. Everything is relevant. :)

Chin up Youngster!
 

rik_uk3

Banned
Jun 10, 2006
13,320
24
69
south wales
Don't sweat it, I did 'A' levels and then took a 26 year 'gap year' lol.

Just take your time and think on what you want to do.
 

Miyagi

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Aug 6, 2008
2,298
5
South Queensferry
I never went to university straight away.
I was...mmm, let me think...I must have been 22 when I went - a couple of years older than most undergraduates.
And those couple of years made an IMMENSE difference. I was there because I wanted to be there, not because I either thought it was what I had to do or because parents wanted me to go.
Consequently, I did alright (went on to do a Phd at Oxford! Smug).
Same goes for you. There's no obligation to go to university. I now work as a university lecturer, and I see an incredible amount of students whose hearts just aren't in it.
So, take a couple of years off. More if you want to. Go back and retake your A levels if needs must. But don't do it to help yourself climb the career ladder - that's seldom motivation. Do it for socratic reasons, do it for the pleasure of learning. Do it for yourself.
Don't be in a rush.
There's a whole world out there full of experience and variety. Be part of it.
Failure is also a reward. It can often help motivate to do better, or do something different. It can help you learn something about yourself.
Life offers some occasional sh**ty experiences. There's not much you can do about that. Humans are wonderfully adaptable creatures, capable of all kinds of suffering and privations they thought they could never endure. But we do. And doubtless you will get over this rough patch.
Embrace those things you love and enjoy for the moment. They will provide a valuable crutch during horrid times. But as things improve/change so will you and you will either return to those old pastures with renewed vigour or you will have found somewhere new to graze and rest (if I haven't laboured that metaphor too much).
There is no need to impress anyone nor be anything. In time that will seem obvious.

Oh yeah, I passed my driving test on my FOURTH attempt!!

An excellent post.

Seems like there are a lot of folk here who've been in a similar position Wilderbeast.

Last year for me was a mixed year, injury, unemployment, employment, unemployment and it's normal to feel crushed initially, but then you get on with it.

Ever played the game snakes and ladders? Life can be a bit like that at times.

Do you know what I find heartening about your initial post Wilderbeast?

It was that you trusted the folks on here enough to confide in them.

That speaks volumes.

All the best,

Liam
 

Wilderbeast

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Dec 9, 2008
2,036
9
32
Essex-Cardiff
An excellent post.

Seems like there are a lot of folk here who've been in a similar position Wilderbeast.

Last year for me was a mixed year, injury, unemployment, employment, unemployment and it's normal to feel crushed initially, but then you get on with it.

Ever played the game snakes and ladders? Life can be a bit like that at times.

Do you know what I find heartening about your initial post Wilderbeast?

It was that you trusted the folks on here enough to confide in them.

That speaks volumes.

All the best,

Liam

cheers mate..........I LOVE your signature :lmao:
 

British Red

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Dec 30, 2005
26,731
1,981
Mercia
University is one of many options Wilderbeast. Its really not all that important. I didn't bother with A levels, and don't regret it for a minute. I am now in the fun position of being in charge of a very large department for a FTSE 100 company and have plenty of Oxbridge, Harvard etc. graduates working for me - a goodly proportion of which are PhDs (or more commonly DPhils). They are no more likely to succeed in industry than the ex labourer who I employ (actually I don't think I pay any of them as much as him).

My father was a PhD and a university lecturer and he certainly convinced me not to worry too much about university qualifications (unless I wanted to work in a career that demanded them such as medicine). I'm glad I listened - I couldn't bear to take such a swinging pay cut to earn what he would these days! A degree may help get you an interview, its the interview that gets the job and then the work you do that gets you promoted. Its certainly far less important than a good personality or work ethic in getting ahead in the workplace. A good brain is needed but a bit of paper isn't.

I'm not anti university btw, my daughter is at Cambridge right now reading law, but I do recognise that, excepting a few careers, its not really all that important. I certainly don't even check a CV for academic qualifications - they are wholly irrelevant to me - vocational quals and experience are all I give credibility to.

Red
 

leon-1

Full Member
I appreciate what you are saying. It's never nice to be told you failed, but this is generally how we grow as people, it's how you bounce back that makes you the person that you will become.

