Why can't Christmas trees sew ?

[Toddy]

Why can't Christmas trees sew ?
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Because they keep dropping their needles


M

 

[Ecoman]

groan......

 

[Toddy]

Well, y'know? I'm sitting here stuffing crackers.
I just had to share

M

 

[Toddy]

What do you call Santa's little helpers ?
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Subordinate clauses



M

 

[Ecoman]

Father Christmas' sleigh breaks down on Christmas Eve. He flagges down a passing motorist and askes, "Can you help me fix my sleigh?"

Sorry the driver says. I know nothing about mechanics, I'm a chiropodist.

Well in that case, can you give me a toe?

Badum Tish!

 

[Toddy]

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations ?
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Tinsilitis !

 

[Toddy]

Ecoman, I'm stealing that one

Most of the ones I have in this set are truly beyond dire.

M

 

[Ecoman]

Did Santa go to school?

No he was Elf-taught

 

[Ecoman]

Fill your boots Mary. I have plenty more xmas jokes but maybe not for the dinner table

 

[Tor helge]

Why is Santa always so jolly?
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Because he knows where all the naughty girls live


Ok, I`ll take my coat........

 

[Teepee]

Mary and Joseph....
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... now they had a stable relationship.

 

[oldtimer]

Contributors to this thread have clearly not read the sanity clause.

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Oops! I've just found there is is no Sanity Claus!