How do I get in a hammock when paraletic?

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LazySod

Need to contact Admin...
Oct 18, 2007
435
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61
Oldham
Not sure about the "Get in the hammock and then drink" school of thought as what goes in one end has to ..... you know the rest, and they don't do nappies in my size in Tesco.

The "leave the hammock on the ground" crew are forgetting that it ain't a level site, God knows where i'd wake up.

I demand a share of any profit gained from vids of my exploits.

Rock-Mud ...... I'll be sporting a crash helmet.
 

phaserrifle

Nomad
Jun 16, 2008
366
1
South of England
here's an idea:
take it slowly.
try getting in to it when a little merry. when you can do that continue to the next steps: slightly tipsy, tipsy, very tipsy, slighty sloshed, quite drunk, and finaly generously sloshed. only then attempt when paralytic. it may help, it may not....
 

LazySod

Need to contact Admin...
Oct 18, 2007
435
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61
Oldham
here's an idea:
take it slowly.
try getting in to it when a little merry. when you can do that continue to the next steps: slightly tipsy, tipsy, very tipsy, slighty sloshed, quite drunk, and finaly generously sloshed. only then attempt when paralytic. it may help, it may not....


Sorry but all those attempts (I count seven) to get into my hammock (gaiters off, boots off, limber up, make an attempt, boots on, gaiters on) will seriously cut into my drinking time:confused: ........ or was that some sort of evil masterplan to keep me sober?:eek:
 

SimonM

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Apr 7, 2007
4,015
8
East Lancashire
www.wood-sage.co.uk
Not sure about the "Get in the hammock and then drink" school of thought as what goes in one end has to ..... you know the rest, and they don't do nappies in my size in Tesco.

Many of our more uncouth members, so I am told, take a bottle to bed with them in their hammock. Apparently, you can roll onto your side, unload (carefully:umbrella:) and cuddle the bottle on colder nights like a hot water bottle.:eek:

Like I said, some of the more uncouth member, not me - never!:eek: :rolleyes:

Simon
 

alpha_centaur

Settler
Jan 2, 2006
728
0
45
Millport, Scotland
You've never slept in a hammock before and you intend to sleep in one paralytic, I've gotta see that video. Not the when you get in the when you realise the world is swinging big style and you really need to get out in a hurry.

My advice use a bivvy bag its on the ground and you can fall any further than that.

Enjoy Dude.

And you can write the tutorial and stop me looking like a fool (with the hammock) at morch's when I eventually make it down.
 

addo

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Feb 8, 2006
2,485
9
Derbyshire
I wouldn't worry about it Tony, ive yet to sleep in my hammock sober. I normally wake up cold and as I fell into it but still in it, just. There quite forgiving. Especially if slung low :D
 

LazySod

Need to contact Admin...
Oct 18, 2007
435
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61
Oldham
My other thought about this whole anti-gravity sleep system is that i might be lucky enough to fall into my hammock but then i've somehow got to get into a sleeping bag while swinging out of control.

Any tips on that lil gem?
 

Jared

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Sep 8, 2005
3,439
670
51
Wales
Climbing harness, long rope, and some pullies should do it with fear falling :D
 

Glen

Life Member
Oct 16, 2005
618
1
61
London
The method I prefered for drunken nights was to mostly get in the bag before getting into the hammock.

Rig the hammock low, sitting height where you can place both feet on the floor.
Have something clean and dry to stand on, a waterproof jacket will do.
Sit in the middle of hammock, with sleeping bag one side jacket the other.
Best way I find to do this when wobbly yourself is lift the far side of the hammock up behind you, as it works as a kinda backrest, and plonk your bottom squarely in the center of the hammock keeping both feet on the floor
Take off boots and socks, ( one foot at a time ) put jacket on floor under feet.
Stand back up and take of rest of clothing, put on sleepwear, thermals etc.
Sit back down in center of hammock and grab sleeping bag, unzip most of way.
Stand back up putting feet into the bottom of the sleeping bag and pull it up, zip to about waist height.
Plonk yourself back into the sitting positon of the hammock, only now your sitting in the sleeping bag, with feet still on the floor for stability, pull bag up, one arm in if it's side zipped, hood over head and hold front edge of hammock with free hand.
Swing legs up and fall into hammock only having to worry about sleeping position and the last part of the zip.

Trying it a few times sober will help in judging just where to sit along the length of the hammock so you fall almost straight into your favoured sleeping position.
 

Chris G

Settler
Mar 23, 2007
912
0
Cheshire
That's roughly what I do, but I battle with a fleece sleeping bag liner (which doesn't have a side opening!) when it's cold - I like being warm (I've done the whole -17 degC in a 2 season sleeping bag thing and don't feel the need to repeat it).

Chris
 

SimonM

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Apr 7, 2007
4,015
8
East Lancashire
www.wood-sage.co.uk
With the underblanket you are already insulated underneath.

I unzip my doss bag, just keeping the foot section sealed and use it like a quilt. Jamb your feet in the bottom, tuck in the edge around you and go to sleep. Makes getting at your "water bottle" easier to, so I've been told!

Simon
 

Shewie

Mod
Mod
Dec 15, 2005
24,259
24
48
Yorkshire
My other thought about this whole anti-gravity sleep system is that i might be lucky enough to fall into my hammock but then i've somehow got to get into a sleeping bag while swinging out of control.

Any tips on that lil gem?



The general practice is to wriggle around like an enormous green maggot for about 10 minutes, then once you`ve eventually worn yourself out and got so twisted up in lumpy bits of fabric, just close your eyes and wait for the rocking to stop.
 
The general practice is to wriggle around like an enormous green maggot for about 10 minutes, then once you`ve eventually worn yourself out and got so twisted up in lumpy bits of fabric, just close your eyes and wait for the rocking to stop.

That's sort of how I did it, except the wriggling and kicking lasted about 20 minutes, accompanied by much cursing. I never managed to get into the dossbag and at one point I did have a rather interesting view of the floor through my mozzie net, whilst Mad Dave and Spike tried very hard not to laugh, for fear of being thumped by a frustrated Womble.

That said, I was quite warm and comfortable, once I'd given up on the dossbag and used it as a blanket instead.
 

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