I left school with no qualifications at all. I then joined the Army as an infanteer and spent 13 years doing a job I loved and was good at. During that time I got military qualifications to do with radio use, medical, health & hygeine, water purification and a host of purely military qualifications. I also travelled around a lot and managed to get to see places on the planet that very few people will ever see apart from on nature programs or documentries.

I left for a couple of reasons, one was health the other was pride. I qualified as a computer engineer as pre-release. I couldn't get work with the normal "yeah you have the qual's, but you need the experience" excuses from potential employers. I then got a job as an opto-electronics test technician. Apart from my normal duties there I learnt about health and safety, PAT (portable appliance testing) and LEV (local exhaust and ventilation) amongst others. Within six months I had passed the senior techs exam and I was training engineers. My employers were going to send me on release to get my degree in Electronics lite. This however didn't work out for reasons detailed below.

After a year there was the opto - electronics crash and my employers cut the work force from just under 6,500 to 783, I retained my job. The factory was then sold to another firm for whom I worked for a further four years, the numbers of employees went up (2,500) and we were profitable, but not enough for those at the top, so they moved the whole set up to China and made all of us who had stuck with them through thick and thin redundant.

After a couple of years of trying like hell to get work in an area that had high levels of unemployment and a desperate work force I went self employed.

There is always another avenue to explore and keeping an open mind and by being adaptable you will be better able to handle life outside of halls of learning.

Good luck with it and as the others have said, chin up:)
 

Wilderbeast

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Dec 9, 2008
2,036
9
32
Essex-Cardiff
University is one of many options Wilderbeast. Its really not all that important. I didn't bother with A levels, and don't regret it for a minute. I am now in the fun position of being in charge of a very large department for a FTSE 100 company and have plenty of Oxbridge, Harvard etc. graduates working for me - a goodly proportion of which are PhDs (or more commonly DPhils). They are no more likely to succeed in industry than the ex labourer who I employ (actually I don't think I pay any of them as much as him).

My father was a PhD and a university lecturer and he certainly convinced me not to worry too much about university qualifications (unless I wanted to work in a career that demanded them such as medicine). I'm glad I listened - I couldn't bear to take such a swinging pay cut to earn what he would these days! A degree may help get you an interview, its the interview that gets the job and then the work you do that gets you promoted. Its certainly far less important than a good personality or work ethic in getting ahead in the workplace. A good brain is needed but a bit of paper isn't.

I'm not anti university btw, my daughter is at Cambridge right now reading law, but I do recognise that, excepting a few careers, its not really all that important. I certainly don't even check a CV for academic qualifications - they are wholly irrelevant to me - vocational quals and experience are all I give credibility to.

Red

Can I come and work for you then mate :D
 

Cobweb

Native
Aug 30, 2007
1,149
30
South Shropshire
Personally I believe everything happens for a reason. When you have your metaphorical cup of tea have a think about why this has happened, what the universe is trying to teach you.

If it involves someone else, perhaps ask yourself if the lesson is for them instead/as well?

Once you have figured out the why, you can move on and learn from your experience, perhaps this hiccup is to show you that you have taken your academic position for granted, or perhaps to teach your tutor to slow down and take time to really think about how they are teaching...

There is some great advice here, just remember life is a journey, not a race... all is zen :)
 

John Fenna

Lifetime Member & Maker
Oct 7, 2006
23,143
2,880
66
Pembrokeshire
Personally I believe everything happens for a reason. When you have your metaphorical cup of tea have a think about why this has happened, what the universe is trying to teach you.

If it involves someone else, perhaps ask yourself if the lesson is for them instead/as well?

Once you have figured out the why, you can move on and learn from your experience, perhaps this hiccup is to show you that you have taken your academic position for granted, or perhaps to teach your tutor to slow down and take time to really think about how they are teaching...

There is some great advice here, just remember life is a journey, not a race... all is zen :)

I second that!

Also -

I decided not to go to Uni, as it felt wrong at the time, did a coll. course in computer Programming instead and started work in a comercial bank at silly money - more than I could spend!
Unfortunately I then found I hated that work, quit and spent a year bumming around Britain with a rucksack, eventually drifting into work in the Outdoor Education field.
In my 30s I then went and studied Fashion Design and got a Btec which I then used to become a freelance designer of outdoor gear (for the likes of Craghoppers - no -I am not responsible for the BG range!), had my own label range for a while, wrote DIY clothing books, lead overseas expeds and now write for magazines doing gear reviews, do a bit of Canoe Coaching and relief work for Mencap.
I love my life, but if I had gone to Uni I would have missed so much, ended up doing work I hated and been a lot less happy!
Uni is not the be all and end all and things happen for a reason!
Chin up - it could be worse...it could be raining!
 
D

Dolphin

Guest
I know exactly where you're coming from shippers.

I also get annoyed by the assumption that we all have to have a Ba by the time we're 23 (intellectuals) or finishing off an apprenticeship (the rest), or at least this is my experience. It took me until my mid 20's to decide what I wanted to do (still not sure), and now i'm off to uni at 33 after a variety of careers & only having 1 GCSE when I was 25.

What I find many people do, is to follow the socially acceptable path of least resistance (don't stand out from the crowd, don't rock the boat, be one of us etc.), but it doesn't mean it's the best or right way, or that you have to do the same yourself.

If you take a year or 2 to figure things out, you can still keep up with the academic side of things (e.g. via the OU) to keep your options open.

I also had an interest in classics & so became a field archaeologist for a year because I wanted to be like Indiana Jones! You're pretty much young enough to do want you want, so my advice would be to enjoy yourself whilst you can.

Marty
 

Rebel

Native
Jun 12, 2005
1,052
6
Hertfordshire (UK)
You've not hit rock bottom, it's just a temporary setback. Believe me, rock bottom is a lot further down - never quite been there myself, but I've been close enough to see it a few times. Assuming you've still got a roof over your head, you've not got an untreatable medical condition, and you're not a raging junkie or alcoholic, things could be a heck of a lot worse.

I'm not saying your problems are trivial, or that your unhappiness isn't real or important - but at times like this, it's important to count your blessings. Take some time out for yourself, have some fun, and regroup. It's not the end of the world!

Too right. I've hit rock bottom and I don't ever want to go there again. However it did teach me a lot and I take a lot more things in my stride now.

The old saying that "what doesn't kill you makes you strong" might be ridiculed by some but most of the time our setbacks in life bring about a positive result in the end. Of course this depends on our attitude to those setbacks in the long term.

"Durulz" has some great advice and so do many of the others. It's good to see so much mature and helpful advice. :grouphug:
 

tobes01

Full Member
May 4, 2009
1,902
45
Hampshire
From a position of youth, a year whilst you sort things out must sound like forever. I had the same when I got into my chosen uni only to discover I loathed it with a vengeance, and had to sit it out for 2 terms whilst I sorted out a place elsewhere. That seemed like an eternity. Ditto a few years later when I stuffed up my knees at Sandhurst and got back-termed - the prospect of another 6 months of that was too long to bear.

I know this sounds patronising, but as you get older, fatter and more experienced you'll realise that this is an opportunity, and that there's plenty worse things that can (but hopefully won't) happen to you.

My suggestion: travel. Earn a few bob then put those bushcraft skills to good use to travel cheaply. My greatest regret is that it was my late 20s before I started to see the world, I think I'd have made some very different life decisions if I'd done it at 18.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 
That which does not kill you, can only make you stronger.

I know where you are coming from - never had the opportunity to go to Uni, had to go out to work full time at 17, no choices or options.

Brother got private education / college / Uni, I got FA - why? Simply unfortunate enough to be dyslexic in an age where the common concensus among teachers was that there was no such thing and it was an excuse for being lazy / stupid / all of the above.
Basically a square peg in a world of round holes.

Parents were told spending on education would be a waste of time.

Took a long time to get past that, now running my own sucessful business and have moved my family out of the grime of the city to North Devon where the kids have a much better quality of life - all without any help or anything thing higher than a GCSE to my name.

(well, I did get a diploma - funny thing that, no good at school but studied for a diploma in my own time several years later and got straight A's :rolleyes: Who'd have thought it!)

Your life has more paths to it than you realise, take time - regroup and reasses then when you set your sights on what it is you want to do, you do it and don;t let any bu**er get in your way, don't let any bull**it grind you down and work hard towards the day you look back on this and laugh.
 

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